is it that hard

Try working out and transmutate that sexual energy where needed like studying or your hobby's the first 30 days are hard but it will get easy from there.

 

If you look at my first post on my log I reference an exercise which has helped me a TON....

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/lets-do-this-90-day-thing.240882/

Also, another thing that has helped me is to become aware of the urges, and tell myself, okay, if I still have this urge in 3 hours I'll follow through with it, and more often than not, i weather the "Storm" of the urge, and in the next few hours the urge doesn't have the same "grip" on me as before...

Trust me, I know full well how urges just completely take over your mind, envelope every cell of your body and you want nothing more than to follow through on the urge, but just feel it fully, become aware that what this is telling you has been genetically programed in evolution and isn't necessarily true...

My advice would be to do the Exercise that I referenced in my first post on my log, and also to simply defer for a few hours, weathering the storm and prove to yourself that the urges come and go, but YOU don't... also don't EVER beat yourself up for failing,... the sex urge is the strongest urge in human existence,... simply do something simple to reaffirm your goal of where you want to be when you fail.

I wish you the best.

 

when the urges come... go for a long (I mean LONG) walk and listen to a good podcast, or go for a bicycle ride. It will help you clear up your mind.

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH URGES V1.0

There are many ways to deal with urges (this will be long since I am bad at being concise). Also this is a bit old and I believe purpose is the main key but here it is.

First of all, make sure that you don’t let yourself enter the middle ground, the place where you are contemplating whether you should fap or not, since this 90% of the time leads to a relapse.

This can be done by rejecting all sexual thought or physical stimulation. Often sexual though leads to the middle ground if you don’t identify and stop it immediately.

Secondly, if you get in the middle ground, just get out. It’s pretty difficult but the best strategy is literally to walk away. However, this might be hard to deal with at bedtime, which leads to the next few points.

Write down why you want to complete nofap. We all have or reasons, and you can check mine on my profile page.

Use the delay tactic. You just tell yourself, I want to fap(or do you?), but I’m going to delay myself X amount of days because I want to see what I’ll feel like then, or something. This tactic is pretty sweet, as it forms a sort of experimental mindset in nofap. However, if done incorrectly, it can lead to situations where you desperately delay yourself a day by telling yourself you’ll just fap tomorrow, and the urge lingers to that day, and you fap.

Fifth, make an urge routine. This is a routine you do whenever you feel you have an urge(remember previous points, try not to get an urge in the first place). It could include reading your reasons why you want to do nofap, watching nofap videos, reading success/failure stories on this forum, reading religious texts, texting a friend, listening to music, reading old journal entries from relapses(I highly recommend you journal on a regular basis). Just anything to get you back on track and stop you from pmo’ing.

It also helps to identify causes and situations that lead to you fapping. For example, studying. You can then develop solutions to these, by studying at a public place like a library for example.

Stay in public places where you interact and see people a lot. Fapping is a habit that we wouldn’t proudly disclose with others. By staying in public, you are reminded of this, encouraging yourself to not masturbate.

Plus, write a letter from your future self who has completed x more days clean, sharing your future selfs awesome feelings and motivations. This can be very motivating to read when you have an urge.

In addition, have daily reminders that you read in the morning or throughout the day, that remind you of your reasons, how you must abstain from sexual thought, and other important things.

Lastly, get accountability partners. You guys can share nofap strategies and experiences. Having an accountability partner discourages relapsed since one feels like they must not “let the other down”. United we stand, divided we fall.

There’s also strategies like cold showers and stuff, but some people don’t like those. To summarize: 1. Don’t enter the middle ground. 2. Reject all sexual thought. 3. Just get out. 4. Write down reasons for doing nofap. 5. Make an urge routine. 6. Do regular journal entries and do letters from your future self. 7. Have daily reminders. 8. Get accountability partners.

If you find/know of any otherstrategies, please let me know! Enjoy!

 

Urges are strong and when they’re out of your control it’s not a question of how weak or strong you are. You aren’t weak at all for succumbing to the urges. Keep fighting and following the advice of the people above me. You can do this.