Is Femdom Really Wrong?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by dogeatdog, Jan 13, 2020.

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  1. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Hey guys, I see quite often that people detest femdom as an awful thing caused by excessive PMO. While I'm not denying the fact that I have overstimulated my younger self with PMO, I have never really shunned the idea of a female "dominating" me in a sexual manner and have always been comfortable with that idea my whole life. I am also REALLY attracted to dominant women who know what they want and how to get it. Has PMO messed up my fetishes or is it natural? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
     
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you.
     
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  3. thelitfit1

    thelitfit1 Fapstronaut

    I can only speak for me personally, and it was damaging. I would watch that genre and feel grossly humiliated after I finished. I also didn't find it applicable to real life, where 99% of the women I meet are more feminine in nature in bed.
     
  4. ninuhuge

    ninuhuge New Fapstronaut

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    I have nothing against feminism. but men who like it, often have some psychological trauma and they need the help of a specialist.
     
  5. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    I think men are naturally dominant and women are naturally submissive, but that doesn’t mean that there are millions of people who don’t fit that mould
     
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  6. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I forgot to mention, I've actually NEVER PMO'd to femdom P as weird as it sounds. I just really like the idea of putting myself completely in someone else's loving hands. It seems that the general consensus is that I migh have faced some serious trauma when I was younger but I felt as if I had a pretty normal childhood, which is quite worrying.
     
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  7. Jonnyb4

    Jonnyb4 Fapstronaut

    Hey @dogeatdog , I'd absolutely agree with you in this and from recovering from pmo issues surrounding femdom I would say that what your talking about is something completely different to the damaging genre type.

    For me you've said what makes it different..

    I'm also more submissive naturally, both in and out the sack, not always but as a general rule. I have absolutely no issues, indeed find it a big turn on, to have a dominant woman in bed. But, as you've said it's "dominant" in loving hands. If that's your relationship with someone you love and they love you, then I'd maybe even go so far as saying none of that can be damaging. But certainly for me, when my wife takes charge in bed I absolutely love it. She can tie me to the bed and have her wicked way any time she wants lol.


    From personal experience, the damaging part has been the one sided relationships, secrecy, lies, going against things I think as morally part of who I am, escalation of desires to those I wouldn't have entertained previously. None of that comes from hands that love, it comes from hands that exploit for their own gain and your humiliation / degradation. And even more worryingly (the final point for me) was starting to actually get off on that instead of the actual act of anything sexual.
     
  8. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I was always in femdom,for me porn didn't induced femdom,since ever i was addicted to femdom and never to vanilla things.I guess that is just in my blood.
     
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  9. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    @Jonnyb4 ... my man, you somehow encapsulated what I was thinking without even knowing it and have turned it into delicious word gravy. I seriously cannot express how perfectly you put what I was thinking 'femdom' really was into words.

    @Kligor , you're the first guy whose shared a similar stance to me. Glad I'm not alone!
     
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  10. Jonnyb4

    Jonnyb4 Fapstronaut

    Haha..

    Mmm, does it come with chips?

    ;)
     
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  11. Epic Flight

    Epic Flight Fapstronaut

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    The answer with the most value cant be found at the forums. Do at least 90 days, but I suggest one year. Than ask yourself if you still feel like you enjoy it. If yes, than its YOUR thing you like. If no, than it was just a messed up brain. Good luck :)
     
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  12. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    Sometime I wonder if fetish that got into you because of porn for years will simply disappear.
    I got some weird fetish that is 100% induced by porn, but I got them 20 years ago. I don't think it will disappear because it's too deep. Althought I think the last fetishs I got will disappear (at least I hope very much so).
     
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  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    You cannot get rid of femdom addiction by stopping masturbating.
     
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  14. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Being attracted to women as women means getting pleasure from their fulfillment. If that means enjoying them when they need to dominate and feel empowered that way, and facilitating that as an act of love, I can’t see the problem. Don’t understand the thinking that men have to always dominate in a sexual encounter. The goal is mutual pleasure, and in particular taking pleasure in the pleasure of the person you are with.
     
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  15. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Sorry, women who dominate men most certainly do not do it as "an act of love". These type of women are the people to avoid. I realize I am saying the same thing on almost all these femdom threads but it's based on experience and you don't want to be in the position I'm in. Being sexually dominated by a woman is very bad for a man's health as it will cause mental damage if you increase serotonin afterwards.
     
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  16. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Fedmom, didn’t mean a woman who you are in a relationship with should always be in a dominant position, just that switching every now and then to allow their feeling of control and to occasionally empower them if that’s what they would like can be an act of love.
     
  17. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Okay but the fetishes that female dominatrixes do can cause mental damage, make you suicidal and cause constant physical pain if you cure masochism after. (I realize I keep saying the same thing but I wouldn't want anyone else to have to experience the pain that I did last year).
     
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  18. Jonnyb4

    Jonnyb4 Fapstronaut

    I think I (maybe we) blur the lines of femdom, mistress, dominatrix and an actual loving relationship that sometimes portrays similar things. I don't even know if that has a name lol.

    Female domination.. you can take it as the switch off power between two partners allowing for one and/or the other to feel empowered, in control etc. or even powerless, at the mercy of another etc. Maybe domination in this sense isn't the right word. As I said above, if my wife wanted to tie me to the bed and have her way with me I'd be all up for it lol. And I don't see that as damaging.

    If you take femdom as being a total control over someone with no affection or love, the "mistress" being the one who takes pleasure at the other persons expense, who humiliates and degrades the other person etc etc. Then that I do see as damaging.
     
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  19. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    yes femdom is really wrong. the male is the dominant one not the female.

    neither the man nor the female will ever be satisfied in such a dynamic. the man will feel worthless, the woman will lose attraction to him and keep him as side piece/provider and will keep finding male victims to subdue to confirm her erroneous belief that she can dominate men.

    Such women only pray on weak men, no woman will ever be able to dominate a real man.
     
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  20. Jonnyb4

    Jonnyb4 Fapstronaut

    Well that's a rather opinionated and aggressive stance, sorry. I disagree with you. Women can be dominant. Men can be submissive. In the sense of a relationship between two people anyway.

    Agreed, in the strict sense of femdom (humiliation etc) then the woman logically would continue to move from man to man to keep getting her own dopamine rush I guess.
     
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