Is Porn addiction a cause or a symptom?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Porn Free Wanderer, Jul 23, 2018.

  1. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

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    To be totally honest, the more I think about it, the more I think perceiving one's self as an addict isn't necessarily the right way to go about it. For me the whole "I'm an addict" thing became just another excuse to relapse. "Oh, woe is me! I'm a porn addict! I just can't stay clean therefore I need porn." I think one of the important steps to getting over any addiction is changing your perception of yourself. Start seeing yourself as a 'clean' guy, and keep reinforcing that to yourself. Get to the point that when those old urges come up, you just say "that's not me anymore", and then you go and do something else.

    Now it's up to the individual to determine what their goals are. If your goal is to never orgasm again and practice semen retention, then by all means you should eliminate all forms of MO. For me that isn't my goal. I happen to agree with the doctors who say that the occasional release actually does have some health benefits. I also don't believe that sex is taboo or harmful, except for the fact that we pedestalise it too much (but that's another argument). I don't believe that our natural desires as heterosexual (or even homosexual) men are anything to be ashamed of. That's why I shake my head when I see threads on here where people complain about being 'triggered' by something they saw or the way a woman was dressed today. You should be triggered by that, it's a sign of healthy sexuality. I'm also old school enough to remember the days when I used to MO (a lot less frequently I might add) without the aid of P, simply because P just wasn't available.

    I believe it's also a sign of healthy sexuality to be in touch with your own body, and your own desires. I genuinely don't believe that MO is bad under certain circumstances, those being that it's done in moderation, that it's done with no assistance from porn at all, and that it doesn't interfere with the rest of your life.
     
  2. I think that if you are an addict, then it is definitely imperative to identify as an addict. If you are not an addict, then no, you wouldn't need to identify as an addict.
    I agree that normal sexuality is good, but addiction to porn and fapping is not good
    I think there are two cultures, one that is sex-negative and one that is sex-positive. I think that both can be tyrannical. They are two sides of the same coin. I have vacillated between both. I agree completely that it is up to the individual to determine what their goals are
     
  3. bravastan

    bravastan Fapstronaut

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    Well said. Defining oneself can have its upsides but also downsides. It helps shape a context with certain guideline which we can use but it can also halter us to do something outside those guideline for the sake of the identification.
     
  4. Great thread started by PornFreeWanderer. I guess my addiction changed over all the years I have been fapping(over 55 years). At first no porn at all was needed,not even a picture.Just being young numb and full of cum.From there it progressed to pictures in magazines, Playboy and on up.
    This post got me thinking about many years ago when I was 18 or so working in a garage. One of the box trucks we serviced had the inside of the truck walls covered with Playboy centerfolds by the driver. I can't tell you how many times I jerked of back there. Years later I went to work in a shop,the guys had done the same thing with the walls in the locker room. Many times when I worked the night shift alone I jerked off back there. I was married at the time and I'm sure it affected my desire to have sex when I went home.
    Just yesterday I relapsed by edging. I felt I was going through a flatline and wasn't so eager to have sex with my GF. My mind got me thinking if I watched porn I would get horny. Well I didn't ejacualte but sure wasted hours that could have been put to better use.All I wound up with is a sore dick and guilt today. I do agree that if you are horny and and have no chance of having sex a quick MO is better than doing what I did.
    I realize know that at my age I am addicted to porn much more then I am addicted to having an orgasim.Seems I enjoy the hours of dopamine being released while edging more than having actual sex which never lasts as long.Thanks for helping me realize this.
     
  5. For me, understanding myself as an 'addict' helps to re-inforce the importance of abstaining and importantly resisting any urge to drink the first drink, take the first hit or click on the first porn site because from then on a fire starts to burn. My job as a recovering addict is to not light the fuse because now i understand how difficult it is to put that fire out and honestly i don't think i have another binge left in me, i feel because of the way i mixed drugs with porn it would be like a death knell.

    Paradoxically though one has to have that vision in their mind of being a 'clean living guy' as something to maintain and aspire to every day despite sitll identifying as an addict.
     
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