Is this considered a relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Nix_, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. Nix_

    Nix_ Fapstronaut

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    Im on day 4 now noPMO and i started to get some urges today. Nothing crazy.
    Anyway i was looking for a pdf file in my "downloads" folder and i accedentally found some porn pictures and i admit; i kinda opened one and looked at it for like 2 seconds and then closed it and deleted all the pics i found. So my question is this: does this affect my recovery? I mean i know its not a big deal but i guess it triggered the "porn" part of my brain that im trying to shut off so should i "reset my counter now"?
     
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  2. dboy18

    dboy18 Fapstronaut

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    I believe it is and it definitely affects your recovery
     
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  3. Nix_

    Nix_ Fapstronaut

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    Bummer.. but i wont beat myself up because it was out of my control. At least i cleared up the folder now. Better now than later i guess
     
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  4. dboy18

    dboy18 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. At least you did not go all the way.
     
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  5. I believe it Depends on you actually...

    What’s your goal?
    No pmo?
    I didn’t read that you did M or O, and honestly while you clean up your life you will have these kind of Challenges coming across old p or psubs.

    Your brain is triggered from things besides simple porn. It could be an emotional connection to a ex. It could getting mad.
    It could be to losing.

    Did you cherish it ?
    Did you fondle it in your mind?
    Did you start telling yourself how you “need “ it etc?
     
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  6. Nix_

    Nix_ Fapstronaut

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    Well i fully relapsed. i didnt even want to say this here because i feel like shit now, but i have to
     
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  7. Great update. I think you are being more honest — its the only way to clean up the trash is to acknowledge it. Not shame yourself... the emotions actually push you deeper into it.

    Don’t worry about the tracker for now just take time to check yourself out. Where are you? What do you need versus want? Quitting this isn’t hard. You just need. To remember streaks are steps.
     
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  8. JakeLange

    JakeLange Fapstronaut

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    I don’t mean to hijack this post. I’ve had similar situations happen. I have everyday triggers that are out in the real world. I won’t go into detail but just everyday things when I’m out and about. Entertaining those thoughts that come into my mind when I see those triggers is what sets me back almost every time.

    My question for you, how do you re-focus your attention off of those triggers? I know that sounds dumb because the answer is probably simply “you just do it.”

    Do any of you have any suggestions?
     
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  9. Nix_

    Nix_ Fapstronaut

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    You are right. Thank you for the support
     
  10. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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    "Porn is pain" - write that down somewhere! One day at a time, that's all. Keep logging on, and focus on your recovery. Soon you will be proud of yourself. God bless.
     
  11. Hey man! Good question!

    First I want to say, triggers are a “suggestion” to go and do something you know is not beneficial. Whether a SO or a SA or a PA, a trigger has no actual power over you provided you stay still.

    Imagine a McDonald’s commercial telling you about their newest burger fries; it’s a strong suggestion— but you don’t always go to McDonald’s every time you are triggered. Even if you love McDonald’s, right?

    I think I will try to quote the great @Infrasapiens who I think says: “if all I have to do to improve my pmo tracker is to do ‘nothing,’ then how can I fail?”

    Lol.

    You know music is made of notes and silence. When jumbled up out of order silence and notes sound terrible.

    When the pauses are correctly placed the silence makes sense and the notes have order and the song emerges.

    You don’t have to do anything man. Just practice making a deliberate pause in your porn-plans. The trigger will fade in and out until you decide what you want.

    Some people practice focusing on their breathing in order to help distract themselves from their minds screaming to go pmo.

    Some people do other activities that disrupt the cycle.

    Music is actually verified to interact with the same nodes in the brain stem that stimulate sexual activity.

    Others get up and dance .... there you can use music to intercept your Brains’ predefined pathway for pmo but exercise will help you release the endorphins which will tell the body to relax.

    I go to the gym and just work out until my libido or anxiety or urge is controllable. I end up at the gym at all times of the day and i enjoy that now. I am much stronger and using the anxious energy for something positive. I have a guitar and play that too on occasion solely as a stress release.

    I wish I could say I go read the Bible or something but I’m fairly compulsive still so I don’t have mental stamina to achieve that yet.

    The best deterrent to porn is a person that you can actually be open with. Intimate Connection is the antidote to porn.

    Just hanging out on nofap is really good. Journaling I have found has saved my ass. I have gotten so much support there that I fully recognize it. And I also have several APs and groups. There the triggers can be discussed , disarmed, and detonated.

    You got this bro.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2019
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  12. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I never thought I would become the great Infrasapiens someday.

    I wouldn't consider it a relapse, even if you opened it on purpose, you knew what you were doing didn't feel right so you stopped it. Some people think seeing a picture and feeling lust for it is a relapse, but it isn't, or at least it shouldn't be.

    If you are not asexual, you are going to feel lust, you are going to look at girls with desire, you are going to fantasize about having sex, and in my opinion there is nothing wrong with that.

    You knew when to stop before you reached the point of no return, you avoided a relapse. Feel proud of yourself.
     
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  13. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    First off, yes living a more active, social, and productive lifestyle is a good. But like you said, there are lots of everyday triggers, and no PMO increases your sensitivity to those triggers. Thus, if you're merely active without rewiring your mind, you're probably going to relapse. I found a few simple steps that rewired my brain not to relapse:
    1. set a reasonable specific and unchangeable goal like "I will go without any PMO until at least July 15."
    2. stay very alert to when you're being triggered.
    3. repeat that specific goal date as soon as you're triggered so you cannot break your commitment.
    4. Fourth is to activate "Jesus Mode", where you've gained the mental alertness and fortitude to never even look or think on anything in lust (can't stop yourself from seeing some stuff sometimes, but you look away instantly without peeking).
    With those you should survive, and the next part, the hard part, is learning to thrive.
     
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  14. @randomname3 “Super liked your Jesus-mode comment.”
     
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  15. JakeLange

    JakeLange Fapstronaut

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    @need4realchg @randomname3

    Thank you both! I’m sure your posts will help many others as well. You both helped me out, I am going to put those suggestions into practice and exercise more and really work at re-wiring my thinking habits.
    Thanks again.
     
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  16. JoeJoe12345

    JoeJoe12345 Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, I do not consider it a relapse. If you truly opened it by accident, then it was an accident. I do admire that you quickly deleted the rest. What makes that so special to me is that your instinct told you that it was not healthy and you did what you had to do to get rid of it. We are searching for a better life on here. We are looking for ways to be productive healthy contributors to society not what we did before. I con graduate you!
     
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