Is it a relapse? I seriously hate my life...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by saddist_adult, Oct 10, 2022.

  1. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    I was watching a girl dancing on TikTok like big booty whatever that was challenge... Then i bumped into one girl she was dressed up nice and start rubbing her butt while dancing... I just scrolled away since i felt like it just too sexual...
    It's not even nudity but i felt like a relapsed...

    After that i felt like shit, anxiety etc... Perhaps i was relapsed?

    (Whatever I'm watching is according to my own rules and goals. But when it comes too extreme i tend to avoid at must. )
     
  2. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    A reset or relapse is subjective to each person. It depends what problem(s) or addiction(s) you are trying to recover from. What are your specific goals in recovery, per se? Knowing that, anything that contradicts any one of those recovery goals is a reset/relapse for you.
     
    elvagoazul likes this.
  3. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    My goals is just bikini are allow, so anything more sexually, i must not involved in it... And this case hurts my brain ngl
     
  4. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    Also it's nothing too sexual or nudity just her dancing then rubbing her butt...
     
  5. Just a question, but why are you even on Tik Tok? There is nothing good on that shit heap of an app.
     
    Meshuga and johny_533 like this.
  6. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    Well, my goal isn't much strict since i understand the fact you can't avoid porn completely, to reduce the triggered i must set up a goals, so, bikini are allow but anything more than that is just a NO. By that after this incident pretty sure going to delete the app. As well I'm feeling shit right now can't even go to work....
     
  7. Please I beg you to watch this video.



    This is something I believe all the guys and girls in our age group should be watching very carefully.
     
    johny_533 likes this.
  8. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    Yea man thank you so much for this. I'm definitely going to delete... But also would consider my case a relapse? I'm literally can't do anything right now...
     
  9. Did you do it once? or more than once?
     
  10. If once, I would not consider it to be a relapse, if more than once most definitely a relapse.
     
  11. saddist_adult

    saddist_adult Fapstronaut

    77
    29
    18
    Actually i just scrolled away after caught myself off guard... the way she rubbed instinct kick me that not good then scroll immediately. After that i quit since
     
  12. elvagoazul

    elvagoazul Fapstronaut

    205
    286
    63
    You did the right thing. I dont think it was a relapse, but it was like walking on thin ice, you could fall at any time. Maybe rather than ask if this was a relapse you should ask why you are exposing yourself to this kind of content.
    Feeleng anxious is normal when the brain remeber the addiction, You just need an activity to clear your mind.
     
  13. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    1,417
    2,313
    143
    These guys are telling you it's not relapse and I agree. First of all, if it were anything it'd be a reset. A relapse is where you go a little nuts and make a sustained, conscious decision to binge for a few days. A reset is where you encounter a trigger that carries you away, you do some combination of P, M, and/or O, but you're still in the fight. Either way, you encountered a trigger, you ran away from it, you're fine.

    All of that said, watching women dancing on TikTok is playing with fire. I recognize you're within your parameters, but in my experience, long term success isn't about getting as close to the line as you can while staying legal. For me and many others, it's about not seeking anything remotely sexual. Now, sexual stuff is just out there. Sometimes it shows up in places you don't expect. Sometimes people aren't even trying to be sexual, but we experience it that way because we've been brainwashed by P. It's not a relapse, or even a reset, when we go along life and see a bikini, or a tight set of pants. But intentionally spending time in places where we know we'll probably see something our brain will interpret as sexual, that's shady behavior.
    As for TikTok and other social media as a whole, I've found life to be better without them, the NoFap application just one reason and not the biggest. Social media is very easy to pick up and spend a few minutes on. It seems so harmless. All of them are designed to keep you clicking and seeking, though, to capture you on the site. Not necessarily all in one stretch, but to keep you returning, keep you invested, and it's mostly useless. Wasted time. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure it's not good for your brain. I accomplish more and feel better about myself when I don't use it, and I'm not even exposed to the drama that unfolds on those platforms. Just reading the headlines burrows under your skin, it makes you want to argue and form an opinion and check that thing out and it's all a waste. The amount of information I get to actually support myself in my values is minimal. So, no Tiks or Toks, no YouTube, no IG, definitely no Twitter, and Facebook can die in a fire as far as I'm concerned. None of those for me anyway. You do what you want, but I strongly suspect you'd find a more fulfilling life without them, and deal with people in the real instead. I know I have.

