Is this a Relapse??

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Quaresma, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    Aaaaand one more thing: you helped yourself. All I did was ask questions. YOu have all the answers you need... although you may not know it yet.
     
  2. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your advice! You are right :)
     
  3. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man!
     
  4. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    I'm new to nofap, but I wouldn't consider it a relapse at all, since you're interacting and getting turned on by a real girl, not some stranger online.
     
  5. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    Do you think it is? Why or why not?
     
  6. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    I dont think so, because i didnt masturbate, didnt orgasm and also didnt watch porn.. i even didnt touch my penis or had the urge to PMO.. thats why i dont think its a relapse..
     
  7. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    So there you are. It's OK. Get your recovery together, and don't do stupid stuff.
     
  8. CMH05

    CMH05 Fapstronaut

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    I would say this is not a relapse. I'd say this is a healthy beginning to a relationship or whatever you want to lable it
     
    Quaresma likes this.
  9. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man!
    But what do you mean by stupid stuff??
     
  10. HipPete

    HipPete Fapstronaut

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    As long as you have a mindset on it being positive and healthy, it will do you no harm. Be wary of cravings and the chaser effect though. If she's comfortable sharing such intimate things with you, consider taking the next steps to reboot/rewire.
     
  11. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    Don't put yourself in the way of temptation. Don't do PSUBs. Don't hang out on Tinder, don't go chasing hot images on Facebook/Tumblr/Instagram/whatever. Don't test yourself. Don't lie to yourself about "I'm only going to look for a little bit, I swear."

    Maybe limit your screen time, or don't take the phone to the toilet.

    Stuff like that. Use your imagination.
     
    Quaresma likes this.
  12. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the tips bro!

    I feel that im changed. In the past when i saw a video or something I always masturbate. Now i dont have the urge like that anymore and i can manage it!

    Thanks for the help!
     
  13. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    I dont get it.. can you please explain it please??

    Thank you verry much!!
     
  14. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    And what is something like PSUB?? Can you give some examples??
    Thanks!!
     
  15. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    (Can I give some examples, he asks...)

    First, make sure you've looked up PSUB in the glossary at top of the page.

    Then, examples:
    • Lingerie ads
    • Swimsuit pics
    • Muscle girl pics
    • Glamour pics
    • Fashion pics (in some cases)
    • Belly dancers (one of MY favorites, when I was trying to relapse)
    • Image searches for:
      • Cleavage
      • Sideboob
      • Underboob
      • Midriff
    • And the like.
    Note that most of those will get through most porn blockers, which is why the smart, serious person attempting recovery will always have other recovery tools besides a porn blocker.
     
    Quaresma likes this.
  16. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man!
     
  17. Go spend time with this girl face to face dude!
     
  18. Quaresma

    Quaresma Fapstronaut

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    Yes thats what im gonna do!
    If i have sex with her.. is that a relapse?
    Because i want a 90 days without PMO to reboot/rewire.. im am now on day 67..
     
  19. bike-wrench

    bike-wrench Fapstronaut

    Hard to tell. I went a little longer than that without sex with my wife. For me the goal was to get back to normal sex with real people, not screens, so I don't think it was a relapse for me (and my counter is "free from PM", not O). There is the risk that the O, even with a real person, may lead to chaser effect leading you to PMO (I've seen guys complain of it on this forum).

    Keep an eye on things. There are no guarantees, and the cost of recovery is probably vigilance.
     
  20. LordPBA

    LordPBA Fapstronaut

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    it is an O, so you are no longer in PMO mode but in PM, that is still good
     
    kropo82, Quaresma and IntotheLight like this.

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