Is not fapping for a while really helping ? At the end of the day it doesn't make me less lonely.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TylertheDestroyer, Mar 2, 2018.

  1. TylertheDestroyer

    TylertheDestroyer New Fapstronaut

    I've always fapped to feel better even if it only lasts a few seconds, it was also pleasant to watch porn trying to relate to the characters thinking that could be me doing this. I'm extremely lonely and my limited social interactions are very calculated and not natural which makes people not interested in me. Not fapping will add another rock on my back, eventually I'm sure it would be beneficial, but maybe it would be better to solve the problem at its roots, instead of patching the consequences. I'm scared that at some point I'll relapse because I can't stand the loneliness.
    j_pwc_bat and noonoon like this.
  2. I struggled with the same thing. And my advice is to build up a solid streak, and with that, you'll be more confident to make friends. Trust me, when the friends come, so will the invites to things. You will feel loved if you put yourself out there. Strut your stuff man!
    Mr. E, HipPete and TylertheDestroyer like this.
  3. Well, you just stated your own problem. The reason why people won't find you very social is that you're too isolated. I used to be that way as well, back when I thought that I was above other people. I found that the best way to deal with this is to just get out there and start talking to people. The key is to make the necessary changes when testing how to be social. I know it's hard; it's still a struggle for me to talk to girls at all. But you can do whatever you put your mind to, if you really want it. As for your question, the only way for you to find the true answer is to test it yourself. I see many people on this website judging their opinion of NoFap on those that others have. In my opinion, people need to form their own opinions. So try NoFap for 30 days or so, and see if anything changes for you. If it doesn't, then masturbation wasn't the problem.
    Hitto and j_pwc_bat like this.
  4. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    FAP is a drug-like addiction that prevents us from overcoming our personal shortcomings (and even makes them worse). Yes, it’s going to be hard, but you will begin to feel better for it. Dealing with loneliness with pmo will only isolate you further.

    Besides, isn’t it worth a try? How long have you been doing this? Why not try a new way. Yes it’s hard, but it is worth it.
    VeganRights, Mr. E, Peace467 and 4 others like this.
  5. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    Why would you work for happiness if you can get it for free? That's the reason you need to leave porn and fapping. You're dependent on it to survive, literally survive. You basically just admitted it yourself. Human beings need social interaction to survive, and you've none of it, instead resorting to poor substitutes. Stop being scared, conquer your fear, hit back and tell your addiction who's boss.
    As for adding another rock to your back, it's always darkest before dawn. The joy and happiness that you have to work for is unlike anything else.
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Why would I stop smoking meth? At the end of the day life is still difficult, uncertain, and lonely. So why not escape and feel high all the time?

    Because reality is what you want to develop. Reality is what you want to stop escaping from. It's lonely because you haven't made the necessary changes for you to stop being lonely. The point is to create more room in your life for better things. You can't just stop porn and masturbation and expect life to magically change for you. You have to work for it.
    VeganRights, Mr. E, Hitto and 3 others like this.
  7. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Reality! So much time spent avoiding it that we wind up trapping ourselves like our own Alice in Wonderland.
    VeganRights, Mr. E, Peace467 and 2 others like this.
  8. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Think of it like planting a garden. Your thoughts / feelings / actions are the seeds you plant and cultivate. Months later those are the plants that you harvest. If it's filled with escaping a lonely reality rather than reality that you want, that's because that's what you've been planting cultivating and harvesting.

    Time can either promote you or expose you. What's comfortable now (porn) becomes uncomfortable later on (hard to beat the addiction and reality is a neglected mess). What's uncomfortable now (difficult and uncertain reality) becomes comfortable later on (planting a garden that you desire and are proud of).

    So if you have a garden you don't like, it's most likely because you've been planting cultivating and harvesting the wrong seeds then being depressed and angry about it.
    Mr. E, Hitto, j_pwc_bat and 1 other person like this.
  9. FaithWithGod

    FaithWithGod Fapstronaut

    Brother.. I am In the Same situation and I've come soo close to relapsing in the last 2 Days.. But now I am joyful being lonely.. Cos I found out that being lonely shouldn't be considered A Negative thing.. I've Understood that by being lonely it's actually God Asking u to Talk to Him so that u can have a better relationship with him.. It's God Telling u to not forget him..
    I Place A Bible In The Bed(Or The Place where I go to that leads me to Porn)
    Use This And You Will See God Helping U Get Through Temptations..
    DorkBird, Deleted Account and Kris456 like this.
  10. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

    Fapping makes men and women weak, unmotivated, depressed, lonely.


