Is this porn induced or just psychological?

DryRiser

DryRiser

Fapstronaut
Here's my story, followed by my question... that I would kindly appreciate your opinions on:
48 year old male, estranged wife, and I have 3 kids.
Wife turned off sex and intimacy 6 years ago and I immersed myself in porn and MO. I've never really been into vanilla porn before this but very much masturbated regularly, and often to lesbian porn. This has then developed to femdom, and femdom lesbians, and then over the last few years, erotic stories with femdom lesbians (is this actually porn?). I've never progressed beyond this like a have read some people have, and I have never needed this more than once per day - just a release.

I started creating my own femdom stories involved girls i found sexy in real life - this really got me going.

Anyway, progress forward to 2024, I couldn't get aroused to my wife, and more recently with a new partner. In between these two women I have tried NoFap/PMO for a total of 60 days but just relapsed.

Having read some of the stories/personal accounts on here I don't necessarily associate some of the symptoms of porn addiction with myself... i.e. brain fog, lethargy, unable to concentrate etc. My only symptom I see is ED when with a woman.

So... is this PIED, or is it just psychological (or is that the same thing), or is it simply that i'm now only turned on by femdom?

Thanks for reading
 
Yea I started with vanilla, always liked the seductive type of women though. Then lesbian, then lesbian strap on. Then femdom strap on. I’d like the excitement and anxiety it caused seeing a stunning woman confidant and taking the lead. I’d always want to the dude to be out the shot as much as possible and think they were weird gimps. But the fact is I’d want to be in their Possition. The shame from being aroused by this led me to more taboo stuff ie tstuff , joi and then to hypno crap etc. I’ve worked really hard at leaving the tens escorts. Facing up to things in therapy with trauma etc. But I wonder if there’s just a part of me that likes to see a woman with a strap on. Am I just battling something that is a natural turn on to me? Other days I love to take control and doing the f..cking and pleasing the woman. But if I’m warn out and feel I need an escape nurturing and some fun, is it the bad to like a hot woman take control? The problem is it can quickly escalate into self trashing crap. Poppers, being talked down to Called a b!tch etc which defiantly isn’t healthy. Other times with doms seeing them confident and owning their dominance turns me on to a point where I want to f them so badly a
 
Counting days away from certain kinks etc just made them stronger for me. But working on trauma and feeling the pain. Speaking more nicely to myself helped me start putting a gap between the trashy stuff
 
Bro I tell you there porn actresses are not important there webcam girls they fake emotions for money they create onlyfans for money and in fact they go there for attention and because they had complexes before they divorce men for money to get more and without that they don't need you. they don't need you they are scum who destroy morals and spiritual components they turn men into slaves who can't do without a piece of pussy they don't get pleasure even I saw a porn actress interview where she has a man but she fucks all men disgustingly.
 
DryRiser said:
Here's my story, followed by my question... that I would kindly appreciate your opinions on:
48 year old male, estranged wife, and I have 3 kids.
Wife turned off sex and intimacy 6 years ago and I immersed myself in porn and MO. I've never really been into vanilla porn before this but very much masturbated regularly, and often to lesbian porn. This has then developed to femdom, and femdom lesbians, and then over the last few years, erotic stories with femdom lesbians (is this actually porn?). I've never progressed beyond this like a have read some people have, and I have never needed this more than once per day - just a release.

I started creating my own femdom stories involved girls i found sexy in real life - this really got me going.

Anyway, progress forward to 2024, I couldn't get aroused to my wife, and more recently with a new partner. In between these two women I have tried NoFap/PMO for a total of 60 days but just relapsed.

Having read some of the stories/personal accounts on here I don't necessarily associate some of the symptoms of porn addiction with myself... i.e. brain fog, lethargy, unable to concentrate etc. My only symptom I see is ED when with a woman.

So... is this PIED, or is it just psychological (or is that the same thing), or is it simply that i'm now only turned on by femdom?

Thanks for reading
Click to expand...
Everyone will disagree with me, but I searched "Does masturbation and/or porn cause ED." Two very credible medical sites said they do not cause PIED.
I would say your problem is mental or emotional, and maybe your are too worried about the femdom stuff to function well with vanilla sex. If you think the porn and MO are causing it, stop doing it. Sexual attraction/arousal can be a tricky thing as we get older. Even simple stress, or lack of sleep can cause ED.
 
This is poor speculation, but I would wager that it is PIED in a mostly-physical-way, and is probably exacerbated by -- or possibly rooted in -- stress, anxiety, etc. Psychosomatic shit is real. Chicken and egg type shit. Physically, though, the synapses in your brain are probably burnt out. Dopamine receptors need healing. Chemical balance. Calm mind. Open heart. Peace of soul.

Sorry about your troubles and sorry about your relapse, but 60 days is still great. I often say that it's not about the streak, it's about the percentage. If you're batting 1000% and you strikeout once, you still have a high batting average. Hope you can pick up where you left off. What did you do that worked?
 
lol, i masturbated to femdom exclusively from ages 11-21. had ed. quit porn, ed healed in 5 months.
then, 5 years later, started again. fast forward to 2018; ed. quit porn, ed healed in 5 months again.
i now have ed again. guess why?
 
You are lucky you didn't end up being a cuckold like me. You must realize that you are lucky because porn lead you to this path which is least dangerous considered to other sections. Now coming to your problem, this is a sub conscious programming only, you can change it with meditation and affirmation daily. Your machine won't turn on by women for next 50-60 days and that time the brain will reset and make you a real man.Keep this in mind watching femdom or other shits make you a loser infront of women . Your today is a result of what you did yesterday. All the best man.Keep the fight and remember you must always try again.
 
elijah1 said:
lol, i masturbated to femdom exclusively from ages 11-21. had ed. quit porn, ed healed in 5 months.
then, 5 years later, started again. fast forward to 2018; ed. quit porn, ed healed in 5 months again.
i now have ed again. guess why?
Click to expand...
That does seem pretty cut and dry doesn't it?
 
nomo said:
Everyone will disagree with me, but I searched "Does masturbation and/or porn cause ED." Two very credible medical sites said they do not cause PIED.
Click to expand...

