Is it just me?

I am hoping to see if my mother's boyfriend is faking his kindness towards me.

When in public, especially when she is around, he is kind and acknowledges my presence as if I am her to an extent: treats me well, speaks to me, etcetera. But, in private when we are alone he always tries to leave and do something else without being near me. When he arrives at the house, especially today as an example, not even a few hours past and I tell him she is not in. He will say 'I'll call her and try to walk up to her' even when he comes into the house he becomes fidgety, then becomes nervous and finds ways to leave. When I talk to him, he breaks eye contact no matter how short the conversation stands, he walks off mid-conversation too and loses interest, there are other aspects but I cannot recall.

This is a vent and a seek for approval that I might or might not be right. After the third month of meeting him I noticed thee occurrences, now it has been half a year they are ever more clear.

 

Try imagining you’re dating a woman and you are also in the presence of her 20 year old son. Then imagine spending time with just her 20 year old son.

 

I'd hadn't pictured it in that light, but why does he not have the guts to try?

 

Probly is afraid of setting off your mom and creating drama . Sounds like he doesn't have much experience dating women who have older kids.

 

I could be that he is trying but just not up to your standards? Maybe you’re giving off a judgy vibe and that’s making him uncomfortable? In any case why does it matter? Is he disrespectful towards your mother? Does he treat her horribly? Does she complain about him being abusive? Is she unhappy?

I mean it’s not like you’re 7 years old, so the guy doesn’t have to try and get a long with you or be your buddy. You’re both grown men; He can not be your friend and be a good boyfriend to your mom.

 

He does. His late wife has four children who are 30+

 

hmm well that's more info , I really think you should talk to him man to man without your mom around and straigting out any misunderstandings you or him have