Is no O really necessary?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by El.Barto.Springfield, Nov 21, 2017.

  1. El.Barto.Springfield

    El.Barto.Springfield Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 28 y.o. guy who's having ED problems (even with sildenafil) and my urologist suggested going no PM. I've been regularly masturbating to porn since 14 y.o. My ED has been with me since I first started out attempting to have sex. After four failed attempts I started using sildenafil, and it solved the problem for the last ten years of my life. However, during this last year my erections have started to become unreliable even with sildenafil and tadalafil. I recently met a new girl and had four failed attempts at sex with her, using the drugs. That's when I booked a consultation with a urologist, who told me to go no PM.

    I found this website and you guys are talking about PMO. Just wondering. Is the "O" in PMO really necessary? I mean, my goal is simply to improve my erection during sex. Whats wrong with attempting/having sex along the way? Does that really hold back my progress? I mean, I can't really think of a better replacement activity for PM than actually sex.

    Also, what about just light touching/caressing of the soft penis/balls/perineum? I do this a lot at home, while I'm doing other things. For example while reading, I might lightly touch my soft penis/balls/perineum for a few seconds every now and again. Maybe once every five minutes or so. I'm not masturbating, just touching. Often by sort of squeezing the glans between two fingers until it slips out of the grip, or by lightly caressing the perineum back and forth or gripping my balls with one hand.
     
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  2. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Most guys go for hardmode no pmo for a few months first. Then they are free to orgasm through sex. Going pmo free ensures that your brain rewires and reboots well. Orgasms will only make it extra difficult and will take longer to recover.
     
  3. As a married man I didn't give up O for obvious reasons. However, every time I O after sex I notice that the Chaser Effect follows in the days after. This is something to keep in mind particularly if you aren't married. I think many people opt to give up O as well because of the Chaser Effect.
     
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  4. that's the trouble with saying I can m say three times a month, or week , but the problem is then half the month, I am dealing with the chaser effect. so for 90 days, I am going 100% .
     
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  5. chinatown117

    chinatown117 Fapstronaut

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    True statement. I thought the EXACT same thing as you El.Barto.Springfield but like Harper said - the Chaser Effect is real and it's hard (no pun intended) to overcome consistently. It's also important that sex doesn't replace your desire to PMO - it started to with me. Every time I had the urge for porn I would simply go to my wife for sex. Eventually, I got greedy and thought about only my needs cause I wanted to re-experience the dopamine rush that orgasm would give me. This wasn't healthy. I want sex to be mutual and I want it to have meaning. I need to first get over my addiction to orgasming with porn and masturbation before I orgasm with sex. I've been doing reading into kareeza, where it's sex without orgasming - I know, sounds crazy. But look it up before you immediately turn it away.

    Www.reuniting.info
     
  6. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    along my streak i want 35 days and 50 days hard mode. It really helps.
     
  7. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I am not so sure anyone really answered the OP's original question: Are male orgasms actually necessary?

    I will try to answer based on what I believe to be true: They are NOT necessary other than for the sake of reproduction.

    Lots of evidence towards this end, but let's hear from others. Is the male orgasm actually necessary?
     
  8. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Or are we talking about the male orgasm strictly during a reboot?
     
  9. El.Barto.Springfield

    El.Barto.Springfield Fapstronaut

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    Just during reboot. I was wondering if it was really necessary NOT to orgasm, even from sex, during the reboot.
     
  10. El.Barto.Springfield

    El.Barto.Springfield Fapstronaut

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    I also want you opinions about the light touching that I was talking about.
     
  11. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Some guesses on my part: The O does slow down a reboot. But I'm still new.

    I did a lot of that passive masturbation (light touching). Didn't help me at all. I'd avoid it.
     
  12. DIYAS1

    DIYAS1 Fapstronaut

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    People have different approaches to porn addiction recovery. I have a girlfriend and am not willing to give up sex with her. We only get to sleep together every other weekend so there are periods of abstinence. Yes the chaser effect can be quite difficult to deal with. I find 2-3 days after O with her I am extremely aroused and have difficulty with focus and sleep because of that. I am interested to see if that persists. For me PMO led to PIED and difficulty achieving O during sex. I also used fantasy during sex which I felt very guilty about. I have only been doing this recovery for 30 days but find I have stoped looking PMO, I get great erections and can O during sex without any fantasy. So to get back to your question...I enjoy listening to Pornfree Radio with Matt Dobschuetz on iTunes. Episode 069 "Sex In Recovery From Porn" is an approach I am following and may help answer your question.
     
  13. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    The fact that you can't get it up for a girl should be a huge wake up call. Your brain now associates sex with a computer screen. That's why you can't get an erection with your girl.

    I used to have spontaneous boners before I started using pornography. Fortunately I could still get it up for my ex girlfriends when I was already hooked on pornography. For me porn was more of a motivation to get real sex. It's different for everyone. Took me a long time to realize how bad porn really is. Not only does it rewire your sexuality, it also affects your personality. Not being able to get it up for a real girl is one of the most disturbing things a man can experience. Porn basically stole your masculinity the way it messed up all of us.

    You should abstain from all PMO until your brain is back to normal. At the very least.

    Good luck.
     
  14. El.Barto.Springfield

    El.Barto.Springfield Fapstronaut

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  15. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    El Barto, I am glad to hear of your progress. Bken: Thank you for a most delightfully quotable statement. "Porn basically stole your masculinity.."

    You have no idea how powerful those words were to me. It makes me angry at porn whereas before I was simply trying to stay away from it. To paraphrase your words, I allowed porn to steal my masculinity.

    And my morning boners seem to be coming back! LOL.
     
  16. El.Barto.Springfield

    El.Barto.Springfield Fapstronaut

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    Thanks :) And I'm glad that your morning boners are returning as well! Haha
     
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