Is this flatline? Felt good for a week then all symptoms returned (PIED, HOCD, social anxiety)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Jreeze2015, Aug 12, 2015.

  1. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    When I go out I just feel even more anxious around girls because I know I have ed. It just sucks cus I feel so asexual. I'm a month into my reboot, 21 years old, masturbated daily since I was 12. I feel weak and passive. My energy levels are horribly low. I don't have energy to socialize. Is this a flatline? I haven't masturbated or looked at porn in a month since today. I have social anxiety when I go out. I miss the rush I use to get from girls. My friends are getting laid and I feel like I'm the only one that has this problem. They all seem to have much more energy and drive to talk to women, they are funnier than me, they just seem more out of their head and sociable. I feel like I'm always in my head analyzing situations, thinking about how I am acting, not expressing my opinion, I just feel depressed and like I'm stuck in one gear. Theirs no sexual energy in me at all. I hate feeling like this. Hoping this is flatline. Hoping that my HOCD and anxiety will go away. The HOCD wasn't here before porn, it happened when I was 19 after I noticed weaker erections to porn. Never escalated into gay porn but started having gay thoughts even though I'm not attracted to men. Now all I get all day is images of penis in my head that I cannot control
     
  2. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    Hey brother...

    I feel very similar to you, but I'm "just" at day 15 of the rebooting process. Feel zero arousal by woman. I remember, in my childhood, I had spontaneous erections to a woman, but now, I haven't.... but I'm battling with HOCD all the day too (just like you), and feel low energy and motivation... I hope these are just withdrawal symptons and they will go away with time....

    Keep going man! We can't give up!!
     
    W3sley and inthenow650 like this.
  3. @Jreeze2015

    Amazing questions/observation.

    1. About being tired. When your mind is fighting addiction, it costs you energy. It could be explanation for you being tired. It will go away. It did in my case and I have heard from other guys here that it has gone as well.

    2. About your friends being funnier and getting laid.

    Being funny is more about who you are and less about what you say.

    I can tell you that NoFAP can help you with deeper connection.

    From experience, one night stand is not always win-win.

    (there is nothing worse than wait for her to wake up to get rid of her)

    And life is not about getting laid. It can be bigger than that... ;-)

    3. I have seen a video that porn can actually cause a person to be gay-curious. Obviously you see there dicks all the time. It may have some effect on you.

    I am not interested in guys as well but the coolidge effect can force you in there... (looking for novelty)

    ------

    Relax, stay on the course and believe. It will get better.

    It always does ;-)
     
  4. FreedomIsHere

    FreedomIsHere Fapstronaut

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    Just keep pushing through man! It will all get better soon, keep it up!
     
  5. Diesel74

    Diesel74 Fapstronaut

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    This is NOT normal behavior for a 21 year old male! After 30 days, you should have lost the ed if PMO was the problem. Time to look elsewhere. Specifically, your diet. Obviously, if your seeing penises everywhere, and not attracted to women then your estrogen is too high. You need to cut soy, flax and dairy out of your diet. Just be aware that it can take an entire year for your body to remove the estrogens. There is no quick fix. Good luck.
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I do not believe this to be true @Diesel74. Upon what evidence do you base this assertion?
    I do not believe this to be true @Diesel74. Upon what evidence do you base this assertion?
     
  7. Diesel74

    Diesel74 Fapstronaut

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    If you were to ask this same question IGY, my response would be have your hormone levels checked and get on testosterone...but your already on testosterone, and there is no reason for a 21 y.o. to get on testosterone. If he wants to get his hormones in check, he needs to taught, or learn about estrogen dominence, xenoestrogens, and phytoestrogens. If your looking for solid data, (which I know you are) its scarce, because the goverment does not fund this research.
     
  8. Pixelated Victory

    Pixelated Victory Fapstronaut

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    There is a good chance that you might be flatlining, but that is totally normal for how many days in you are. Do not view your lack of sexual interest in girls as "well I might be gay then" because, no, you are just kicking your addiction's ass and it's not asking for a dopamine rush as often anymore. Keep pushing forward bro. Devour the days without P/M/O like you would devour one of your favorite meals. ED WILL go away eventually as will HOCD. Never look back and keep pushing forward man.
     
