Is there a point where the only option is death?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by PappinAce, Sep 23, 2020.

  1. PappinAce

    PappinAce Fapstronaut

    My sensual lust has been something of a rhizome out of which all kinds of abominable behaviors grew, leaving me with a ruined life. My psychological state deteriorated completely after I cheated on the woman I loved, all because a random girl gave me some attention. In another bout of seeking pleasure and novelty, I quit a job that I loved, where the people welcomed me like I was family, because I wanted to move to Colorado to smoke weed (a habit which intensified as an escapism after the relationship that I left in ruins). Before leaving my job I also gave the cat that I had adopted back to the shelter. Because I cared for nobody and nothing, only where I would get my next toke.

    Since then I have even had job offers. Two of them I quit before I had my first day, the other one I quit after six months after throwing a fit. My past is always on my mind, the past that should also be my present, had I not thrown everything away like a childish idiot, and I find myself rejecting any new possibilities. Guilt, shame, and regret prevent me from being in the present. All I really think about is dying, and the wiping away of all these memories.

    It is not quite as easy as simply dropping the past. Rodia tried to do that in Crime and Punishment but could not find peace until confessing to his crime. But who am I supposed to confess to? The cat god? Nothing that I have done is illegal, but merely shameful. Still I have not told my girlfriend what I did. Perhaps this would be a starting point.
  2. InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

    The answer is simple: do you want to keep wallowing in despair or make a change? Once you decide it is merely moving towards that decision. It may take months or longer but you can get there.
  3. It's a dark place bro. But surrounded by light. Broken relationships change us the most.
    Choose. Just make an irrational choice to forget the past, to lay down the heavy cross. To be the man you've always wanted to be.
    Weed. Cut it. It's good when it's been a good while.
    Pray. Shout out a few words to God. There's absolutely nothing weak about prayer
    Callisthenics or gym. Springs back that awesome masculine feeling
    Life can be a beautiful sunset or a horror story. Ask God for the lake sunset.

    Victory wishes
  4. This is a very good idea. I can give you a very recent example because I literally just done something like this on Monday and I relate to your story quite a bit. I also had great regret on how my last relationship ended and some of the things I did in it. I would also use weed every night to escape from the guilt from these regrets that would hit at night when I was sober. At the start of September I decided to quit all my vices and focus on improving myself, I have been on a straight and narrow path since. I met up with my ex and told her face to face everything I regretted in our relationship. She took it better than I ever could have expected and now we are potentially seeing each other again. Even if she didn't want to meet again all that weight was finally off my chest and there is nothing left to hide. I would say definitely tell your ex too but maybe focus on quiting weed and pmo for a considerable amount of time first. The clarity it brings to your mind will help you express yourself better. The girl will notice the difference in your energy too, if you want her to see that you have changed. Good luck brother!
  5. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    When your body is 125 years old and at the end of it's life span, yes.

    Keep making positive choices to improve your life. Posting here is one of them. Telling your girlfriend is another. You will not be able to control the outcome of the latter, but at least you'll have been honest.
  6. ThePeakWae

    ThePeakWae Fapstronaut

    You have to live like nobody else, to reach the peak you need self-discipline, dont seek passion, seek compassion.

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