Is masturbating without porn okay?

I'm glad that some compassionate people are speaking up. This is the way a community establishes what is okay to say and what isn't. I'm not going to engage with any individuals who are here to persuade me or anyone else. I see this as a place to ask questions and compare ideas respectfully. Maybe go so far as to offer polite suggestions. I haven't read anywhere that this site is restricted to any one approach. Is it just to stop a single behavior, or to take a hard line and promote celibacy? Is it campaign against evil and uphold some version of purity? Who's truth is the truth? When someone goes so far as to say "I speak the truth", they have a responsibility to say "I speak MY truth".
A young person who comes here looking for help, answers or insight when they are struggling with an issue like this, one that we can't share with our family or friends, I believe that they will benefit from a model of objectivity, rather than dogma or prejudice. I've been around the block a few times, I can handle what a rude person says to me or about me, but I'd rather not. So give me a good reason to stay and participate. Thanks CasualMe and Adjoint.

 

Please don't leave, Fagdad. I know why it may appear to be a "F'd up website", there are a lot of self-righteous, judgemental and intransigent people posting at the moment. But although they post frequently, they are not in the majority. I assure you that you are very welcome here and this site is by and large very inclusive regardless of age, gender, sexual identity and orientation. But societal prejudices are bound to be reflected here from time to time. I have read many of your comments over the last week and I think you are doing well. I would hate to see you go and I feel very sorry that you have been made to feel unwanted: IGY

 

I agree with IGY. Please stay, Fagdad. There's a place for everyone at NoFap. I think that the core of the NoFap community it's compassion and comprehension, not about being judgmental, in spite of some users that might indicate otherwise.

I personally don't want to MO anymore because I can't control it, but if you can and if it's right for you, then do it.

For me being here is about achieving personal freedom, so you should be able to MO only when you really want to do it, and not because you use it to escape emotions (such as depression), as many of us have done or still do.

 

I too hope you stay fagdad as I've found some of your views very insightful, just as jmark's comments have helped get me through some rough times. What I find valuable about this community is the diversity of passionate viewpoints which means, yes, there will be heated arguments. But as long as we're thinking for ourselves, then we benefit even from points of view we strongly disagree with.

 

Fagdad, please think about staying. I've just read through your posts and I really like your thoughts on PMOing. I too wanted to rid myself of P. It's been a thirty year plus habit and whilst in the 70's there was a seeming innocence to it, i grew disillusioned with where we are today and the ever more graphic and brutal nature that P has taken. It's something that I don't want to be a part of. I don't have a problem with M-ing although I find that whilst I haven't been in the P world, I've had much less inclination to want to M. having said that, the last week or so and a new job has led to some stress and i nearly wavered - it was only thanks to some good people on here and their support that i chose not to relapse....

Hope you stay around. I think you can offer us all some sound advice.

 

It is very true what you say.
And I like the way you say it, you seem to have alot of experience and I would like to hear more from you about porn and masturbation. Just your opinion.

This is the first time seeing you on this site but by the way you speak I see no reason for you to leave because your comments are very helpful.

I'm not sure tho if "Thanks CasualMe" is meant as something bad or good. Didn't really get that part.

 

Don't leave Fagdad, this site is full of people like me and you. People who want to show their support and help others, in a respectful tone. I'm sure that the best way to help someone from this is to let them know how dangerous and destructive this is, but also to remind them off the great rewards that awaits everyone of us who succeed. Think of it, how nice will it be to feel animal spirits again? After all those years in darkness, how we will appreciate light even more. Like the blind person who finally can see again. How wonderful wont it be.

 

Yeah Casual You, That was a sincere thank you. I'm also really encouraged by everyone of you who took the time to reach out to someone (me) who expressed doubt about this community. I'm a little embarrassed actually, but I hope that everyone looks at it as an example of how support can be so powerful when its given in a respectful and compassionate way. Its not that hard to be careful with our words. Coming from different viewpoints is what makes the world go round, I don't want everyone to think the same way. Its good practice to be a better man if you take your time and try to see things from another's point of view without being forceful. I want a place to feel safe to express my fears and confusion even when they aren't popular. I feel more than welcome here now. I just hope I don't spend as much time doing this as I spent on PMO.

 

Dont worry, I think spending 3000 hours here equals 10 seconds of porn viewing, according to my calculations

 

Not true Clumsy. Spending 3000 hours here, or 3000 hours on porn is 3000 hours wasted either way in my books. Cheers

 

I'm not talking about time waste, I'm talking about brain damage. Lol.

 

You said 3000 hours on here equals 10 seconds of porn. Not true.

 

And you did not notice any sarcasm in my post, or? And I don't see this as pure time waste. It's actually very giving to be here, to support and give advice, but also to receive some great ideas.

 

Yes I agree, however when you begin to spend hours upon hours, posting in thread after thread, I personally believe it becomes time wasting. But obviously you see it differently.

 

It can't be compared to porn.

 

When you visit porn site after porn site, you also waste hours at a time. That's my point. Wasting time.

 

Stop wasting your time mocking on others and you'll have plenty of free time

 

My best advice is don't do it. I've done it quite often and I've felt almost just as crappy as when looking at porn. Even though your not over-dosing your brain with neurochemicals as with porn. You are still causing some level of unnecessary stimulation making your mind dependent on the sexual sensation. Hence you enlarge your attention span, and focus because your brain isn't dependent on instant gratification. The best comparison is going without food for a long period of time and then when you finally do eat the meal is much more satisfying. So without porn is almost the same thing except your not being as desensitized

 

For me masturbation just seems like a cop out. If you're going to do this, do it all the way. I PROMISE you will not never regret NOT masturbating.

In the end it is a pointless and frivolous pursuit. It lacks any benefits and takes time and energy away from other things.

I don't know if it was just me, but when I masturbated it felt like a sort of tranquilizer. It left me numb...it stole my power.

 

So rawrguy-
I was just reading over some of the FAQ and found a line that states NoFap is not against masturbation. I wish that I had a better reference for how to find that, I just followed some clicks. So I would, according to that, support your participation here. Embrace your question for discussion. I would ask you to define it a little more. You ask if M w/o P is OK? Define OK? Although I am on a "7 day no PMO counter", MY overall goal is-
1) Absolutely no P ever again
2) Sex with my partner (once per week)
3) M maybe once per week
4) Limit the amount of time that I spend talking/thinking about this issue

I will never, and I see no reason to, take M out of my life. I truly think- all things in moderation.
If I had to answer your question yes or no as stated, I say yes.