Is masturbating without porn okay?

Thumbs up Fagdad! I am with you on that issue.

In fact I think for a lot of guys out there it is easier to do NoFap + not using porn together, because for us addicts this is wired together in our brains. Also it has the mentioned side effects of loosing energy and that it might slow down your progress. However my goal is to regain a healthy view on erotic stimulation and for me this includes masturbation. Masturbation is not sex, surely. But it doesn't have to be! I think masturbation can sometimes be better than sex, because it is different. Porn is the evil guy in my opinion, not MO! And how should I regain this view by not practicing it?

All things in moderation is a very good mantra as well. This applies to all possible addictive behaviors or substances in life...Constant masturbation (as constant sex) will just drain the energy out of yourself and leave you with a lack of energy in other parts of life.

 

I found masterbating without porn only encouraged me to relapse in other ways.

 

I am totally with Fagdad and Peter Enis on this one ! Been thinking about this issue a lot during the past days of abstinence.

For me, sexuality includes masturbation. It includes allowing myself to discover myself and to please myself. It also includes allowing myself to release stress in this way. Sometimes I might feel like working out or going for a run in order to feel good, some other time I might feel like masturbating to relax. And that is the point: I want to feel good, feel balanced and healthy. I don't see a problem in masturbating every other day, maybe after a stressful day or if I just feel aroused. A lot of people argue, that excessive M would prevent us from facing our problems and that we'd use to to ease the pain and to benumb ourselves. I agree with them. But I see a difference between that and an occoasional act of masturbation.

The problem is, for me, when porn turns masturbation into such a compulsive and uncontrolled behavior. When it affects my relationship and the way I interact with my lovely girlfriend, because I am so conditioned by the porn. It is not my goal to reach some meditational state of mind where I do not "need" masturbation, bluntly said. Of course I do not "need" it. But it feels just really good every now and then Just like it feels good to have a beer with my friends. I do not see it as a "waste of energy". I am neither a robot nor a machine that has to use its energy most economically in order to be very effective. I am a human who experiences different situations and feelings and likes to engange with different kinds of pleasure every now an then, as long as I am under control of what happens.

The big question is, if I'll be able to reach a point, where I am in control of my autosexual behavior only by abstaining from PMO totally, or if masturbation, in moderation, can be part of the process. I know that a lot of guys here experienced a higher tendency to relapses when masturbating without porn compared to when refraining completely from it. I thing it's understandable. But then again, I want to experience myself, what is possible and what is not.

I will see about that and I will let you guys know in my journal

 

Thank you fagdad. Really appreciate it!
And it is true that different mindsets makes different thinking and different conclusions. Thats why you should never outcount anyones opinion because they're their opinion and it can actually in some way help you. I believe that all opinions are needed but should be used carefully.

In my case porn is gone forever, however I am not entirely sure on my decision on masturbation. Right this moment I really dont care about it.

Love to hear more of your opinions!

 

I tried a few weeks without porn and just masturbation as I knew before this was going to be difficult. What I learned was both are equally as bad. The reason is you just fill that porn void with lewd thoughts. So the porn gets substituted with your imagination. It's still the same thing. And I don't know anyone who just masturbates to nothing, I mean you need to be thinking of something.

So it really amounts to the same thing. I genuinely think you gotta go cold turkey on the lot, the only allowed sexual gratification is real life stuff, but ha, we know how difficult that can be to get if you're socially retarded + social anxiety.

The reality is the only safe future is one without porn and self masturbation, for some this reality is too much, so we set ourselves goals to reach day 30, day 60, day 90.

 

I just don't understand how people can masturbate and feel it's a good thing. If masturbation is hard for you stop and you are compulsed to do it, are you not addicted? I can not personally continue doing anything I am compulsed to do. Masturbation is simply another chain to be broken.

 

Lol you are banned, so you had your mouth shut in the end for beinh such a douche

 

the main thing is this, it could become boring to just m, as you get used to it, so you want to start masturbating with porn.

 

Thanks for motivating me..

