Is this really worth the effort?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TMWF, Nov 30, 2016.

  1. TMWF

    TMWF New Fapstronaut

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    The first time I heard about this new "experimental trend" was from a local news website.
    The guy who stopped "doing what we do" for a whole year,
    said he felt like he had "superpowers".
    Being the realistic person that I am, I didn't quite buy it,
    but the idea of stopping the known manly habit did intrigue me.
    So I gave it a shot.

    So anyway, this has been my 45th day since the last time.
    I must admit I have never been a real addict (not more than once a day), so it has not been that much of a challenge for me to stop, but I still wanted to give it a shot,
    since I am 25, and almost non-experienced (never had a real girlfriend, nor slept with a woman, though I did get really close).

    I have no real explanation to my situation, since i'm a good looking, social guy, with lots of friends from both genders, but a bit more respectful than others and a bit more picky.

    So my question to you good people is-

    Is this really worth it?
    I can't really feel any of the big effects people here are talking about (more attraction, and so on),
    and it is definitely not getting easier since there is no way to release the tension and frustration like back in the old days.
    Should I keep on doing this?
    Is this experiment going to solve my long going problem?

    Comments will be much appreciated.
    Sincerely,
    TMWF.
     
    Frühlingstimme likes this.
  2. ILoathePorn

    ILoathePorn Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    It might be a good idea to write down some goals for yourself. Why did you start this journey, what do you expect from this journey and reflect on past thoughts and feelings throughout your journey so far. It could be that maybe you are ready to move on to the next step, whatever that may be. I'm not sure if you PMO'd or just M'd, but you can make this journey to be what you want. I hope that these are too vague of answers, but ultimately it is up to you to decide what you want your goals to be and if you have reached them, then to come up with a plan of what you want to achieve from there. I really do hope this helps. Stay strong!
     
    Warrior Within, LateSpring and TMWF like this.
  3. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    It's definetely worth it even though you probably won't experience most or only mild version of the superpowers. NoFap makes you more confident. But it's not like you become extremely confident in every part of your life.
    The think with NoFap is that you return to your natural sexual self. That's why people have completely different experiences with NoFap. Some become very motivated to go out and be social and to pick up girls but porn always stole that motivation from them. If you're a picky guy you probably won't be the guy who picks up girls regularly. If you get looks from girls it's probably because you're good looking. That's normal. NoFap doesn't change that much about your looks. You might appear more confident.

    I'd suggest that you masturbate if you think you're rebooted (completely independent from having to watch or think about porn to get off) but only to your own fantasies that are not influenced about porn. If you have nothing where you can redirect this sexual energy it's best you let it out completely without porn.

    I'm 23 years old and never had a girlfriend just like you and NoFap didn't change anything about that. I didn't become more outgoing or even more motivated to chase girls. My confidence rose and I became more disciplined. That's what NoFap gave me. But I can't say what it will give you.

    I'd suggest that you focus on rebooting right now. Don't expect any benefits from NoFap, just go with it. Not watching Porn is a benefit in itself. You save a lot of time that you can spend more wisely.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
    Low, Sailor93 and TMWF like this.
  4. TMWF

    TMWF New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both for your answers.
    I am fully aware that my ever-lasting "status quo",
    is a direct result of my own decisions.
    I have rejected girls which I precieved as not attractive (honestly, I think any average guy would have thought that about these girls), and I have held myself back from approaching some girls that were great people,
    but still, weren't attractive enough, but not ugly, just normal.
    Now, after 45 days, I find myself rethinking about my standards.
    Now I can finally think about lowering them, just a bit.

    Which leads me to another question-
    If I now find girls that were less attractive to me before this process as "attractive enough",
    is this really me? Or are those my hormones telling me to hurry up?
    And if I release them by some manner, will these thoughts go away?
    Because honestly I think that's a good step towards a serious connection with someone.
    Has anyone here ever thought about this before?
     
  5. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest to you that you become friends with those girls who are interested in you even if you are not attracted to them at the moment. Attraction isn't just looks and from my experience girls often become more attractive after getting to know them more closely. I have experienced that a few times that I didn't find a girl attractive when I met them in the frist place but as I got to know them I suddenly found them attractive. That's just my experience. Maybe it's completely different for you. But not giving any of the "ugly chicks" a chance is quite unfair when they could actually be a very attractive girl when it comes to their personality, their body or facial language or other things about them. Looks is what we perceive first and that's why many people who are not that good looking get left out. That doesn't mean they are unattractive as a whole.
     
    Sailor93 likes this.
  6. Biggie25

    Biggie25 Guest

    Hi tmwf,

    Similar to you i am 25, fairly attractive and have a good social group.

    The reason i am attempting to nofap is becauze i believe i have desensitized myself to real life sex acts. From a very early age i have had a foot fetish and have viewed differant fetish material.

    My realization ppint was when i recently met a girl i really liked and we started dating but i just couldnt maintain my erection and once went limp inside her during sex and due to this the relationship broke down.

    What i want to achieve is a healthy sexual relationship were i value sexual contact from a person rather than wanting to watch porn.

    I hope this helps.
     
  7. Vincent Awareness 2 Porn

    Vincent Awareness 2 Porn Fapstronaut

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    If it is a challenge for you to stop, then are you not addicted?

    Dive deeper and understand were you're at be very honest with yourself.
    That's how you will succeed.

    Create a vision on how a life without porn will look like.
    Write it down. This will pull you thru, instead of you having to push. Pushing needs willpower and that never lasts.

    So get honest and get clear on your vision!

    Connect with me!
     
  8. NFjourney2016

    NFjourney2016 Fapstronaut

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    Your title is something I question myself too.

    Im a social and fun guy for the most bit. Not really that shy and my social skills are pretty good actually.

    But yes. Yes it is worth it. If you can control your lust, you can control anything.
     
    Bran Cao likes this.
  9. Vincent Awareness 2 Porn

    Vincent Awareness 2 Porn Fapstronaut

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    Loved it!

    It's all about becoming aware of life itself!

    You're awesome. Keep growing!
     
  10. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    @TMWF: Interesting question, which I end up doing myself after each relapse*. Here is my humble opinion: Even if you are not addicted, nor experienced the same benefits most people get from NoFap, that doesn't mean you are going empty handed. For me pornography is almost like Junk Food: you can eat it every now and then, but each time you eat fast food, it negatively impacts your health no matter how good that might be. So, if you want to work even better than now, porn is not an option

    * I wish I could tell this from the "rebooted" side of the conversation, but I can still offer my humble advice from the "still addicted" site :)
     
  11. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    NoFap, in my opinion, is a kickstart, it encourages you to look over your life. Not so much that not PMO-ing will literally turn you into an (even more) attractive and confident person if you never were one (or are to a lesser extent). It helps you realize other addictions in your life that you may have (Internet and social media browsing, playing video games primarily), that you do not go out enough, that you do not exercise enough, that you do not spend your time sensibly.

    If you don't put in the effort in those aspects, then NoFap will be of little use to you.

    Not PMO-ing is making you more horny. Your attraction at this point is purely physical. And unless the girl is going to have great personality traits to make up for it, as time passes you're definitely not going to be happy about your relationship.
     
    Sailor93 likes this.
  12. Bran Cao

    Bran Cao Fapstronaut

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    very cool! You show me a new level for Nofap!
     

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