Issues with sexuality / femdom .. shock-moment

Q

quick_brown_fox

Fapstronaut
Hello!

This is the second version of this thread. I deleted the first one because i thought the description of the explicit scenes should not have a place here on nofap because of being too disruptive. If someone wants to know it (for legal reasons) i can write it via a personal message.

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I got here because i want to skip / reset (or at least normalize) my sexual tendencies. I had a really rough time in the last years, my gf left me (it was kind of a toxic relationship, she was constantly complaining and searching for arguments), shortly after that i had a bad injury, which i first thought can't be fixed anymore so i lived the the convinction that i will never be able to do sports, dance, or go hiking again in my life (i am around 30 yo). During this time i kinda lost my will to live (generally) on for some episodes, where i just said fuck it and gave in to
a lot of porn movies i would not usually consume, because my control mechanisms just broke apart. Also, i suffered from depression even before my relationship.

Good thing is a found a really good girl on tinder, i talked with her alot and had sex once in a while, but i did not see her as a potential partner for a real relationsship. It was more like a "depression-group-therapy with benefits"

I started to watch some femdom porn before, but at this time it kept spiraling to more hardcore things during the time of around 2 years. To be honest, i am pliberal towards "unusual" sexual tendencies such as bdsm, as long as it is just a game and you can draw the line between the game and normal life and show respect to each other after sessions ended.

Scenarios like tease and denial and chastity for some days is fine for me, and will probably continue to be turn-on in a relationship. I gotta say i imagine myself as slightly submissive, but not completely, i try the best to make a partner feel good, but i also like to have my freedom of will and to not like to be talked down to or be humiliated and stuff like that.


Well, i was kinda thrilled by the imagination of being chaste by a keyholder, so i looked in the web and found this kinda new field of bdsm: findom. I was clicking from one domme to another and found a pretty sexy bitchy girl (there wasnt explicit material of her, just pictures of her in lingerie etc. ), who i wrote a message to. She said fine give me 100 dollars and i will be your keyholder so it went for 3 days, until i had a call for a job interview.
I told her i cannot continue because i cannot focus on this during the "game" because i cannot sleep all to well so it stopped. Some days ago, i wrote her again because i felt
like i have not much to do, all of my friends are in holidays so i want to experience something exciting during this time instead of being bored. So, i send her again 100 Dollars and the whole scenario started again.

Yesterday, i saw she retweeted something of another domme which was related to ballbusting. I clicked on the profile of this domme and there were pictures which looked extremely brutal and shocking. So, i did more research and i found out that the domme i talked to is a part of a studio called (not sure if i should write the name here) and what i was seeing there completely blew me off and i was horrified by the things shown there. It seems to completely go against the #1 bdsm rule "approval and consent" and the girls treated the males there with such cruelety and ignorance that i find it hard to believe that this shit is legal, the girls should be jailed in my opinion.

After i saw this, i wrote this domme a message that i saw some of the videos of the studio where she works with, that it's a huge turn off for me and that it crosses a line. I am still horrified by it and i simply cannot believe that this is legal in the united states, maybe someone should show these vids to a lawyer in my opinion.

So, this was like kinda of a wake-up moment for me. This is a point where i tell myself "okay, that's enough, until here and not further"
i try to get these pictures out of my head. I want to get back to normal / slight or soft-femdom sexual taste and being able to deal with my sexuality in general. I am not sure if i am able to make the 90 days reset, but maybe start with 1 week and then working my way to the reset.

PS (Juristical information if interested): Since i couldnt believe the legality of the content, i googled "how can (not sure if i should write the name here) be legal? " and just found the mainpage of the studio.
Here, the following lines were stated:

"U.S.C § 2257 does not apply to this site, as it is wholly owned and operated by Globalkink, a Belgian company not subject to the jurisdiction of US law. Nonetheless, Globalkink states that all performers were at least eighteen years of age at the time of the production of the visual depictions in this site. Records with respect to visual depictions of actual sexually explicit conduct are kept by:
Globalkink, Huzenblek 25, 2381 Ravels, Belgium."

PS2: I cannot believe that twitter does allow such kind of material shown on their profiles.

PS3: I would really be happy if someone would take charge against owners of studios like that. Even though as i stated i am pretty open towards alot of sexual fetishes, this is definitely crossing the line to being pure evil. One argument "pro" bdsm for me always was that there are some people who are just sadistic by nature, and it's somehow not "their fault" being born like that (at least neuroscience says so) so it's definitely better to realize this kind of personality disorder in a "game environment" instead of the real life, so yeah, i am extremely , maybe overly tolerant towards this field. But this was just so fucked up that i would like to see the "performers" behind bars tbh.
 
I think that in general femdom is just bad for a guy. That's just my opinion. But I have heard guys that are into it complain that in real life there are very very few women who are actually liking it. There are only ones who do it for money. So you will always be exploited. And that is a bad thing.
 
Well it is actually the question what is defined as femdom? during the last 2 years i watched some pretty hard stuff, but not even close as to what i saw mentioned in the first post. Even though i don't like to be completely submissive, and i want to stop the consumption of this kind of porn, i have to admit that some aspects can be used to give your sex-life an extra thrill even in a normal relationship. (mainly tease and denial and chastity as a sex toy, not as an instrument to disparage the male)
 
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well, i just fapped to this stupid bitch again. i want to make a break from stupid sexual thoughts all the time... how do you do it? Any strategies, fellas? btw. i threw away my chastity, i will not do this findom shit again, it was kind of a experiment, mostly because i was bored and curious, somehow curious about the "evil side" i know it's fucked up. going to holiday on friday, hopefully i got some new fresh spirit afterwards.
 