  9. James232

    James232 Fapstronaut

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    Day 60 for me today; also in flat-line. I can't say from experience but I've heard TONS of guys say that it passes and you 'feel alive' for the first time in however long it is that you've been PMOing. Back in late July I got a glimpse of this. My social anxiety was gone, my motivation was unreal, I felt more balanced, comfortable in my own skin, couldn't give two fucks what anyone thought of me, I was fully expressing myself without fear for the first time I can even remember. Getting straight shit-faced for 3 days on a camping trip for my birthday kinda pushed me right back into a flat-line. Been here since August 2nd; but I'm not worried. It WILL pass bro; just wait er' out!
     
    pranav02 likes this.
  10. Jreeze2015

    Jreeze2015 Fapstronaut

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    That's crazy you say that man because I had a glimpse of that last week too. I'd say for about 4-5 days I felt on top of the world. It's like I WANTED to be social, to talk to people, to be around women. I felt almost magnetically attracted to them. I haven't felt that way in a while. I had no intrusive gay thoughts, my social anxiety was gone, I was making solid eye contact with everyone, people actually liked talking to me. I was so hyped that I was finally feeling like this again. I even had the balls to go apologize to my ex girlfriends dad for breaking his daughters heart and hurting her. I felt as a man I owed an apology to him even though his daughter is well over me and has moved on. For those five days I felt like I could do anything. I wasn't afraid of pursuing a girl, I WANTED to pursue them. Before this during my porn addiction I was too anxious, too hesitant, didn't know what to say. During those 5 days it's like I didn't have to think about what to say, I just said it. It's a feeling that's quite hard to explain but I knew something was different in me. My energy for life was through the roof. After those 5 days however, for some reason I woke up and felt like that same old addicted me. I started having gay intrusive thoughts again, my anxiety around people was back up, I was hesitant, passive, didn't want to talk to any girls, wanted to just be home and sleep. I don't know why I got a taste of what life was like without all those problems only to have it taken away from me. I truly with all of me hope life will be like those 5 days all the time. For once in a long long time I felt BALANCED. I didn't care what people thought of me, I spoke what was on my mind, I felt masculine and confident, I felt like there was something to live for. I will do whatever it takes to feel like that again
     
    lifesgood, James232 and kriss93 like this.
  11. kriss93

    kriss93 Fapstronaut

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    My story is similar to yours...I have 2-3 weeks in 2014 september -october, when I'm TRULY FELT HEALED. But now, I'm on day 17 on nofap, but no desire to women, and have very instrusive gay thoughts....If I can guess now, I would said that I'm gay (Because in this reboot process (this is my first serious process) I'm started to have emotionally thinking about being gay, like I never did before...), but in deep down I KNOW I liked women in my whole life, my romantic fantasies were always women...but now when I'm trying to do some romantic fantasy about women, I feel nothing...It's a very scary thing....I also do whatever to feel like in that 2-3 weeks in 2014 september-october.... I hope my desires about woman will come back...(I remember I have always wanted to hug, when I see a beautiful girl, but now, nothing....I don't feel desire)
     
  12. crushurcravings

    crushurcravings Fapstronaut

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    IGY is way too nice to you here. I mean wtf is this even? Rebooting may take up to 2-3 years if sexual conditioning was the issue due to excessive porn use (PIED).
    I've already hit my 10month mark and I'm finally able to have sex - Although not anywhere near end of recovery.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2015
  13. IGY

    IGY Guest

    @Diesel74 - this sounds suspiciously like a conspiracy theory! Even if it is scarce you must be able to reference it to substantiate your bizarre assertions. See what I mean?
     
  14. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Thank you @crushurcravings and you are spot on. Btw, congratulations on the improvements you've made so far. Stick with the recovery journey my friend. IGY :)
     
    crushurcravings likes this.
  15. Diesel74

    Diesel74 Fapstronaut

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    Alright, this might help some folks out, so Ill get you guys started:

    First enviromental estrogens are becoming a big problem, especially with a recycleable water supply. You can read up on that here. http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist....vironmental-estrogens-on-reproductive-organs/

    Its not just the water that is causing problems, xenoestrogens are in soaps, shampoos, toothpastes, cologne, deoderants, many household cleaners. All of these these things have a subtle effect on the endoctrine system, but they add up and are overwhelming mens, womens and a great deal of other species endoctrine systems.

    http://scholar.google.com/scholar_u...RqDdlFoJPM8WIMpv6lsuaDTcA&nossl=1&oi=scholarr

    And it gets far more distruptive when you figure in phytoestrogens. Phytoestrogens are what is found in almost every food at the grocery store. They are found in very high quanties in most processed foods and astronomically high quantites in soy and flax products. And all these this effect the labido and cause ED.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14972507

    The concentrations are getting so high in that even young men like the guys on here are having problems. I would like to be able to tell you guys how to avoid these enviromental estrogens, but, they are everywhere! In the air, water, food, household products, plastic, clothing...pretty much everything you can think of. This is all pretty new to me, and like I said, there is not a whole lot of info available.
     

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