Is it possible to go from submissive to dominant?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by kriss93, Jul 26, 2016.

  1. Sleeping_Beauty

    Sleeping_Beauty Fapstronaut

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    It sounds like you are assuming two people can't be dominant and submissive together and have a real connection. If you learn about D/s, for a lot of people the connection is exactly the reason why they engage in it (and the opportunity to express their true selves). Porn often portrays domination and submission in such a dehumanizing light, but that's not the reality for everyone who practices it.
     
  2. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your input. Personally I cannot imagine being either dominant or submissive. Bondage for example has the same sexual effect on me as mayonnaise.
    And I just hoped the OP would take it slow instead of trading in one extreme fetish for another.
     
  3. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    I don't really get the point in your last sentence man :D
     
  4. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    It's ok.
     
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  5. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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  6. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Elnayeeeek. This article motivates me a lot!!! I hope I will earn the fully state which that guy earned.
     
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  7. iRebootMyself

    iRebootMyself Fapstronaut

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    You are welcome :)
     
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  8. I think that we focus too much on being "dominant" or "submissive." A lot of pornographic depictions have people in one role or the other. In reality, every person, encounter, relationship, and moment is different.

    Maybe with detox and a bit of open-mindedness, we'll all be happy playing whatever role we want to be at the moment. Actually, I dislike that last statement. See how I used the word "role?" We're too quick to classify things. The more we read about roles, the more we train ourselves to believe that you're one flavor or the other: dominant or submissive; masculine or feminine; straight or gay. Yes, even that last one: sexuality is a spectrum - an orientation - not a one-off label.

    Why do we *like* roles? They're easier to fall into. It takes less courage and thought to act as a pre-made class than to act in the moment.

    Sure, you can act dominant. I say let go of the idea of "changing" into a dominant from a submissive. When you feel a dominant urge: take it. With time, you may grow to enjoy these behaviors. They can naturally develop.
     
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  9. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    You seem to be contradicting yourself. I don't understand that last sentence I bolded at all?


    Anyway to OP. Don't listen to these guys telling you this is natural and an OK safe behavior.

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/group/msm/ over 20% of gay men in America have HIV! Being gay cuts the average life span by far more than smoking does.

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/group/gender/transgender/

    Transgenders have even greater HIV rates.

    Bottoming is how you catch HIV! It is by far the number one way to contract HIV!! Not needles, but bottoming [ receptive anal] Nothing safe about it!


    That sissy crap is a mental illness. I don't know if you got into femdom but it's a huge part of that fetish. When I was younger [ not on the interent] a lot of very disgusting sick man-hating feminist girls thought it was funny to feminize guys and they would get them to do gay stuff and try to feminize them. There are a lot of destructive influences out there. Sex addictions can warp your brain and it will lead you down a path of destruction.

    This whole " I might be gay" thing is a ludicrous lie! You're at least in your twenties I assume and supposedly now your wondering if your gay?. You've messed yourself up or been messed up by others and now you're having these "feelings" but you can get over them and make them go away. Don't know how many times I've seen the whole "your gay" thing used on young naive men and boys by sex predators.

    No one was meant to be a sissy! You think your orientation is that of some damaged goods whore? That's no woman either! You were not meant to get HIV or to be used by people. Your sick man, and you have to get over this before it kills you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2016
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  10. A spectrum is a continuous distribution, definition two. Sexuality is on a spectrum.

    Your sexual orientation is an inclination. It's a tendency. Straight people tend to be attracted to the opposite gender. Homosexuals tend towards the same gender. You can prefer one gender and still be attracted to another, and that is because sexuality is fluid.

    My post is about people's hastiness in constructing labels and then believing that these ideas were innate in nature. They're not. My post was in support of the OP, stating that he should feel comfortable with expressing himself in a more dominant manner, and that he should lift the stigma of one label or another from himself.

    From your previous post, where you claim that transsexuality is a mental disorder, we disagree. You're wrong by many modern standards. I have no wish to debate with you. I gave my support.
     
  11. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    It's not the "definition two" that I posted. Here is another source http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/spectrum

    None of those mean " continuous distribution" and certainly not your definition of flowing and changing. Instead, they mean consistency something that isn't changing. A continuous sequence. Not that "continuous distribution" really says what you were trying to say either.

    I wasn't sure if you meant something different than what your post seemed to say, but you just are using a word improperly thinking it has a meaning that it doesn't. Kind of confusing, though. I think this is where you get your idea from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexuality_spectrum

    ^ but again doesn't have the meaning you gave.

    I think I said " that sissy crap is a mental disorder" not what you claimed I said in bold. You seem to like telling how it is. Apparently, the people who "construct" labels are wrong about these things being innate, and I'm wrong about" transsexuality being a mental disorder "[I said "sissy crap". But isn't transsexuality a label? You contradict your claim about "labels" because according to you "transsexuality apparently is innate and not flowing like heterosexuality?

    I gave OP facts about sexually transmitted diseases for transsexuals and gay men and told him that bottoming is the #1 way to contract HIV. I gave a link to CDC [ center for disease control and prevention] to verify what I said. I also shared my opinion that I have from my own experiance about how badly sex addictions can mess with your mind.

    You're telling someone to just go with the flow when they just said in a previous post how horrible this act makes them feel. As well I'm sure you know how dangerous this sexual practice is! Yet you are encouraging it.

    P.S

    Also, if you could explain what a "one-off label" is I would appreciate it. All I can find on Google is "off label" and it doesn't' mean anything like your usage of the phrase.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2016
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  13. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    I thought you were referring to my previous post on this page were I said "sissy crap" about an hour ago. Not a post from over 3 days ago. My mistake.
     
  14. Jodo Kus

    Jodo Kus Fapstronaut

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    why are so many guys are worried about their or somebody else's manliness? What is this "sissy"-thing? I don't get it.

    Why ranting about the nature and lifestyle of others? Let's face it: we are addicted. And our addiction changes our sexual and social behavior !
    We're neglecting important things in life !

    Be careful not to confuse real sexual orientation issues with the porn you watch. I watch 100% straight porn. What would happen if I trained myself to watch more and more bi and then gay porn? My brain would learn that it can get the same dopamine-rush from gay porn as from straight. I would fantasize not only about women but also about men. But I wouldn't even bother to go out and have real gay sex, because HSIP is just what my brain needs.

    If we quit porn, or control and reduce it at least, we will be able to neglect less things in the social, sexual and all the other areas of life.

    As a man, I don't need to crave for domination. I can be dominant just the right way with all I've got.
     
  15. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    Yes, there are pro-porn feminists for exactly that reason
     
  16. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

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    Because unmanly men drag other men down and inflate women's egos
     
  17. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    If spend all your time wanking to and thinking about women it's quite possible you might start thinking they are better than you. Then you have POV Femdom porn and Goddess worship porn which is all about feminism [man-hating feminism]
     
  18. Bob2132

    Bob2132 Fapstronaut

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    This whole "dom / sub" thing has everything to do with porn fantasy and nothing to do with real life. In real life relationships there are no "doms" and "subs." these concepts have absolutely no bearing on reality. This stuff only exists in porn and among fetishists who are brainwashed/controlled by porn.

    Snap out of it man!!! your thinking is being clouded by porn and masturbation.
     
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