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Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by dvin, Jul 2, 2021.
so you should fast in order to get merried like a kinda asking God to give you a woman??
im usually good at predicting things and this is one of those.
that old tale is just hogwash about “improving yourself”
just wish i can get a single match on dating apps that look like normal women (or any) but i have a better chance at winning the lottery at this point for that to happen.
Yes it gives u the mysterious attraction from girls . I am high school student . When the quarantine ended , my school reopened and i was on day 52 and at that time that was my highest streak and i was getting atttraction from almost all the girls . Many girls were looking at me when i was doing my work in the class . attraction was everhwhere . in recess , way back to home and school , even random strangers girls. But now i am on day 1 because i relapesd .
Listen, I don't like to believe some magical stuff or whatever because the world doesn't work that way.
I have two answers for you
Like people said, it motivates you to prefer real women because porn is no option, socializing more in usual. You constantly think about how you can improve on every aspect and do your best. Confidence is another thing because porn makes you more shy than usual and messes it up.
Appearance - I'm assuming that's the main question. People think it's a myth and as I said I don't believe in such things but from personal experience I have seen incredible changes I'm 100% sure and people arouns have noticed it. I was on a 217Days streak couple days ago and after I fapped one side of my face lost its shape (became less wider than usual which looks unbalanced to the other side) my nose got bigger, and I have alot of eyelashes so I recognized that I have less than usual. I was like you I wouldn't believe that kind of stuff but trust me I'm 3years on nofap and I had relapses everytime I relapsed I notice the change. The more longer you go the less the relapse will affect you and you will recover faster because it's just a minor setback (unless you fall to the PMO cycle) but the reset is disappointing.
Some people say it doesn't work for them, the whole thing is complicated and nobody has a research or anything to prove which is why nobody knows whether it's true or not, but I'm telling you by experience.
970days no PMO?
There are a number of factors in play that influence confidence from a neurological perspective. Some of the most important ones i will explain below.
abstaining for a while will slowly make your amygdala (=part of your brain) less (re)active. When you feel threatened and afraid, the amygdala automatically activates the fight-or-flight response by sending out signals to release stress hormones that prepare your body to fight or run away. Porn use over decades creates a hyperactive amygdala. So when you abstain completely for a longer period of time the amygdala becomes less active. You are then able to be more calm in exciting/frightening situations. Such as when you are approaching/dating a girl, giving a presentation in front of a lot of people, speaking up for yourself whenever you feel somebody is harming you emotionally etcetera.
also there is a direct loop/connection (back and forth) between the amygdala and the pre-frontal cortex. The pre-frontal cortex (the more advanced front part of the brain) allows you to process and think about your emotions. You can then manage these emotions and determine a logical response. Unlike the automatic response of the amygdala, the response to fear from your frontal lobes is consciously controlled by you. The problem is that the pre-frontal part of the brain becomes less active, because of overflooding it with dopamine for decades. This overflooding with dopamine decreases your dopamine receptor availability. So your ability to manage your emotions and determine a logical response becomes impaired. On top of that the non-rational amygdala part of your brain completely hijacks the pre-frontal cortex in situations when you are at the edge or out of your comfort zone. It perceives these situations comparable to a sabre tooth tiger standing in front of you. Can you see the overreaction here... That's what porn does to you. It creates an intricate and complex neurological system failure. And it has a snowball effect. Because it learns from this negative experience, so next time you might already anticipate this fear, and avoid the situation. Thereby your comfort zone and thus your world becomes smaller and smaller.
I think the neurological / hormonal healing that comes with quitting porn is the basis for most of the long term benefits. The big changes people see in the beginning (first 30 days) are due to testosterone increase, prolactin decrease and just in general the big change in pre- vs post-nofap attitude (and boost of motivation and partly placebo you get from this). After those 15/30/45 days these benefits for a number of people start decreasing a bit, or even almost disappear completely. But actually then the real neurological healing starts. A lot of people are disappointed when this happens, which is why so many of us don't make it through this period. You just have to be very patient and work on yourself at the same time (sport, meditation, eating and sleeping healthy). Even when you are not feeling great. For some people this process can take months or even years to fully recover (look up P.A.W.S or post acute withdrawal symptoms that people see in multiple addictions like alcohol). This is because every body/brain is different + the intensity and length of our previous porn use differs + and we don't all take care of ourselves in the same way in terms of healthy habits. Therefore can be very helpful to use a journal to see the small progression you make. Otherwise you think you won't make progress and stop completely. But this process of sticking to no porn, even when there is much adversity will grow you as a man in the strongest possible way. You will start feeling great about yourself because you know that if you can control your sex drive, you can almost achieve anything in life.
Wow! Thanks so much for taking the time to explain all this. This was very interesting and useful!
I think there is a deeper wisdom behind this hadith. With fasting you can control the urges.
And living celibacy until god gives you a wife leads automatically through NoPMO to become the best version of yourself. This will increase your chance to find a wife.
Yes I think almost all religions order men and women both to be chaste and modest.
well what does it matter anyway .we all are going to die sooner or later and our share of time in the whole lifetime of mankind is just a drop in the sea . we are not forever . time ia flying and we are dying very soon . and all is going to turn into a memory . nothing but a memory . so what does it matter if we get laid or not ? why not just wait and focus on our betterment and pray to God for a chaste wife and why not try to marry a chaste woman and not just casual meaningless indulgence just for the pleasure of it . and after marriage why not pray to God for good and obedient kids and why not invest all the time on kids to leave something meaningful for the world before we die . and yeah tinder is a dating app for hookups which according to my personal opinion is haram because it leads to haram acts. zina and PMO
no i just needed some opinions on my pics bro cause im really desperate right now. im not getting any matches or likes and i paid 300 dollars for professional pictures taken of me
Oh, I had installed it once like about 3 years ago when I used to PMO and I didnt know my way around in it plus I live in a muslim country so i just deleted it , and I dont know about your case , but I think social media makes people less confident by comparisons , and 300 dollars is so much money when converted to our Pakistani rupees LOL, and there also can be some kind of glitch in tinder if you spent so much and still you are not getting likes.
i’ll pm you
i can get likes but it’s usually fat people, or uglies. no normal looking people. and i know for a fact im better looking than every guy in my area on the app.
okey you can PM me, then it must be some sort of glitch or programming in the app which wants you to spend more on the premium version if there is one i guess idk but that could be the answer.
Keeping semen alone doesn't do anything but withdrawing from pmo makes you less anxious and gives you more energy which will make you seem more positive, friendly. This gives you charm and adding on to that you get more energy you might put more value into your looks and well being. So you might start working out and dressing more nicely which also makes you look better and makes you more attractive.