Is this financial abuse?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Mar 25, 2018.

  1. I have a question for your consideration and input;

    Partner A earns $100,000 a year. They make sure all bills and rent are paid before they are due, often with a buffer to cover for future ups and downs. They work overtime when they can, and make efforts to create a savings account to deal with any big purchases. Partner A does a majority of the housework, even going so far as to let Partner B hire a cleaner to come in once a fortnight. Partner A has been supportive and encouraging of Partner B pursuing the dreams, goals, aspirations, etc, even when they're not always understandable.

    Partner B earns $40,000 a year - they could earn more, but have decided to only work four days a week because they were undertaking further education, but have since dropped out. Partner B has little understanding of budgeting, and has previously had issues with credit cards, but hasn't gotten one because Partner A asked them not to. Partner B has an expensive hobby, requiring custom equipment and travel interstate several times a year. Partner B is also exceedingly social, spending several times a week with friends. Partner B spends roughly $1,000 a week, after bills and rent are paid, and often eats into the savings.

    My question is, besides Partner A being a chump, is Partner A being financially abused by Partner B? I understand that financial abuse usually occurs when one partner controls what the other does, but in this case Partner A has been permissive, mostly out of a misplaced desire to make Partner B happy.

    Thoughts.
     
  2. Timeon

    Timeon Fapstronaut

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    Clarify the definition of "partner." Legally married? or unmarried living together?
     
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  3. Timeon

    Timeon Fapstronaut

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    From the stated scenario, I don't believe that is financial abuse as evidence by "Partner A has been supportive and encouraging of Partner B pursuing the dreams, goals, aspirations, etc, even when they're not always understandable."
    Partner A seems more responsible with finances however.
    The term abuse in a relationship generally is used as a means for power and control over the other spouse that is consistent with previous history. From the scenario stated, I don't see evidence of that. It seems like both partners need to communicate to one another of what they expect in the relationship financially since Partner B seems to have a more lavish lifestyle.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. Thank you, I was wondering whether the specific term 'financial abuse' could be used in this specific case, and nothing online pointed to anything like that. Communication is definitely an issue in the above relationship, but that is beyond this specific question.

    Thank you.
     
  5. MLMVSS

    MLMVSS Fapstronaut

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    More than anything, I think Person B is fiscally irresponsible rather than intentionally causing harm, just from seeing the issues they have with credit cards. They definitely need to communicate more, make a realistic budget, and for the love of all things holy, Person A shouldn't spoil Person B.

    If this is a marriage (which usually have joint bank accounts), then Person A and Person B should be side by side, but through this scenario, it sounds like A provides for B more than vice versa (as A brings the most net worth from his/her responsible spending, combined with A doing the housework). It might be hard, but A should confront B about his/her irresponsibility.
     
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