    The hell is a "Big Booty Challenge" anyway? Either the booty is big or it isn't, and it doesn't even matter. There's no challenge. Running three miles in 21 minutes, that is a challenge. Making 10 three pointers in a row, that's a challenge. Even getting doused by icy water is a challenge, but simply having a large derriere? Why? Why not a large knee, or a large bicep, or a large nose or second left toe? I'll tell you why, it's because it's sexual.

    Or maybe I've been brainwashed by P.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2022
    elvagoazul likes this.
  14. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

    908
    1,208
    123
    Whether it's some chick twerking on tiktok or some pornstar getting banged, it's still the same thing going on in your head. The caveman part of your brain sees a sexually available woman and revs up the engines, you become aroused and dopamine is pumping through your brain. I really don't see the difference between any of this crap and for that reason will never accept the "p-sub" lie that guys tell themselves.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2022
  15. As much as I hate YouTube as a company, there are still some good things on it. I mostly watch gaming related videos and music. Other than that not really anything else.
     
  16. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    1,417
    2,313
    143
    It's not all straight garbage. I've gotten some great insights from content on YouTube. As a whole, though, I found myself going there to waste time, not to get anything specific, and I usually got what I came for. There's a way to use it correctly, and a way to abuse it. For me and my brain, it's better to just draw a hard line and say no. I'll go if I need to know something, I don't go to browse.
     
  17. A fraction of the time I will go to YouTube to waste time, but for the most part, I mostly use it for music, movie and gaming related stuff.
     
  18. @Meshuga

    I also get that video games are not always helpful for you, but from my perspective it's one of the few bastions of entertainment that can completely shut my brain off. Can't watch Cable TV anymore, Or pro-sports, even SNL is getting to be bland. I feel unmotivated to go to theatres to watch movies anymore unless I am absolutely certain it is a great movie. Like Top Gun: Maverick. Other than that, I am just trying to find more hobbies and things I like as opposed to trying to find ways to entertain myself. Without relying on modern anti-tainment.
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  19. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    1,417
    2,313
    143
    I’m taking a jujitsu class. I went blues dancing last weekend. In another thread they’re talking about Warhammer 40K. I have a buddy who is into survival preparedness, not the extreme “build an untraceable shelter in Wyoming” kind, just the “know how to get by & be physically fit” kind. I know a few people who are way into D&D. My sister is a DJ, it’s why I was dancing the other night, and she spends a lot of time tracking down really good music. Way better than the repetitive, formulaic pop jingles the algorithms thrust in our faces. I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking, and a sister-in-law has taken up baking. I also read and write fiction, so I could spin a rationale for how any of these could be deeply invaluable and symbolic of some root psychological need, performed with modern sensibilities.

    I don’t offer these as suggestions, though you could take them that way. You don’t have to be into the things I and my friends are into, there’s paintball, astronomy, performance cars, CrossFit, historical studies, knitting, sailing. Or Destiny 2. Anything is better than the mindless outrage of political reaction, culture wars, reality tv, and the illusion of mate seeking through IG thirst traps, dating apps, and of course, P.
     
  20. You know, I am actually also interested in survivalism, mostly for phyisical fitness and also paintball. But as you mentioned not the type that involves building untraceable shelters because that involves firearms, and I have played enough FPS games and watched too many action movies with gratuitus violence in them to realize I should not be trusted with a firearm (despite that I actually don't support gun control to be honest.) I am also interested in Dungeons and Dragons too. Despite not having anyone to play that game with. I am very interested in Warhammer 40k though. I am also interested in taking up some guitar and making my own music soon just haven't had the time lately because of school and work. I am no chef, but I do a pretty good job of cooking anything that can be grilled. I also have a lot of interest in historical things, cars and building and upgrading computers. Not sure what crossfit its but it sounds interesting. Don't think I could get into Destiny 2 Though I liked the first one, but I have heard a lot of bad things about the second one.
     

Share This Page