Is dating during a reboot selfish?

The choice is yours and only yours...you gotta sit down and evaluate it yourself and only you are in the position to know when you're ready...because you're trying to fish for someone else to give you that answer, I would say yourre prolly not ready

 

If you are honest with the women you are dating about your reboot and addiction before things get serious no I don’t think it’s selfish maybe not so good for your own recovery but that varies. If you date women and are not honest then it’s absolutely selfish and deceptive among many other things. Take it from a woman who had a man do this to her it’s not a nice thing to do to someone.

 

I've been wrestling with this same problem. One of my reasons for doing NoFap was my lack of motivation in pursuing real life women. Since my first and only relationship ended a year and a half ago, my love life consisted of pulling on nights out, occasionally followed by disappointing drunken sex. Any time a girl showed me any continued attention I would invariably lose interest, choosing instead to indulge in the 'easy way out' of instant gratification. Just a few weeks into my challenge I redownloaded Tinder, got a conversation going with a girl and ended up going on a couple of dates. I broke it off after the second date but it was great experience. Just over a week later I got talking to another girl and a few days ago SHE asked ME out. That is the first time in my life that has happened. It was a great first date and we're still talking and planning our second. But I have the same reservations as you man. I've only had sex once since I started this challenge and it was a huge disappointment in that I expected to see positive results but my same problems were still there. As a result I'm still pretty anxious about the next time I'm intimate with a girl. I never planned to abstain from sex but as a result of NoFap I seem to be getting wayyy more opportunities than normal.

 

If you are honest with the women that you are dating about your NoFap journey then you will not have the same anxiety about Sex that you do, because she will know the deal. Until you are able to be honest with women, you are not ready to be dating. I think you realize that if things get serious and lead to sex or long term dating, you will have no choice but to reveal your issues and you are not ready to do that, so you find ways to cut the relationship off before you get there. I don’t know how many times SOs have to say this to you all in the dating world but YOU MUST be honest with the people you are seeing. Otherwise you are creating a relationship by deception and while that may start well, it will not end well.