The fact that credible sites say something doesn’t settle the issue once and for all. It’s not unusual for medical consensus to lag behind new research and PIED is a very recent development.
Doctors are trained in an intense and rigid style of teaching that emphasizes cramming lots of facts in a short period of time and many don’t have the time to learn about new developments in the field.
It’s wise to trust the experts but when it’s about your own health, sometimes you need to be more cautious and understand the limitations of the field.
There are more and more studies coming out every day confirming it. Check this study by the US navy https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/new-navy-study-reveals-link-between-porn-use-and-ed/
 
elijah1 said:
Well, the issue is that masturbation and porn, in regular or low amounts, will NOT cause ed.
Click to expand...

The issue is that if we really knew how much a safe amount of porn consumption was, there wouldn’t be skyrocketing rates of ED among young men.

NoFap is a simple proposition: try cutting out PMO completely for 90 days and see if it helps your ED. No halfway, no compromise, no negotiating. Just do it. If it helps, and most find that it cures them completely, then ask yourself what benefit PMO brings to your life that you’re willing to risk being impotent for it. Is even one PMO session worth it?
 
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Life_of_Socrates_777 said:
This is poor speculation, but I would wager that it is PIED in a mostly-physical-way, and is probably exacerbated by -- or possibly rooted in -- stress, anxiety, etc. Psychosomatic shit is real. Chicken and egg type shit. Physically, though, the synapses in your brain are probably burnt out. Dopamine receptors need healing. Chemical balance. Calm mind. Open heart. Peace of soul.

Sorry about your troubles and sorry about your relapse, but 60 days is still great. I often say that it's not about the streak, it's about the percentage. If you're batting 1000% and you strikeout once, you still have a high batting average. Hope you can pick up where you left off. What did you do that worked?
Click to expand...

I was mostly okay with it nofap, but clearly missed the orgasm and edging. What made me relapse was a particularly depressing moment one day that made me feel sad and down. Then i fapped and felt even worse. I quickly worked out what was driving it, it's either boredom or unhappiness, so now I'm trying to keep my hands busy and eating healthily, exercising reg, and seeing friends, to keep my mood up
 
tawwab1 said:
The fact that credible sites say something doesn’t settle the issue once and for all. It’s not unusual for medical consensus to lag behind new research and PIED is a very recent development.
Doctors are trained in an intense and rigid style of teaching that emphasizes cramming lots of facts in a short period of time and many don’t have the time to learn about new developments in the field.
It’s wise to trust the experts but when it’s about your own health, sometimes you need to be more cautious and understand the limitations of the field.
There are more and more studies coming out every day confirming it. Check this study by the US navy https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/new-navy-study-reveals-link-between-porn-use-and-ed/
Click to expand...

Interesting, and yes it's a topic where they don't have all the answers. This from the Navy article "Proving causation between pornography and sexual dysfunction was outside the scope of this study, however the researchers acknowledge the significant link between the two." They say there is a link, but they don't know the cause. In other words "a strong association is not a proof of causation." ED is complex in itself, how much of ED is caused by mental issues and how much is physical issues is a big component of linking ED to porn.

The bottom line is life is probably better without porn, therefore one of the reasons I'm here.
 
The common theme I see on here is (like me) open started at an early age but what always amazes me is the fluctuations of variety of what types of porn we are addicted to. Things I used to get me off I find repulsive now and things I found repulsive then get me off now. Ultimately for me I started to get aroused in cartoons in knowing that someone else at that moment no matter what they were using as an outlet was in desperate need to get their brains soaked in dopamine. In that moment they were their true honest selves and they were just like me with getting to the same goal
 
Devilinme2 said:
The common theme I see on here is (like me) open started at an early age but what always amazes me is the fluctuations of variety of what types of porn we are addicted to. Things I used to get me off I find repulsive now and things I found repulsive then get me off now. Ultimately for me I started to get aroused in cartoons in knowing that someone else at that moment no matter what they were using as an outlet was in desperate need to get their brains soaked in dopamine. In that moment they were their true honest selves and they were just like me with getting to the same goal
Click to expand...
Using porn is a coping mechnism to self-soothe, in the time of feeling overwheling emotions and not finding a healthier alternative to deal with the overwheling feelings.

At least it was like that in the childhood, when addiction and changes in the brain/body was happening for the worse...
 
Chrispl said:
Using porn is a coping mechnism to self-soothe, in the time of feeling overwheling emotions and not finding a healthier alternative to deal with the overwheling feelings.

At least it was like that in the childhood, when addiction and changes in the brain/body was happening for the worse...
Click to expand...
It is it’s a self soothing coping mechanism.
It’s something we turned to an order to deal with things.
Because we’re not ready for it it’s like hugging a teddy bear when you’re little when you’re scared you hug your teddy bear. Now when we’re adults, we hug our penises or stroke our vaginas. Because that is soothing for us.
And we have to break ourselves of this problem.
 
stmos said:
It is it’s a self soothing coping mechanism.
It’s something we turned to an order to deal with things.
Because we’re not ready for it it’s like hugging a teddy bear when you’re little when you’re scared you hug your teddy bear. Now when we’re adults, we hug our penises or stroke our vaginas. Because that is soothing for us.
And we have to break ourselves of this problem.
Click to expand...
This unhealthy method of soothing/regulating emotional well being is outdated and should be replaced with a healthy method :)
 
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