It’s kicking in. It’s getting to me.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by angelasmith267, May 6, 2019.

  1. angelasmith267

    angelasmith267 Fapstronaut

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    Past few days I’ve been very tempted to watch. My rational brain knows that it’s sick how dependent I’ve become on it. The other part of me is trying to make an excuse so I can watch just a little. Then there’s a piece of me that reminds me how far I’ve come and how great it would be to not rely on porn to feel. That voice feels very small sometimes.
     
    kropo82 and fire.bird like this.
  2. Lirudu

    Lirudu Fapstronaut

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    Hi, what do you mean by 'how great it would be to not rely on porn to feel?'

    It might help you to show both yourself and the community the number of 'how far you've com' by adding the day counter... Also, keep browsing the community to convince yourself of why you want to do this and how to handle your temptations. Get involved.
    Good luck!
     
    angelasmith267 likes this.
  3. fire.bird

    fire.bird Fapstronaut

    I have the experience you describe often, I think that is how it plays out for most of us, I keep hearing people describe it in the same way you do. It's like standing at the crossroads of change, where you are tempted to go down the old familiar path, the one that brings instant gratification and short term relief from uncomfortable feelings, but you have this hunch, as small voice saying there is a better path, but it is unfamiliar and uncharted and will be uncomfortable to travel along compared to the wide open, well-trodded old path.

    I think the whole thing of rewiring the brain is that each time we do NOT give in to the loud voice saying how wonderful and harmless it would be to watch the porn, that voice weakens, that neural pathway weakens. Going through that process again and again is what is is all about, that is how the brain remoulds itself. The old pathway will become overgrown and disused after a while and the new one will become easier and easier to go down.

    Hope this helps, good luck!
     
  4. angelasmith267

    angelasmith267 Fapstronaut

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    When I say that, I mean I don’t want to continue to rely on porn to feel sexual desire, to feel aroused, to be intimate. I want to feel that on my own. And thank you, I’ll do that!
     
  5. angelasmith267

    angelasmith267 Fapstronaut

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    That was so helpful, thank you so much
     
  6. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    HOW DO YOU GO 30 DAYS WITHOUT A BLOCKER?!? HOW?!?
     
  7. Lot Yanisin

    Lot Yanisin Fapstronaut

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    Next week will be close to 30 days without a blocker for me.

    (Hot damn. Yay me)

    I don't know...I just....I don't know. Cold turkey. Thoughts are there. It's summer time. And I've seen some (fans self...) oh boy.

    Thoughts are still there... but I haven't seen any XXX.

    But there's a bit of a ...."danger" lurking in the near future
     
  8. Road to freedom

    Road to freedom Fapstronaut

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    That is one of the most important things to remember.
     
  9. angelasmith267

    angelasmith267 Fapstronaut

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    I really have no idea . This must be serious for me this time. In fact, I only use this Nofap on private settings on my phone which is where I usually watch P. I’m probably gonna need one soon. I don’t want to slip.
     
  10. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    One realisation I had was about that "small voice" you describe. Sometimes we feel weak, we feel ready to relapse, but we make it through. That voice does not need to be a huge roar, it just needs to be loud enough to keep you going.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. This is perfect.
     

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