Is it sex addiction?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by KASE1228, Jul 31, 2020.

  1. kaia

    kaia Fapstronaut NoFap Defender

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    I am completely appalled at the treatment from some of you guys. Holy shit.
     
  2. KASE1228

    KASE1228 Fapstronaut

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  3. KASE1228

    KASE1228 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing your story with me!
     
    Purpleurkle likes this.
  4. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    I got this information out of her posts and the way she treats forum members, who don't play her game. There are certain well known patterns people with experience recognize, including plotting against someone and their relatives like it happens on this thread and the other one you participate in. You are completely oblivious to it and completely fell for it. That's not your fault.

    I actually know a case (that's why I recognize the patterns), where the husband managed to get out of it and divorced the narcissist from high school again - who also tried to brainwash him into believing that he has all kinds of disorders "needing her help". (The person contacted me to help her with that, which is how I got into the case.) After I helped her victim out of the trap, he reunited with his first family, actually remarried and lived happily ever after. No disorders to be found by professionals. That story ended with a restraint order for the narcissist and the family actually moving into a different state to finally get away from the possessed person.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2020
  5. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    The husband just needs to show up on this forum. But that's a last thing narcissist wifes want: contacting the people who they talk about behind their backs to plot against them.
     
  6. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    You're watching too many telenovelas, my man...

    Nobody really knows what you are referring to, either, but we are forced to assume you were camouflaged in some bush outside their house for 10+ years, since you know more about their relationship than probably even they do.

    Most of us, on the other hand, see a woman who tries to keep her family together (thats what women do when family fathers wank uncontrollably). Call it narcissism; I'd call it survival mode.
     
  7. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    I have a background in law enforcement. I know these cases which usually end up in domestic violence and murder investigations. Prevention is part of law enforcement it as well. Nothing in this story adds up, like raising the three daughters of an ex-wife. As if these daughters wouldn't stay with the ex-wife

    Whatever you call it: The difference between helping and harming someone is the same as with having sex: the consent. "Helping" someone against his will is a crime.

    If someone on this forum admits harming themselves or others this becomes a real investigation case. The people involved are going to looked up if they are alive and well and if they actually need help by professionals.

    Before someone goes on a delete spree: This forum software doesn't delete any postings, it just hides them from public view for law enforcement to access the evidence.
     
  8. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    KASE1228. I'm so sorry you have to read stupid comments like star riders. None of this is your fault whatsoever. .. AT ALL. You didn't force him to do the things he did to hurt you, and to make you feel unloved.
    Saying that. Also, if he decides to not put the work into his recovery or if he stays in his addiction. This isn't your fault at all either. The only thing you have control over is your recovery. And getting yourself to a better place for your child.

    -God , grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ( his addiction, and how he recovers or if he sticks with it )
    - the courage to change the things I can ( YOUR recovery. )
    - and the wisdom to know the difference.

    I wish you luck in your recovery KASE1228.
    And I wish him luck in his as well
     
  9. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Nope, it's her fault alone to marry him, even after he already had someone else. She could left him alone after high school and she would be fine now. She is a 41 years old adult woman, not a damsel in distress.

    It's not his duty to make her "feel loved" (and he never did love her anyway). He had three children with another woman and his job as a husband is done with that. He is not obliged to entertain someone left over from high school after that.

    The guy your talking about behind his back doesn't have any addiction. He might have a fidelity issue, but that's her fault. I mean he for sure cheated his first wife with her. What do you expect after marrying someone like that? That he stops, because you're so special?

    That's what I said the whole time, but that she doesn't want to hear. She wants to manipulate someone else against his will and you all happily simp into this.
     
  10. Lord Pickles

    Lord Pickles Fapstronaut

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    I am noticing some really unhelpful people in this thread. Now I know, some of you maybe pissed at the lady's decisions but blaming her does not help! The past is the past. We only have control over the future. She came here for advice and not to be judged. That is why Nofap was created in the first place. It was created to help people! not judge them.

    KASE1228, I am really sorry for whats happening in your life ma'am. And its not your fault. First of all get your children to a safer place. Stay with them and support them. Secondly, please try to have a deep discussion about this with your husband. Persuade him to become a better person. Try your best. If you try everything and it doesnt work out, unfortunately divorce would be the best course of action. From my life experience, I have learned that there are men that CAN be changed and then there are men that can NEVER be changed. I hope this helped. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2020
    KASE1228 likes this.
  11. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Reporting for what? Giving advice someone doesn't like?
     
  12. Lord Pickles

    Lord Pickles Fapstronaut

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    You're not giving advice, you're giving blame. Blame makes things worse.
     
  13. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    I don't think you can judge that as a 16 years old. What are you doing in a thread about marriage problems of a 40something anyway? Do you really believe you can provide useful advice as a teenager? What is the "life experience" you're talking about? Middle school?
     
  14. Lord Pickles

    Lord Pickles Fapstronaut

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    goodbye. You win.
     
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  15. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    You have more wisdom in spite of your age. Don’t let him bother you, not worth it.
     
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  16. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    That must be why he needs you to jump to the rescue like his mum.
     
  17. Purpleurkle

    Purpleurkle Fapstronaut

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    Jesus Christ dude just shut up. How can a man who's so into 'self improvement' be so bitter? Is your addiction really so bad that the only way you feel good about yourself is to put down someone who's come to this forum for help? Regardless of whether or not your brain is twisted enough to believe what you're saying, what do you hope to gain from saying it? 'im just trying to help her see it from a different angle'. Man shut the f up, no one cares what you have to say, you sad little man. Fix your life before trying to give others advice
     
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  18. Purpleurkle

    Purpleurkle Fapstronaut

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    Looking through your post history, you clearly have a lot of issues to sort out. Maybe go out for a walk or try to make some real friends. It's like you've replaced porn with being a dick on a forum about masturbating. Gain some self awareness. Jesus just reading what you post makes me so sad that someone can have such an obviously fake and fragile confident front
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  19. Purpleurkle

    Purpleurkle Fapstronaut

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    Holy shit, you're 38? That's just depressing. I assumed there was a sexually frustrated teenager behind the nonsense you spout. Christ..
     
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  20. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Hey, nice to meet you too. That's your usual way to greet people?

    You seem to have the same issue as the OP. 16 years from now you will look like her with the same problems, if you don't overhaul your attitude.

    Your assumption that people on a sex addiction forum are "sexually frustrated" is kinda amusing. Nobody on this forum subscribes to that theory. Everyone is convinced that moderation is the key to success. The amount of moderation is on debate, naturally.

    However there is a certain breed here, who is frustrated, because controlling their husbands with sex doesn't work anymore. He usually gets his fix elsewhere and doesn't give a fuck about her.

    And there is the basic misunderstanding: That is his rightful choice. If he sees a problem in that domain, he is going to fix it on his own. In this day and age by law the requirement of consent expands into marriage. That means anything regarding manipulating the spouse into sexual intercourse they don't want, goes into the domain of rape and means she gets prosecuted.

    We have no-fault divorce and if the husband doesn't want to bang her anymore and prefers to look at a screen with younger and hotter chicks instead, that's his free choice and she cannot force him into something else, because if the topic touches sex, it's actionable behavior.
     

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