@RecoveringLion wrote this There's a real quandary here. Was it important that I made such a mess of the start of my relationship with my wife? If I could go back, knowing what I know now about myself, I would do things very differently. But surely I know what I know now because of all the immature mistakes I made then. One of the important things that first attracted me to my wife back in 1983 was her clear sense of self-knowledge. That was something I lacked and longed for (although I would not have put it that way then). Suppose I had the confident self-awareness that I have now when I was seventeen: would I have fallen for her, would she have fallen for me? At our last choir concert we sang an interesting (and beautiful) John Ireland setting of the 15th Century text "Adam lay ybounden". Here's the text: It's those last two verses that resonate with what I've been pondering. It suggests that although eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge led to our being banished from the Garden of Eden it was, in balance, a positive thing for humanity. In 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos Jordan Peterson puts it this way I'm not sure I'm asking a cogent question here, it's just somenting I've been thinking through recently and posting about in my journal here. I cannot find the thread now but I remember one of the wives here saying how important it was that we could, hand on heart, say that if we could go back in time then we would not start on this road of pornography and hurt. But is that true? How much of the good men we have now become (or are striving to be) is built upon the flawed men we were?