Is this is a life worth living?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by R92B, Dec 5, 2016.

  1. Yes life prior to nofap was horrible; ridden with anxiety, depression and horrendous acne - since stopping it the anxiety has diminished and I look great and get more attention because of it.

    However in order to sustain this and maintain my new life I am NOT allowed to ejaculate. My body appears to be allergic to the bodily function in that I suffer so tremendously, visibly and mentally, in the form of anxiety/acne.

    I am now on day 31 and all I can think about it sex, I am irritable, on edge and the horniest man on the planet - is this really a way to live for the rest of my life? My balls constanty feel heavy and as if they're gonna explode and I leak precum every time I'm even slightly aroused.

    I curse God for making me in this way - I know guys who relieve themselves daily and suffer ZERO side effects. I guess this is the hand I've been dealt.

    Right now I don't know what's worse; incredible sexual frustration or being anxious spotty but sexually satisfied.

    Sorry for the rant and I'm sure no one cares; I just wanted an outlet.
     
    Green_Tea likes this.
  2. Sorry can someone move this I didn't mean to post in the success stories section
     
  3. Audere est Facere

    Audere est Facere Fapstronaut

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    Hi chef boy,

    don't think no one cares.. we're all here together, and whenever you say something, a lot of us can related to what you're saying!

    first of all, what you have been able to do is not a small feat. I respect you for doing it!

    You mentioned the two states you were in? The first state was much worse, so try and see the relative delta. You're getting better, and often the process before improvement is the hardest...

    I am pretty sure that the guys who relieve themselves daily are suffering side effects and not the best that they could have been, and they may be sacrificing their full potential..

    You are meant for greatness, but the path to greatness is not always the easiest. I really hope and am also confident you will start feeling better as you also start being more optimistic!!

    Your thoughts become your realities! Focus on the bright side!
     
    vibemaker and Chef Boy like this.
  4. fiend92

    fiend92 Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean, man.
    When I didn't ejaculate, my skin was the best in years.
    Now I break out no matter if I do it myself or with my girl.
     
    Chef Boy likes this.
  5. It's like a cruel joke. I find simple day to day living so frustrating when I've got a month of semen built up. It's enough to drive you crazy yet the results are amazing
     
  6. Audere est Facere

    Audere est Facere Fapstronaut

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    chef boy.. try not to think that you've got a month of semen built up.

    This is not biologically true. This is like implying that you need to release daily. You may feel this way, but it's simply not the case.

    Your semen count is determined by your age and sexual health, not the release.
     
    Headspace, thefaptrap and Chef Boy like this.
  7. fiend92

    fiend92 Fapstronaut

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    Interestingly, I feel completely different.
    My sex drive and libido goes to zero after a month.
    Maybe You just need more time to calm down.
     
    Chef Boy likes this.
  8. Sans_Fear

    Sans_Fear Fapstronaut

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    I am in the opposite conundrum. I have been indifferent to the any glares or temptations. Needless to stay, I am relishing these moments of inner detachment. I see them as human beings.
     
  9. Ursamajor

    Ursamajor Fapstronaut

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    well 31 days is not bad. im on 30 i think. i do not count. first time i did nofap was for 25 days. my balls felt like i get kicked in the balls every 10min. it hut like hell. after 25 days i masturbated because i was so horny i can not tell you. now im on day 30 and i feel good. i do not feel need for sex, i have some fantasies but nothing much changed. my skin feels like bulletproof and is not so sensitive. the energy level is not so high as it was around day 10 to 20. i have a bit more stamina for walking. yesterday i did 5km like it was 100m. i feel more calm and secure about myself but i do not notice any attarction by women. the woman i like does not see me so... nothing much changed in this area. and i feel more positive and determined talking to people. so after 30 days this is what i notice. 2 days ago i was with my friend and we saw after 6months. she sid that i changed a lot and i look different, more mature. we will se what the time will bring my ways
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  10. Andyst343

    Andyst343 Fapstronaut

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    I know its difficult at the moment, I have been where you are I know that feeling.
    Please trust me it will pass, you are just going through normal withdraw, everybody goes through this.
    You are at a important stage, the feelings your getting are signs your brain is being forced to rewire.
    Stay strong, you wont regret it, things are so much better on the other side..
     
    Chef Boy likes this.
  11. shanky kumar

    shanky kumar Fapstronaut

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    bro i had exact feeling 3 days before coz of 30 days streak and i broke out and fapped now regretting , it will make ur life a hell . dont fap strive through your urge . u can do it . do anything but dont fap.
    PS - avoid usage of internet specially youtube as u might get sink in Porn SUbstitute , stay healthy .
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  12. TheMeInMe

    TheMeInMe Fapstronaut

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    This is so fascinating, how our body reacts and how we feel. Chef boy keep going hard brother! You got this keep pushing forward!
     
  13. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

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    Do you spend a lot of time fanticizing ?
     
  14. SLIPZ19

    SLIPZ19 Fapstronaut

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    You should read 'Wild at Heart' by John Eldredge.
     
    LifeWorthLiving!!! likes this.
  15. Yea I fantasise a lot which I realise is the problem; I have managed to cut that down a lot by controlling what I allow myself to think about.

    I will look into that book, thanks
     
  16. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Chef Boy - hang in there!

    First - for a long time I thought that semen would only release through orgasm. This myth would undercut any time I tried to quit PMO. I soon learned that it is also released through urination. At times you may see it in toilet water. It is subtle but visible.

    Someone else brought up the question of interior imagination or fantasy. We can close the laptop on the desk but keep the laptop of imagination going. This keeps dopamine running strong and recovery does not happen.

    The way that I handle interior imagination, if a memory or fantasy kicks in, is to speak to the limbic system with my intellect. I will tell it "PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. NOPE, NOT GOING THERE ".

    The primitive part of your brain, the limbic system, can try to boost your mood by bringing up images - the images lead to dopamine release. But that part of your brain cannot reason and see that this will not help in the long run. It needs the guidance of the intellect, the guidance of reason.

    Cold showers also helped me use my intellect over my limbic system. I did 100 days straight and it let my intellect battle with the limbic system. The limbic system wanted to avoid the cold like it would kill me. My intellect had to tell it otherwise. My intellect won.

    I cut fantasy immediately and am very careful about what I view on TV and online. I don't browse either, because porn is looking for me, to trigger me into a slip. I know where I'm going when online or on TV. I get in and I get out. TV and Internet are like bad neighborhoods. If you wander you will get mugged.

    You are not cursed. Life is worth living.

    GOD'S PEACE
     
    thefaptrap, vibemaker and Chef Boy like this.
  17. Where did you mean to post? Will be happy to move it for you.
     
  18. Rebooting section please. Definitely not a success story haha

    Thanks for the support guys, day 32 and still on it
     
  19. JayD19

    JayD19 Fapstronaut

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    Well, I felt the same at Day 31. Now at Day 105, it does not bother me anymore. If you think about sex means you really want to meet a lot of women. So, channel that sex drive into meeting women.

    I'm not saying it's easy but if you around long enough, your thoughts will convert into actions and who knows, your thoughts of sex will materialize to real sex. It's not a bad thing what you're facing. It's just that your body has never been so horny before in all the times you were PMO'ing. I felt the same.
     

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