Is the best help for sex addiction regular sex with girlfriend/wife?

From what I understand, a lot of us addicts suffer from the chaser effect, so even if we were being satisfied sexually, the problem with PMO still remains, so even then we wouldn't be satisfied.

I've seen stories of guys going off and M straight after sex, sounds counter intuitive but it happens.

I really think rebooting has some merit here, abstaining from anything sexual will help rewire, and then you can further rewire with normal healthy sex.

 

I’m not sure if other guys have found this but doing PMO if you be intimate with a girl you can’t finish, as you’re so used to doing M to O, that the real thing doesn’t do it for you, as the feeling is different when you do the actual thing to cum as opposed to O from M

 

sorry to hear that your 2nd half rejects sex. That's fucking wrong.

I was in such situation 2-3 weeks ago where i got constantly rejected by hearing how tired she is, how bad she looks in the morning, how busy during the day, maybe later in the evening or i'm too tired and it's too late. Damn!

We talked about it a lot and of course it's always mine fault becasue i should have done something or i should have been more forgiving and try tomorrow...

Its always the same in long term relationships that they withdraw sex from the relationship after they feel safety. It's crazy at the beginning and then it drops significantly. I still need to fight for sex but i'm getting tired of it and personally getting detached from my gf.

I could be sex addict as well When she tells me how often her friends have sex with their BFs/ hubbies it makes me feel sorry for them. I'd not stay in such reltaionship when there is no sex for month or two or three.... or once a month? Damn!

 

I was in a similar situation with my ex-wife , once a month for years, always had supposed vaginal infections or was tired or etc. Although she had no problems watching big dick porn and erotic visual novels (manga) on her own... I was too stupid to connect the dot at that time (I myself was consumming porn, but was able and willing to have sex)..

I began buying books such as "Passionate marriage" and going to couple's conseling and what not to spark the flame again, but it was too late, something had shifted in my mind after years of trying...I'm not proud of it but I ended up cheating on her (worst decision of my life), I then left divorced her and later found out her note book (in a safe that she did not take with her) stating that she was in love with a fictional character from a videogame series...

Point is, yes, do something about it before you go get what you need elsewhere. Talk to her about it and mention what your needs are, if she does not meet them, I'd say leave her or face eternal unhapiness, I don't see the point of being in a monogamous relationship and tied to 1 woman forever when you can't even have sex with that woman...

Btw, on my end, I'm now 3 years in with a different woman, living with her and having a kid with her, and guess what, we have sex as often as we can (being parents now), used to be each day before that. And also, I could not for the love of god make my ex-wife orgasm (whenever we would finally have sex) and I thought I was bad in bed.. Turns out I'm apparently very good if judge by the comments I got from subsequent women, so yes, sometimes, it's your significant other that's the problem.

In your case, with the little information I've got I would say that your GF is either fucking someone else on the side, is a porn/erotica addict, or is having genuine physical problems but she does not care about your needs enough to be proactive about the situation...all in all, it's bad. Either she steps up or give her the boot.

Edit: I don't want to discount the possibility that your PMO addiction has drained all your testosterone and attractiveness away. It's possible that you dug your own grave after showing her a weak version of you for a long time, masturbating to pixels of other women in secret. If that is the case, stopping PMO, gaining back more manhood and wooing her away should do the job, but it might take some time. Best of luck

To answer OP's original question, to me, yes the further I'm on a streak and the less I have chaser effect after sex with my GF. I also begin to find her more beautiful and to care less about her not wearing make up, ultimately, sex becomes more fulfilling.

 

I'd say it's more about building up a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, more about bringing intimacy back to your life rather than just pure sex. It's obviously good to have sex with your partner, but after so long of been stuck powerless to porn, and probably still are, you need to understand that it's about more than just the 'main event', the finishing moments and it's more about being with each other and being in contact in a healthy way.

 

From someone who was married to a sex addict for over 30 years....many women like sex....just not with a jerk.

 

In answer to the thread's title question:

No. The love and support of a partner helps, and making love only with your partner and in a respectful manner is certainly a step in the right direction. But there's no easy way around it. You have to do the work. And probably the best thing for a sex addict is the exact opposite of what you propose. You need a long break from porn and sex of any kind.

 

Agree. We must engage in intimacy with our partner in a manner that does not treat them as a P-sub, and that focuses on the overall emotional connection.

I think this depends on the individual. With proper intent, strong conviction, and focused resources, one can engage in partner intimacy while pursuing a nofap mission and PMO-free life.