Is having sex considered cheating in nofap?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DanRan, Apr 5, 2017.

  1. DanRan

    DanRan Fapstronaut

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    Hi all

    Just wondering if it would be considered cheating as I joined to get over my porn addiction to rejevinate my sex life as I had desensitised myself to a point where I wouldn't cum during sex.

    Had a one night stand last night and to my surprise I came. This has probably made me more happier than anything as I was starting to get worried.
     
  2. PieLover

    PieLover Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion (and I can't highlight this enough), sex with a partner isn't considered cheating. Sex is a totally natural thing. Actually I do believe it should be part of the rehabilitation. But what you should be aware of is, the ramifications of it and the fantasies it might trigger.
    Good luck :)
     
  3. DanRan

    DanRan Fapstronaut

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    Actually my head has been clearer since. I actually have no withdrawals before and after. It's been about 30 days NoFap and I can honestly say that it was good to have normal sex where we both cum. It's so satisfying and it was good to not have to explain why it didn't happen.

    Just in case anyone is wondering. Sex lasted about 30 minutes, no firecracker moment, just how it should have been. Good luck everyone!
     
  4. orison

    orison Guest

    some would argue that sex removes all the benefits of nofap,
    sex is for procreation, and to do so for pleasure of it while also using a condom is just like fapping

    sex is better than porn and masturbation for sure but you will lose benefits of transmuting sperm into vital energy and lose benefits with abuse
     
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  5. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    That's wonderful! It sounds like NoFap is really helping your sex life. And it sounds like before it there were sexual problems and then when you had sex after some NoFap time, you DIDN'T have those problems and could enjoy the sex much more! So, there's a big, big incentive to stick with NoFap for you!
     
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  6. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    To me personally I'd say NO, it's not cheating, with one caveat:
    There are several NoFap modes including hard mord (or no PMO) and normal mode (or no PM). If you are doing hard/no PMO mode and you have sex, yes, it's cheating and you need to reset and start over, reset your days, it's a relapse. If you are doing normal male/no PM mode, it's NOT a relapse and you don't need to reset your days. Some people have "chaser" effect after sex when they want to relapse. So, beware you may get that and stay strong.
    I DON'T see sex as the same as masturbation although I understand why some people do. But even in casual sex there can I believe be INTIMACY. Intimacy is something you do NOT have in masturbation. So no I don't see it as a relapse, unless you are in hard mode. It MAY take us longer to reboot in our normal/no PM mode but it's a personal choice and there are pluse and minuses for both ways. So, yay! Enjoy the sex and stick to NoFap!
     
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  7. djmotion

    djmotion Fapstronaut

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    I get seriously worried about this cause I usually last 20-60 mins and worried that if I have sex after a while of NoFap, sex might not last long and the girl will be disappointed so hopefully I'll still be able to last a while :)
     
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  8. djmotion

    djmotion Fapstronaut

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    I would agree that it's definitely cheating if someone is doing hard-mode but I don't think they should fully reset their days, I'm doing hard-mode for the moment but when I eventually do have sex I'll just keep the same date and change it to PM instead otherwise they would be deleting their no PM streak by fully resetting the days.
     
    Tesslynne likes this.
  9. Not cheating
     
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  10. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Exactly, having sex with a person is the real thing as it should be encouraged in being part of your rehabilitation. But it's good you're getting pleasure from a person than from Porn and Masturbation.
     
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  11. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    That is what I am aiming for too. To get my pleasure from a person rather than from porn and masturbation. Now porn and masturbation may be a LOT more accessible! Even for Fapstronauts with a partner. But it's not a real person. And we're not getting that intimacy sex can bring. I keep having to TELL MYSELF this, BELIEVE me!
     
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  12. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, porn distorts views of sex and relationships, as well realities and fantasies. For many people who regularly watch porn, they get a perspective that this is what happens when people have sex. More often that not, they don't separate fact and fiction.
     
  13. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    I nearly started a thread about this topic.
    Like I said, for me it's NOT porn but sex chat and erotica but it's escalated. But also I think that it has effed up my perspectives on sex, love, men, women, I really REALLY do. It has GOTS to GO!
     
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  14. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I've come to think something similar. The desire for sex [and notice how we take about it in its physical component stripped of all context] is, ideally, the desire for a person. You will enjoy physical, emotional, and spiritual satisfaction when you join together as persons as opposed to the sheer animal act. This just impoverishes both sex and ourselves. Casual copulation actually does a lot of emotional harm to people, and it then becomes a vicious circle. Sure, you are with a real person, but that person is more like a body.... you are not really engaging emotionally at the personal level. There is a whole process of flirtation and courtship that makes this possible. Check out this video for a rational view of it, from the 50 minute mark on [and at 1hr 45 a discussion on pornography]:

     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2017
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  15. arrow26

    arrow26 Fapstronaut

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    I think you shouldn't worry about this... :) It is ok :)
     
  16. Peter Yorks

    Peter Yorks Fapstronaut

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    I was very wary about this too and the chaser effect. Thankfully this hasnt come along and I've found sex with partner is much more satisfying. Just don't let your mind wander during sex and stay in the moment. Good luck!!
     
  17. I second with what he said. Sex IS natural. We should be doing it
     
  18. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    Sex is only cheating if you do hard mode. If you're not doing hard mode then you're fine.
     
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  19. arrow26

    arrow26 Fapstronaut

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    Well, something like that :)
     

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