Is watching pornography with my gf ok

It depends on what you are looking for in terms of recovery. Personally it is not something that I would do at all. People don't gain anything long lasting from porn. Some people do use it to add some extra something to the bedroom, but you have to be able to find a healthy balance and not go overboard.

For clarification, are you the one who wants to watch porn together or is she? Or is it both of you? I think that if you are attempting a no PM reboot, then if it is just you that wants to watch it then you should not. However if she expresses interest in watching it with you, then perhaps have a talk with her about it. It is important for a reboot to limit exposure to porn and any false stimulants. A lot of people on here keep themselves 100% free of all stimulation, no exceptions at all. However, it is your reboot, and you make the final decision. I know that some rebooters follow their own reboot guidelines.

For example, I talked with my girlfriend, and I told her that I am ok with masturbating over snap when we don't have time to see each other. I do not masturbate on my own, I do not engage in any porn whatsoever, and I do not make this exception often. From my perspective, as long as you are limiting your stimulating experiences to times with your partner, you are working towards developing a stronger connection to them. Don't make the exception too often.

My biggest piece of advice and one that I apply to myself: monitor yourself and your urges. If you watch porn with your partner and you aren't feeling any better after a while of rebooting, then it may be time to go stricter and not do porn at all for the duration of your reboot in order to have a more effective recovery.

In the end, I would advise you not to watch porn at all. However, some people are able to watch it without falling into the addiction trap. Monitor yourself if you choose to do it with your partner, and cut it out of your life if you are not feeling like you are getting control over yourself as your reboot progresses.

It is your recovery, and it is up to you to experiment and discover what is effective and what will hold you back. I wish you the best

 

I think its a little odd to need to watch other people having sex on a screen in order to have sex.

 

Agreed @Morior Invictus. It's what I outlined in my reply. I'm not sure if the OP and his SO need it, it sounds like they are just using it as something extra. I'm still skeptical about including porn in a reboot at all, but there is more than one way to heal yourself. Some ways are definitely more effective than others though.

@STbreakfree, I would be careful using porn at all. It is at your discretion, but it is a risky gamble to take on.

 

Yeah you're right I just kinda got lazy in my response. I'm not just skeptical however, the concept is just down right counter intuitive.

 

I'd say it's okay if she is completely fine with it. But the point on NoFap is to defeat this purpose and be clean from this corruption. Visited the "P Shop" with my girlfriend as well the other day, took no interest in the video selection at all witch is an amazing sign and she didn't either.. We were looking for "us". I believe it's fine unless it doesn't grow into an extended bad habit. I've told my partner I am doing NF and she says its a good thing.

がんばって!
Goodluck!

 

@STbreakfree welcome new member.I am sure you would not be here on this forum if everything was "fine".
Talk (not ask)holding hands in hand with her,holding eyes in eyes,"are you watching porn so that you look 'cool' /pretend to be 'cool' to me?"

Tell her about that you created nofap account because you feel something is not required in between love.
If you can ,please read the below thread with your gf together.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/moments-in-time-my-journal.254241/

 

Of course in reinforces all the darker problems of porn addiction still - both with her and without her (with her permission). You'll become more interested in viewing the next new and titillating sex object as something more exciting than your girlfriend. Perhaps you even fantasize that your girlfriend is one of those gals during sex? Perhaps you even need that fantasy to get excited during sex, because if you didn't have the porn, you'd just be left with your girlfriend, whom you've now reduced to as being just ordinary and too familiar. Thus, watching porn with your girlfriend or with her permission is not just about her assurance that you're not cheating or getting off without her - when in many very real ways that's exactly what you're doing with her present or not. It all leads down to a road of addictive sickness and adopting progressive darker fetishes that won't serve any relationship you have in the end. Soon you'll even get erectile dysfunction even with this charade going on. Don't let your addict self discern and make justifications for its own sick habits. Regrets!

 

Anyone who thinks this is OK has very little understanding of the human brain and what this does to it...to both of you. No, you won't be fine if you take her up on her offer.

 

I believe porn espouses characteristics which are the opposite of love, therefore I could never view its acceptance within a relationship as being a good sign.