Is there something wrong with me?

You in what I would call a compulsive loop where deep down you want to act one way but you're unable to get control of the ship as you're being controlled by your urges. Best advice I can give is try sit in more public spaces of your house where there's people and leave the phone behind then go straight to bed at night, no browsing. Had a super urge in bed last night, put my phone aside and slept. Woke up feeling great

 

Tell us about the events than happened before your relapse. There is always connection(wiring of neurons) to something.

 

At early stages our brain literally gets unconscious, what we are suppose to do is meaningleas to those involuntary brain action.

What you can do is 5~10 minutes of meditation(regularly) which will train your brain to be self conscious. You will able to resist this involuntary brain urge after few weeks of practice, yeah patience !