Is anyone else experiencing sporadic fluctuations in relapses?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ermkaybruv, Jun 20, 2018.

  1. ermkaybruv

    ermkaybruv New Fapstronaut

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    So the first time I tried NoFap I went around a year before relapsing and then getting to the point where I was masturbating/looking at porn regularly for about a month. After that I resolved to quit (not really with any more determination than the last time but maybe some more experience) and went three proud years without any porn or masturbation.

    Then one day out of the blue (I wasn't having a great time in life but I'd experienced worse during the three years and still managed to abstain) my body seemed to inadvertently just type all the keys and click all the clicks and I was back where I started. Out of the blue! I fapped three times in one day before I managed to get a hold of myself. It was bizarre and seemed startlingly automatic considering I had gone so long (even spending days home alone) without difficulty.

    After that I went only a month before relapsing AGAIN! This time I fapped twice in one day. Then I went FOUR MONTHS without hardly any urge, until on the fourth month I gave in and fapped once (so it was three times in one day, two times in one day, one time in one day in perfect sequence).

    Now this latest time I went two months before I gave in and fapped once.

    I'm finding it extremely difficult because there seems to be no rhyme or reason to when I relapse. I personally do not want to look at porn OR masturbate because I feel better without both and will MANAGE almost effortlessly to do so but then suddenly my body just seems to act on its own when I least expect it. Is anyone else having this experience of just having perfect self-control and then one completely unpredictable day your body goes screw it? What cues might I be able to look for to catch myself?

    It's such a gross and defeating feeling to relapse :(
     

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