Is it wrong to not seek sex unless there is some deeper connection?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by NightReaper775, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

    I (22M) was talking about being a virgin with some of my friends. Good people, they gave me some advice.

    I said I was feeling weird because although I really want to have sex, I just can't get myself to go further (kissing for example) with girls I find kind of boring or not feel intimate enough with. They said it was all in my head, but I keep asking myself why would I seek sex in the first place, then? Just for the sexual thrill? They said I was fantasizing too much, but then, why focus on sex? Sex for the sake of sex is the kind of habit I want to avoid like I want to avoid PMO, or at least take it like something else.

    I feel pressured by society to enjoy, to have sex with as many girls as I can, to "enjoy my youth", but there is this other side of me that just wants to develop himself and seek different experiences than mere sex.

    Anyone feel the same or can give me some advice? Greetings.
    Hitto and ClassyKing like this.
  2. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

    I too am a virgin (24 years old). Ive had many chances to have sex with girls but I never did. Ive never kissed a girl either LOL. Yeah peer pressure is a thing. I havent done PMO in awhile. Ive had so many wet dreams and dry dreams. Lately ive been wanting to have "get it on" with real women I meet. I sometimes fantasize about it too. I met this one girl at work who was literally jumping on me touching me alot. I was getting interested but I found out she had a man and kids at home. My mother raised me with the values of not "messing" with women that have a boyfriend, husband, kids, etc. What I recommend is do what you honestly feel and not make a decision that is influenced/contolled by being damn horny LOL or peer pressure.
    Hitto and NightReaper775 like this.
  3. ClassyKing

    ClassyKing Fapstronaut

    I would try and take the pressure off of yourself a bit. You dont have to search for someone just for sex. The fact that you said you wouldn't do it with just any girl shows how much you care about a person for who they are, not just for their looks.

    Your sexual desire for sex is what is confusing you. I understand when your a virgin, it's hard to not listen to peer pressure, and your own bodies urges. Try and wait until you find the right person though, because you need to trust them enough for them to be your first. If you just do it with anyone, you might regret it later in life.
  4. NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

    Thanks a lot for your comments, but then, choosing to wait for a good (or better than average) person to lose my virginity to is not a problem? The part that shocked me was that they said I was being delusional about it and it's just fantasy.
  5. Sardonic

    Sardonic Fapstronaut

    I've never really been that bothered about sex (unsurprisingly I'm a virgin) and the reason, it took me a while to figure out, was that I found porn before I was a teenager. I always found someone to have a crush on, in order to stay grounded, if you can call it that... But I never acted upon any of these crushes until the last 3 or 4 years, and I still dont envision myself actively looking for sex because I genuinely don't think I'm ready, even if I am nearly 30. Only YOU can set your own pace.
    NightReaper775 likes this.
  6. Why is everyone so obsessed to losing their virginity nowadays ? Does it make you smarter? Or more succesful in life? Does it grant you money?
    To me virginity looks like a badge of honor..
    lackingabettername likes this.
  7. Theguywiththething

    Theguywiththething Fapstronaut

    Love and sex are separate things, only you choose how you explore those things. Wanting to wait until you have an intense connection with someone is just as valid a goal as setting a goal to get to 100 partners by age 30, as long as it is a choice you made.
  8. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    Yes I do I want to have a relationship that isn’t based of sex I’m looking for intimacy I haven’t pmoed for a yr and a half I too feel pressured to meet more women and start courting women. But I’m becoming more aware that all this pressure is self inflicted and living by the standards of society hasn’t gotten me this far so now I’m at the point of just taking action and putting myself out there and being more social.Specfically building more relationships with the opposite sex and not being concerned whether they will be my future wife or not lol Lol These are good realizations and it’s good that we aware of these feelings it will help lead us further on our journey know that people will continually question our lifestyle and that’s ok they don’t know what’s best for us only we do
    NightReaper775 likes this.

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