    (You actually [I checked] have about 200 million options re: women in your age range!)

    Everyman's Battle ................................E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y.............but which day do you want to loose a battle?
    None! You'd rather have a successful day......... and add to your Day Counter.

    The start of an Excellent life is only a few seconds away!
  11. lamstronger

    lamstronger Fapstronaut

    Yeah, as mentioned above, nofap does wonders. You will feel more energetic and social if you try and build a nice streak
  12. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    Sounds like junkie talk: "No man, I just need a little get me through the day. C'mon man, just a little taste!"

    Solving the problem at its roots is a great idea! What steps could you take to address the loneliness? Who could you talk to? Who could help you with it?

    And here's a piece of advice I am fully qualified to give: you will fail. And again, and again. Until you don't. And while that thought may feel devastating, here's the upshot: the sooner you can accept failure as not only an option, but necessary for the learning that makes success possible, the more successful you will be. Weird, eh? So go and fail! Fail big, learn big, win big.
  13. I think when you say it adds another rock it is most likely a small rock being removed you just don't notice because you are already weighed down but every rock you take off lightens the load. You may not notice it at first but this step (rock) could lead you to taking other steps (rocks). It is okay to fail. You're here for support and hopefully even though it is not out in the physical social environment we can provide some solace in that as well (as in a social atmosphere).

    Edit: spelling

    Truegamer007 likes this.
  14. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

    Remember, you are never alone in this. Your age, younger, older.

    Every time you relapse you feed your darker ego to not do anything about your life. Every time you don't relapse, you are trying to do something about your life. It is your only and ultimate drive towards finding the meaning of life.

    Loneliness is a natural urge and it desperately tries to motivate you do something about your life. Don't fight it back relapsing. Go outside, even if you are alone. Take a walk. Look, how many opportunities there are. Loneliness doesn't come with a tag. Everyone sooner or later goes through this lonely journey. And it is nothing to be ashamed of. Life is full of ups and downs. Even if you feel down at the moment, someday it will be much better for you. And, by the way, I am lonely as well.
    DorkBird, Mr. E and Deleted Account like this.
  15. Yes it kinda does that, you will feel better but the loneliness thing it's in your hands bro, embrace it or go out and enjoy.
    Deleted Account and xeon1993 like this.
  16. xeon1993

    xeon1993 Fapstronaut

    As soon as OP quits P, there is a sudden urge to get those dopamine moments again, which strongly refers as loneliness. And if he manages to discipline himself, soon he will be able to connect with ones worth his time. Connect with whoever you feel is worth your time (People you don't know counts too). Even if the link between was broken. I find it hard to believe OP doesn't have anyone in his life as all of humanity have. There is never too late to get in touch with old ones. We born alone and die alone. All in the middle is story of people you manage to keep contact with and people you separate and manage to recover.
    Deleted Account and Mr. E like this.
  17. DorkBird

    DorkBird Fapstronaut

    Ive struggled with pretty bad social anxiety for a long time. Im able to hide it well nowadays, but I always think that if I were to show my real personality around people, it would seem as exciting as a wet piece of cardboard.

    Not being able to have natural interactions with people is like starting out from a deep ditch. I feel that being addicted to PMO is like taking a shovel and making that ditch deeper. My longest streak was about 120 days, hard mode - during this time it took less energy to solve my daily problems. I was able to eat lunch with my classmates and not worry as much whether I would look odd or not. The anxiety was still there, and I would still worry about what I would say and do the day before, but the pain was much less, and I felt like I had energy to fight these battles.
  18. Holy snap! I'm gonna add that to my Hall of Quotes! "Being lonely is actually God asking you to talk to him so that you can have a better relationship with him."
    Hitto, FaithWithGod and Truegamer007 like this.
  19. FaithWithGod

    FaithWithGod Fapstronaut

    All You Have To Do is stop judging what is good or bad.. Leave that to God because we all know.."HE KNOWS BETTER"
  20. weather your fapping or not you have to get used to being alone no matter how much it sucks I know about loneliness weather I was fapping or not didn't help it , try to find stuff you like to do outside of fapping and do it I know its not easy when you feel alone but it will help

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