I didn't read your post, OP, but the whole Femdom thing is pretty clear, IMO. Immature has the right idea in that it is bad for you.

If you have ever observed couples, ones where the male is pussywhipped and the female wears the pants, that isn't pleasant to see, and it isn't something any sane man wants to emulate. Or observe women who are actually into female superiority outside of the internet in bikinis, but in real life. They are disgusting hate-filled creatures and bat-shit insane.

It's a warped fetish just like the idiotic findom. If you must give your money away in some masochistic fashion why not give it to the needy, not some greedy whore, and if you must give to a greedy whore, why not just shop at some overpriced department store. You will get ripped off, some greedy whore[the owners of the store] will get a piece of the cash, but you will have some little trinket to show for it at least.
 
Well said, bro. the fuckin problem is the AVAILABILITY of all this shit. sometimes i wish i'd lived in the 70's where you needed to go into the darkest corners to find that, and no one ever would do it (or at least very few) and here it's just in front of your fuckin nose once you visit pornhub . it's actually crazy.
 
quick_brown_fox said:
Well said, bro. the fuckin problem is the AVAILABILITY of all this shit.
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Speaking of shit, dog shit is available on any city street. you don't stop, prostrate yourself on the ground and lick it up.
Why? because even the thought of doing it revolts you. condition your mind and soul and body to think about femdom like that.
 
quick_brown_fox said:
Even though as i stated i am pretty open towards alot of sexual fetishes, this is definitely crossing the line to being pure evil
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Remember a few things:
a. something like 80% of the women in pornography 'industry' were sexually abused as children - often by someone close to them.
b. the abuse and exploitation continue in this 'industry'
c. this is industry is literally satanic and evil, no question about it.
d. It's no accident that twitter and big global corporations allow and encourage this shit, and increasingly ban and censor any political speech that opposes their narrative. They WANT you to be a slave and you're voluntarily forging the chains every time you watch this stuff, or sit on your ass all day watching Real Madrid play Manchester, or numb your brain with cannabis.

Weak, submissive, passive males are all it takes for true evil and totalitarianism to prosper.
 
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Themadfapper said:
I didn't read your post, OP, but the whole Femdom thing is pretty clear, IMO. Immature has the right idea in that it is bad for you.

If you have ever observed couples, ones where the male is pussywhipped and the female wears the pants, that isn't pleasant to see, and it isn't something any sane man wants to emulate. Or observe women who are actually into female superiority outside of the internet in bikinis, but in real life. They are disgusting hate-filled creatures and bat-shit insane.

It's a warped fetish just like the idiotic findom. If you must give your money away in some masochistic fashion why not give it to the needy, not some greedy whore, and if you must give to a greedy whore, why not just shop at some overpriced department store. You will get ripped off, some greedy whore[the owners of the store] will get a piece of the cash, but you will have some little trinket to show for it at least.
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This is happening when that person's mind is up and awake. But femdom or bdsm is like when someone gets urges, His mind is not there until a relapse.. Otherwise would would someone pay 100 or 200$ by a click just to get little pics or have a humiliating chat from someone. Those girls literally insult and use the humiliating way with the ones who seek dominant women to attract them and use them. It is the lust. And i think this is the case in any type of pornography when someone gets addicted to it for a long time.
 
I believe that pornography websites should be banned by all means. And there should be laws that restrict pornography content or +18 content in social media, ads, movies and video games. kink/bdsm groups should also be restricted by strong rules online and offline, and laws that punish those who abuse someone for his lust in the sake of money.
 
I've been struggling with this genre for a while. Often fantisized about the scenario in your original post. To be honest I think the whole thing is evil. I am starting to realize that this genre uses advanced mind control techniques. Like we are left to believe that there are just bitchy girls on the internet making videos and doing findom. But I am starting to think it's a lot deeper than that. This shit seems like it could even be some type of government operation. I know that sounds crazy. But this is like MK Ultra type shit. I am talking about the JOI /CEI type videos specifically. I think the main "stars" of the femdom genre are most likely being coached and trained by people with nefarious intentions. This is like depopulation. It makes you not have sex.
Look who owns the porn industry. I truly believe there is subliminal shit going on in these videos and it's targeting our subconscious. Or it is some type of sex magic ritual type shit. I have seen a lot of those videos (unfortunately), and there are so many that have satanic themes or themes about denouncing the Bible/Quran it's crazy. There is no way a bunch of random bimbos just simultaneously all started doing this shit at the same time and they all have similar themes and vocabulary being used. Something is up.
 
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i try to get these pictures out of my head. I want to get back to normal / slight or soft-femdom sexual taste and being able to deal with my sexuality in general. I am not sure if i am able to make the 90 days reset, but maybe start with 1 week and then working my way to the reset.
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^THIS!

I was in the same boat. I also think our femdom fantasies were pretty similar - mine went from cute femdom, to findom, to the super extreme stuff. Can relate 100%, and was very (VERY) deep into it.

You'll be surprised how you'll hit the reset before the 90 day reset. I'm about three weeks into a 30 day reboot (no porn or masturbation), and the idea of vanilla sex and going on cute dates with girls turns me on just as much as the bizarre stuff did at my low point.

Even if you don't go NoFap, what did help cure me was this was I would only allow myself to masturbate in the shower. If I wanted to fantasize about the kinky stuff, totally cool, but I could not look at porn while I was doing it (because I was taking a shower).

This helped me hugely because I had to create the fantasy in my head, or try to remember the image the turned me on so much. It helped get my brain working to where I had to put some effort into getting off.

After about a week, while I was still into the idea of being in some strange femdom situation, on a scale of one to ten, I went from an eleven down to a four. Getting those images out of your head happens quicker than you'd think.
 
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