1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Is this dominant man culture contributing to P addiction?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by LoveIsAllWeNeed, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    I came across an interesting view on the principles man are taught on how to be a real man. Don't show any feelings, be dominant and tough on women etc. Would this contribute to P use and addiction, I wondered while watching this? I mean, P desensitizes you feelings and creates the idea of women being sex symbols to be used by men. What do you think?

     
  2. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Dominance is not an intelligent strategy for dealing with life. I would go further and ask how does this contribute to our view of how to reboot and recover? Is it a accident that a lot of people don't think much further beyond "techniques" that's based on will power? While they're good to do you look at something like working out or cold shower, they are by nature grit your teeth and use your WILL kind of things, which means you are using force. When we look at how the best people, the most disciplined people do that they actually have real knowledge around it beyond just forcing themselves to do something that doesn't feel good, it's a part of it but a small part - there's a systematic understanding aside from just pushing yourself.

    So I would say the basic approach of dominance also contributes to RECOVERY FAILURE. You have to learn about how things work in life according to their nature and not just try to push through whatever with a bare minimum level of understanding, and that includes ourselves and this simplistic tendency to think it's about identifying some simple strategy and just push and push to have dominance over it and force that to happen.

    It reminds me of this old video game: Caveman Ugh-Lympics. The same simplistic mindset that contributed to the addiction in the first place cannot be used to get out of it, remember the Einstein quote that we cannot use the same thinking that created the problem to solve it. That's basically what a lot of people are doing.
     
  3. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

    187
    427
    63
    I think that it’s quite the opposite.
     
  4. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    1,185
    1,609
    143
    Nothing wrong with being masculine, but the emphasis is wrong. It's not about domination over women, it's about domination over yourself. It's not about ignoring your feelings, or not talking about them. It's about acknowledging those feelings, but not letting them control your life or the way you treat people.

    I feel more like a real man when I abstain from pmo for a week than watching a woman be mistreated (by someone else) in a porn video.
     
  5. It's not exactly dominant to masturbate to the sight of another man coupling with a woman you'd like to have.
     
  6. Hope I'm not derailing this thread by asking you to kindly share what is your alternative to the brute-force tactic.
     
  7. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Remember every single time you feel an urge *what you are gaining* from letting it pass. Positive motivation is key!
     
  8. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    You have to essentially reverse engineer the process and come to a functional understanding. Instead of identifying force/dominance with power, it's the view that knowledge is power. In the moment of an urge some degree of willpower and effort is of course inevitably involved, but to prevent or reduce the intensity and frequency of having urges by taking the long view and having some structure around that is no doubt more economical.

    This is why I am doing the zeitgeber challenge, I find that by having the time structure that is not arbitrary but at least roughly corresponds to environmental cues of circadian entrainment feelings are more predictable, and it is more of a steady wave than sharp spikes that blindsides you. I've been doing this but just not as specific or as consistent as it is laid out in the challenge, so far so good.
     
  9. I think the proliferation of porn and its consequences are just pure capitalism. Perhaps more privacy and isolation as well as free time. People working on farms probably don't have time to jerk off for hours a day like I used to. But now everyone has a phone and a room, and that's enough.
     
  10. thinking_differently

    thinking_differently Fapstronaut

    1,219
    28,586
    143
    @LoveIsAllWeNeed
    I think it’s the other way round.
    P amongst alllllll the negative contents, also promotes Male Dominance through the acts shown in it. It is encourages infidelity, fornication.
    The youngsters who are watching this today are getting fascinated by various fetishes and Having seen an opportunity, will look to perform those in future.
    Worst Case Scenario, if this problem continues(I don’t think it will, due to the life saving idea of NoFap), we might see a re-emergence of the time before the Birth of Christ...
    There was this book which promoted prostitution, fornication around that...
    Dammmn I can’t recall its name, read about it while Studying Merchant of Venice...
    Our teaher gave us a brief reference about this book to explain the word ‘Licentious’.
    Does anyone know the name of that book?
     
  11. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

    74
    152
    33
    Women desire dominant males, infact its hard coded into them.

    Thats why girls stay with guys that cheat and treat them like trash. A disloyal Alpha is still more desirable than Mr. Nice guy bend over backwards beta. The old saying nice guys finish last is true. Is it right? No... but women are not attracted to weak men that are "too nice".

    Masculinity has been under attack for some generations now and instead we have the rise of the soy boy generation.
     
  12. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

    777
    1,219
    123
    I don’t think that’s the reason why they stay with them. A mind is a little more complex than that.

    people love to oversimplify what they don’t truly understand.
     
    LoveIsAllWeNeed likes this.
  13. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

    109
    136
    43
    You need a solid degree of self respect and strenght, those traits usually command respect and Is a dominant trait. There is a difference thought between harmlessness and monstrousness, I think you should strive not to be harmless, but have enough self control not to harm others, in the end it's always the same thing, a matter of balance.
     
  14. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    1,185
    1,609
    143
    Sort of - although, I notice that you acknowledge that there are many different types of man but only recognise one type of woman. Do you really think this is true? Some girls stay with guys that treat them badly, but they do not have happy relationships - either for the woman or a man. Do you want a girl to stay with you because she is too frightened and weak to leave? only a weak and insecure man wants such a woman.

    Women, just like men, have several forces at play when it comes to attraction - they can be ruled by their hearts, their heads, and their p****. And other things too. Her heart wants a guy who treats her right, listens to her and brings her gifts, and knows exactly what to say. Her head wants a businessman with a steady income and a practical, rational attitude; a handyman, a smart head on a strong pair of shoulders who can look after her. Her p**** wants a badboy rockstar who her friends are all jealous of and her parents don't approve of, with an arrogant swagger and acres of cool.

    A well balanced woman seeks a man who satisfies all of these urges. But they are just as capable of making poor decisions as we are. And of making compromises that they later regret.

    I do agree with this, though, and I think that masculinity/maleness is sometimes painted in such a poor light nowadays, it's no wonder that so many boys reject it. We must look to the past for a positive idea of masculinity, not grunting neanderthals fighting and drinking our way through life, but intellectual, practical, emotionally stable, quietly competent in all areas of life, dependable, honourable, courageous, knowledgable, .... these are NOT qualities that are granted to us by women, but ones that we must acquire for ourselves!
     
    thinking_differently likes this.
  15. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Some women do, some women don't!
     

Share This Page