 

I'd say if you're doing a reboot to wait until your P addiction is under control, like say the 90 days PMO free. I don't think M is a bad thing per say, just don't abuse it. In the end it's entirely up to you, the main goal for us here is to stop and quit P so if you want to go back to M for whatever reason there's nothing necessarily wrong with that.

 

That means i can do M without P.. is it alright?

 

It depends on how long you've been free of P because if you're just starting no PMO, it's usually not a very good idea since you haven't given your brain a break from the dopamine.

If you haven't conquered your addiction you'll most likely still be fantasising about P or even subconsciously doing it while M'ing. Again though, that's entirely up to you or anyone else, it may work for some and not others. For me personally I'm not going back to M.

 

I would not go back to masturbation, just have sex.

 

57 isn’t dead. I’m 40 what am I a dinosaur?

 

I Quit my porn and masturbation addiction months ago I feel a lot better.

 

I tried this, I interrupted when I understood that I was going back to porn

 

The other problem with masturbation besides fantasizing is the 'death grip'. If you constantly make your penis used to a tight grip of hand it will be difficult to orgasm with a real woman. This is because your penis will now require a certain amount of pressure to create that sensation.

 

I have finished 3 weeks now, first 5 days were alright, next 13 days were very difficult having aggression, headaches, no energy, sleepiness, no sexual desire, fatigue but since last 3 days its going uphill, I am happy, energy is back and so is my sexual urges. I want to just masturbate anyhow, I won't use porn, will that relapse my effort ? I am getting restless that I havent even had a nightfall.

 

Man, do it. You are doing it right and sure thing you will not use porn. I tried NoFap during exams, it affected badly my concentration and I got some lower mark than expected. Neglecting masturbation for a long time is bad.
It means your body has arrived.

If you still doubt after those lines: get at day 30, postpone your decision until that day. You will also be able to say "one full month of NoFap"

 

I stopped P in 2015, started that in 2001. I M since 1995. I did P 2 to 4 times a week, totalling 2hr/wk. Rought average.

When I did stop, I didn't know about NoFap. I stopped by myself. Because I was ashamed about it.

I had no issues with relapses. I never had any urges. I do crave it very rarely and very weakly. Initially, When I stopped M for more than a week. Then I will crave P more. Especially when I start M again. If I keep M, then P cravings go away. I allow myself to fantazise, but my own fantasms. I believe that it is important to do that yourself, and develop healthy fantasm. If any P thoughs happens, let them be, but don't hold to them. Don't pay attention to them, they'll go away (Learn how to meditate). And then develop your own fantasm, based on how you perceive healthy sexuality.

I'm married, I have a daugther. So this is not causing me any issues. And I know by experience. Also. I am aware that I must not do P again. Or else I'll start doubting myself that I can't M without doing P again. This is very important to know when you decide to do M after stopping P.

In short, you M? That's good. But DONT DO P! Don't do it! Else you'll start convincing yourself that M is as bad as P, that you can't do M without relapsing into P. And from there with undermined self-confidence, you'll even have more difficulties from ever doing M and even O without relapsing into P. Do have that in mind. Never do P. It is not worth it. You don't want to lose M, because you came to convince yourself that you can't M without relapsing into P.

If you M and never do P, months later the opposite happens. You won't feel bad about M anymore. You won't be afraid of P anymore, or from its cravings.

If you do M, note that you should not pay too much attention on how often you do it. As long as you do not hurt yourself (Grip of death), take your time and enjoy it, it is ok. M is an issue when you have to spend so much time in it, that your life suffers from it. Not when you need to do it regularly, and that the habit is ponctual (IE. you do it for 15-30 minutes. Not for hours). Also, doing it many times per day, it too much too.

I do M from 2 to 7 times a week. I'm 37. This does not cause me any harm, and in fact my libido is better when I do M regularly. When my daughter was born, I did not M for 6 weeks. Then I was sexually "dead". I did M to awaken my libido. Once a week initially. Then as my libido came back, M frequency increased to 5 to 7 times /week (Which is normal for me. This varies from person to person.).

Anyhow... this is my personal experience, and beliefs.