So I suffer from a lot of certain sexual ocd’s hocd, etc. sometimes I arousal test out of anxiety to make sure that I am not aroused to something. is this a relapse? I don’t want to get horny, I just feel the need to make sure I’m not aroused to something that I don’t want to be.
In my experience - fantasizing does not get in the way of rebooting. I fantasized regularly throughout my two successful runs, and managed to cure my PIED just fine within 60 days. Could I have done it in less time had I refrained from fantasizing? Possibly. But policing my mind in that way is far too great a chore, and not something I see myself doing for any long stretch of time. YMMV, naturally.
A relapse is anything that goes against your personal recovery plan. It doesn't violate "No pmo", this would only be a setback if you're trying to be on a monk mode type thing and eliminate any type of fantasizing altogether. https://nofap.com/faq/what-is-a-porn-addiction-relapse/ might be helpful.
No, it's not a relapse. Just stay cool and stop creating those mental images. Those hocd thoughts are just fucked up thoughts, just ignore them. You are straight, because the thought of being with a man disgusts you. If you were gay, you would be comfortable with being gay, but you are not, so nothing to worry about. Porn induced you those fucked up thoughts, just stay away from that bullshit and they will go away.
