Is my problem the same as that of porn-addicts? Please read it...

NoToFap

NoToFap

New Fapstronaut
So I had never heard of porn addiction, NoFap or reboot until very recently. When I found Your Brain On Porn, I instantly related to several porn-addicts' accounts and symptoms--including the constant urge to masturbate, moderate social anxiety, and the feelings of shame and disgust that come right after finding orgasm in some weird sexual fantasy. Yet, there's something different about my story: I have never masturbated to porn (the one time I tried it, it became that I need some backstory--with actual people who I know--to turn me on). The closest I've been to masturbarting to porn are the times I stare at photos of hot women, like fitness models, and make up a little plot to get myself envolved.

Anyway, as it seems to happen with most porn-addicts, my habit--which began at age 13 or something--has escalated to something beyond my control. And the fantasies I have have also become peculiar, to the point that femdom is now frequent. Not to mention the shame, depression, anxiety and craving that follow.

So, after reading a lot on the subject, I'm still not sure if the problem that all these websites (Your Brain On Porn, Reboot Nation, NoFap.org etc.) adress (i.e., the negative effects of porn-addiction) applies to my case. If mine is too different a problem, then no-fapping probably wouldn't help me...

Can masturbation and fantasizing, together with a bad history with girls, produce the same effects as an actual porn-addiction?

If any of you have experienced my problem or know the answer to that, then I beg you answer my question. Right now, I'm determined to go through some months of abstinence just to see the results, but only knowing that this might work will provide the motivation I need.
 
There is little meaningful difference between what you have experienced and what most others have. Multiple women on the Internet, absurd fantasy, escalation, shame and depression. You're one of us.

Welcome!
 
Still it's a problem too man, it could lead into you seeking out porn and getting addicted too. Glad you are here and have recognized your problem! Hope your journey goes well!
 
I have seen an emerging trend in recent times where people tailor their own circumstance (or experiences) with porn, masturbation, or orgasm in an attempt to justify or otherwise rationalize their choices to do it. While I think that in many instances this beast is one of degrees (anywhere from low to high and all places in between) a couple of hard realities need to be addressed:

1. Any refugee to PMO and its associated behaviors is probably indicative of a maladaptive schema (but we have been lied to for years by the porn industry and liberal attitudes toward the subject)- "the porn is good for your sexuality argument"
2. You have taken the trouble to sign up for this site (and therefore movement)
3. This problem has the capacity to escalate and become addictive (believe me, I wish it wasn't true, but it is)

I am glad that you found YBOP it serves as an excellent starting point. I even sent it off to one of my loved ones the other day (who is not PMO addicted) just for reference because I am beginning to see that these insights are still widely unknown and not thought of in terms of a major problem in society. Educating others to spread the word is a good thing in my opinion.
 
Ok heres my take agree or not. Porn is a drug like any other thankfully you can't overdose and die as far as I can tell. Your brain likes the highs and lows you get from it but no matter how great it is your brain wants either more extreme porn or more time. Ive escalated and everyone has its natural.

The emotions you feel after are the emotions common with a dopamine drop because when you watch porn your dopamine spikes then it goes down as much as it went up and you feel like shit. Masturbation fantasizing and a bad history with girls heres my opinion they will make different effects. Most effects felt by porn addicts are desensitization and a disinterest in girls. Its interesting because very few porn stars are attractive at all. In fact plain jane on the street is more attractive given the makeup the "stars" get. But its because there is no investment or risk in porn its easier than going to the bathroom so thats why people choose it because its easy and theres no rejection.

But back to others fantasizing will give you an unreal expectation of the world you will expect a lot when nothings happened a little fantasizing can be ok I would say it hurts you progress.

Bad history with girls lets be honest who hasn't had a little one. It will make you cynical if your not careful. But I would advise looking at girls the way I do every interaction everything I do is a lesson. I mess up I look back write down what I did wrong then try again. It sticks to say it but a lot is trial and error there is no perfect way to get girls you have to find your own method. And if you ever get a relationship its about much much more than just sex because she's not paid thousands of dollars to fulfill your fantasies so once again fantasizing creating unreal expectaitons.

Masturbation is eh to me because it makes you horny than gets rid of the energy and it promotes being alone. Some people are heavily against it. I just think you need to find what your goals are. I am trying to not M if I can just because mentally it helps my streak if I don't

But my last piece of advice is that abstinence isn't key. this is journey to improve your life. Your only goal should be to have an improved life from the time you learned about this to now. regardless of streaks look at the quality of your life. Good luck man.

Im kinda in a rush so if theres something you need clarified just ask.
 
Hey mate . I completely get where you are coming from as I too have no addiction to porn but more just MOIng everyday.

What turns me on is being submissive to someone. Not necessarily sexually just I dunno being submissive to them in everyday life.

Now I personally think it has become a huge problem for me. I personally think porn, MOIng, fantasising all mess with your head. I've noticed such a difference in my well being even with short streaks. I don't go on dom sub websites now. It does reflect on your life so if I haven't been on the site and not MOed for say a week people treat me differently I feel better I look after myself etc

Go hard mode man what have you got to lose? Of course don't be swayed by what I say it's completely up to you and I wish you well in whatever you do
 
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