Is it really an improvement now that I'm wanting to bed real women?

It's probably an improvement but the important thing is to stop fantasising. As soon as you notice yourself doing it, stop. You may need to leave the room, have a shower, whatever, just stop fantasising!

It took me a long time to realise this.

 

pornography means "pictures of whores." Going to a massage parlor to employ a sex worker is the same thing or deeper mentally. Porn programs you brain and body to seek sex outside of a real human relationship, to harness your natural sexuality to unnatural pornographic embodiments of women or men whose only purpose is to gratify your needs sexually. Without rejection is to say without life.'

This whole course and your fantasies about your friend you had sex with are part of the way you dehumanize yourself and dehumanie others, the way that love and friendship and natural sexuality seem to be something absent and estrainged for your life. You need to get clean from the whole deal, from transferring porn mind set thoughts and masturbation on porn onto a rea woman. You do not seem to think of a sexual relationship as part of your real life or interaction with people.

You need to stay away from it all and allow your body to detox. You need to find a way to work on why you think you cannot have viable friendshps with women and probably wth men. I would bet you spend too much time on the computer or by yourself. You need to get help from a therapist from friends and from whomever you can to see your way to a completely healthy life where all of this is thrown into the toilet where it belongs, and you feel you can build the sexual side of your life around healthy human relationships''

I can bet that the key of this is developing a positive view of yourself. Not as a super man or woman, not as a star, but just as an ordinary human being who deserves love and friends, but also not as a taker who wants love or sex, but as a giver who contributes to making the world a good place and making people feel affirmed in their humanity when they interact with him

Stay away from massage parlors. That s worse than porn and the same thing. Stay away from porn. Get your head from being wrapped around this one woman and look at the way you are not letting yourself live and breathe and contribute as a regular human being.

get help

 

fantasizing about real women along the same lines as porn is the same thing. fantasizing about porn is the same thing

FACE IT YOU are bent and warped and mangled by being into porn ad these fantasies. You spent deep time and money getting into it, wrapping your life around it. YOU DID THAT.

It can take a healthy person MONTHS to untangle the way you have trained your mind, the chemical components of your brain, the sexual components of your body to demand these twisted things that hurt you and will cut you off from healthy sexual relationships with women, and a healthy positive view of yourself

YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM ALL OF IT. You need to accept that the key thing for you is to DETOX your body and mind from all this crap, that you need to recover from the addiction first to think straight to live straight.
'
You have to stop trying to to weasel your way back into it.

You spent all this time and money getting twisted. It will take total hard work for a bunch of time to get untwisted.

Jiving around the fringes of ths stuff by having porno fantasies, by having fantasies like porn about real women, or anything else but getting clean is just the addiction and messed up ways coming back in and trying to say you are getting clean when the sickness is pushing you to stay filthy and messed up.

Don't think that you can do this without revaluating your whole life, your health, your work or education, your moral or spiritual or philosophical work.

You did all this work to get messed up with the monkey of all the porno and sexism in this society on your back. You will need more work and more time to get clean. FACE IT

 

"fantasizing real women" is not an abstract question to talk about in regard to how it abstractly sits in society or for anyone, fantasing real women for someone who has been managled by porn, or who wants life without rejection like you, is a way of wrecking yourself of cntinuing the sickness.

Now I have been into ths sickness for decades. I did meet real women who were just as managled as I and totally willing to realize my fantasies. Every single one that got me that far I later discovered or later told me that they were seriously mentally ill, I mean psychotic.

Your brain and body are wrecked and clouded and managled. Stay away from anything, get healthy that takes time more than 3X days. And it takes RETHINKING, not just finding a new angle to get turned on by porn like fantasies or trying to act like porn can be real life

GET straight a long time change your thinking!

 

u r definitely improving a lot......
congratulations.

"""the thought of the option being open gives me comfort """ this statement definitely need to understand clearly.
bad options is not a option .

 

Don't Fantasize, It will eventually lead you to PMO .

 

You are not living your life but a fantasy because your life isnt good. Massage parlor prostitute even this girl are outside your real life. What do you offer? What do you share? What do you give? What does this crap have to do with real life as people live it, with your struggle to find a job, with how you survive?

fantasizing is focusing on non life, or saying you do not have it in yourself to survive and enjoy and contribute to real life, so you run away to an easy fantasy, except the sexual and intellectual part of it blinds you to relating to your own life.

You do not need new fantasies, you need to feel good about life. When make a fantasy it is the opposite of making and meeting friends and finding a lover in your life. The fantasy is totally a function of you, it is the lonely world of just you, it is surrendering to the fact you cannot make it in the real world.

give it up and dive into the real world. Look at your life beyond sex and fantasy and this girl. What are you putting into it. What do you give? how are you losing the attractiveness you need in life. Are you gettng away with this because you are away from the world?

Try to give up the crap and dive into the struggle of real lifed