is this a relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by bamboozledDoggo, Feb 17, 2019.

  1. bamboozledDoggo

    bamboozledDoggo New Fapstronaut

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    today,day 43,i was extremely horny,i started looking at hookers on a site,i went out for a walk but this was a bd move bcause i called 7/8 of them,thank god they were expensive as shit,but a i watched at those pics,when i came home i even watched a 1,20 blowjob (almost soft porn no hard shit) video of one of them i was EXTREMELY hard about to explode,but then i compose myself and played a match of cs,the moment i closed the site i was sooo angry with myself i almost tore my t shirt,this felt like a complete failure to me even if haven't actually masturbated or ejaculated
     
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  2. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    If your goal is not to watch porn as well then yes it a relapse. I have no PMO in my counter so If I watch any sort of naked women I will zero the counter. Good luck on your journey.
     
  3. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Yep, it's a relapse in my book.
     
  4. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    It can be counted as a relapse, you spend much energy mentally like we do while M.
     
  5. Talalelsayed

    Talalelsayed Fapstronaut

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    It is a new fresh start for your off porn counter but you are still strong with M. I see you got better since your early start.
    Keep going.
     
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  6. bamboozledDoggo

    bamboozledDoggo New Fapstronaut

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    im still M free for 44 days,eve if yeastarday my brain went back to p for a brief moment.
    today i was sleeping in the afternoon and i dreamed about p i was super hard i felt blood rushing through my brain,but i haven't done anything,my phone was away from me,i noticed the days i don't get out/speak to others (where i basically feel lonely) i go back to P,in fact yestarday it was sunday and i was home bored,today i went to school and everything is fine no more cravings.
     
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  7. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Is this a reeeelapse, is it just fantasy... Caught on a landsliiide, no escape from reality.... (porn doesn't rhyme.. :/)

    Eh depends what you want. My goal is to not jerk off to porn, but sometimes I follow the impulse to look at it a couple minutes. To me that's not a relapse because that's how I defined my goal, you have to decide for yourself what you're trying to accomplish.
    However I don't get hard anymore when I follow the impulse to watch porn, because I know I won't jerk off anyway, I just skim through some videos and remember how none of it would be worth a relapse. But if you are "about to explode" I'd say your shadow side still very much desires to PMO. You should resolve that, figure out why, change it. Overcoming the biological reality of porn takes long enough, if you also have to fight your own will along the way it's much harder than it has to be. So figure out why you still want porn.
     
  8. Vet81

    Vet81 Fapstronaut

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    I won't comment on whether it's a relapse but for me personally, I looked at escort sites and justified that as "not porn" ...it's not hard core porn but it often would lead me to look for porn .
    And moreover, for me it's a fantasy driven thing , which I think causes me to continue to be turned on by fantasy much more than reality. So I'm defining my challenge as no adult content....
     

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