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Is porn addiction a result of the failure to have the opportunity of sexual fulfillment?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by lonercub, Dec 15, 2021.

  1. Will111

    Will111 New Fapstronaut

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    I think this could be true for many. I got hooked on porn because my partner was unwilling to make love but I was deeply in love with them. So I started using porn and masturbation as a release. After 15 years the relationship finally ended because we had slipped farther and farther apart. Then I met someone new and wow or wow I couldn't get the equipment to work anymore. After going to the MD and he not finding anything wrong I got the thought that it was all the massive amount of porn I was watching that was the problem. So I have stopped. I would never have gotten addicted to porn if the first partner would have been willing to have a sexual relationship with me. Will
     
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  2. Leon12

    Leon12 Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation itself is a cowardly and pointless act. Most people who engage in heavy masturbation have low self-esteem and almost no courage to seek safe, meaningful sex due to fear of rejection. That is why they prefer to hide behind closed doors and sneak into porn sites to get what “they wrongly believe” to be a sexual pleasure.

    Masturbation is not sex, and it’s definitely not healthy. The more you engage in it, the more it programs your mind to view people as sexual objects of pleasure, and the less courage and social anxiety you’ll express around a potential attractive mate.

    I'm not a big advocate of self-shame and I think that the only thing you should feel is “healthy guilt” about the past, and this should be the blueprint for a better future. It should motivate you to never let “porn” take away from your life quality.

    Shame is destructive; it leads to loneliness and will make you prone and addiction sensitive. Don’t get trapped in a cycle of shame, but instead affirm, ” I’m glad that I woke up ” use the past, no matter how negative, to create a better future, but never surrender.

    PMO’ing is simply the easy way out, but life isn’t that way. There are no shortcuts, and there is nothing better than healthy natural sex with a willing, loving, caring partner. Compulsive porn masturbation rewires your brain to escalate to shocking extremes. Viewing porn will only lead you to seek more extreme porn. You will never get enough, and it will never give you the satisfaction that sex can give you.
     
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  3. If that's true, then why do I know married men who do nothing but look at other women (and some actually cheat)? Seems we can never get enough regardless.
     
  4. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Except we were all once young, dumb, and horny and not all of us got addicted.
     
  5. Leon12

    Leon12 Fapstronaut

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    These married men are frustrated due to the porn. They had expectations but found none of them to be real, which is why they hypothesized that the problem might be their partner.

    It is a desperate and perverse act in a way.
     
  6. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    I don't intend this to be rude but you didn't grow up with infinite amounts of porn on tap like those of a younger generation, you're also female and are therefore statistically far less likely to become addicted.

    For reference I also started gambling around the same time I got hooked on porn. I gambled pretty heavily for many years yet despite this I never became addicted, one day I just decided I didn't really want to do it anymore and that was the end of it. If there was some deeper reason for me becoming addicted to porn then why didn't that also transfer over to gambling or anything else? I was doing ok with girls at the time so it wasn't even a case of porn being my only option. Personally I just believe that some of us are more sensitive to certain stimuli and in my case it's sex, even long before I ever watched porn I was totally infatuated with the idea of sex and the female body so when porn came along it wasn't just a case of "oh, this is nice" but more like I'd just hit the evolutionary jackpot.
     
  7. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    My husband did not have infinite amounts of porn either and yet he’s addicted, alcohol on the other hand was always easily accessible to him and yet he’s a porn addict, not an alcoholic. My best friend ( male) exposed around the same time as me is not a porn/sex addict and he too was young dumb and horny.
     
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  8. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Is this not just confirming my point? Some of us have a stronger reaction to certain stimuli than others.

    I watched porn a lot, I got hooked. I gambled a lot, I didn't get hooked. Out there somewhere there's someone who can say the exact opposite. If a normal, happy 15 year old ends up trying drugs and as a result becomes hooked, is there some deep-seated reason why they became addicted? Or did that 15 year old just get hooked on a drug and then found it difficult to stop? I just don't see why there always has to be a deeper reason.
     
  9. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Why addicted to anything? Trauma response causes addiction. Some people have trauma and don’t get addicted, we all have trauma of some sort to varying degrees. Parents divorcing causes trauma, a parent dies causes trauma, a sibling dies or bullies you, parents stay together but fight, trauma, healthy parents but you are bullied in school, trauma, heck even just falling and breaking your arm as a child can cause emotional trauma where you are now afraid to try anything. These are every day life experiences but they do cause a trauma response, to which some people turn to a substance and become addicts while others do not.
     
  10. sh0gun

    sh0gun Fapstronaut

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    It definitely plays a part. I got into porn just as I hit puberty and was having no luck with girls. And the fact I couldn't have sex with them was a part of it, but it was more about not being able to connect with a girl/woman on a deep level. For her to love me unconditionally and for me to return that. That is what I really wanted.
     
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  11. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Because some things just are addictive? Drugs are addictive, are they not? If someone pumps you full of heroin for a sustained period of time, do you think you'd be able to just shrug it off afterwards and not feel the need for more once they stop?

    I got addicted to porn because I liked it, I really, really, really(x 1000000) liked it. I had a good childhood, I was a normal, happy kid, I didn't suffer any trauma. I wasn't going to porn to escape, I was going to porn because I loved watching it. Of course now I wish I hadn't but truthfully I don't think I could have stopped myself. My sex drive was impossibly high and porn was the perfect accomplice.
     
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  12. Psalm27:1my light

    Psalm27:1my light Fapstronaut

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    Then you are the exception to the rule. Just because things are addictive does not make someone get addicted. There is generally a reason beyond the fact that you really, really like it. When I was young I really liked porn, it gives you a rush, I’m not addicted. Some alcoholic drinks I really like but I’m not an alcoholic. Some people can use addictive things without becoming an addict. Others cannot. The understanding of addictions is still new but there is enough evidence to show that trauma is a major factor. Mental health issues are another major factor. Many people gamble without becoming addicted. Addictions tend to run in families. So possibly a genetic component. The question was if you became addicted because you had no sexual outlet. Many people don’t have that outlet but don’t become sex addicts. I had a great childhood but, trauma just from the fact I was adopted. I don’t remember the trauma as I was an infant. I know it caused trauma only from taking early childhood development classes. Higher than normal incidences of addiction in adopted children. Obviously there are always exceptions to the rule. That’s why they are exceptions.
     
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  13. I am not addicted because of lack of gf. I was addicted because i have a childhood trauma. But also i am not prepared for a relationship now. Because idk how to do that, only thing i am expert in is hunting new and new porn videos. Maybe a relationship can save us/me , who knows!. But with this porn induced anxiety how we gonna convince a girl for relationship. I think it work like a cycle.
     
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