If it works for you that's what's important. You should certainly hold strong to your core values. But all I can think of is the wonderful experience you are missing out on. My best friend is a 40 year old virgin. She's been holding out for marriage which may never happen and it's quite sad. The sex I had in college, as with most people was pretty bad especially the first time! I suspect most people feel the same. It's something you get better with with practice. I think of all the relationships I've had and can't help but feel my friend and you are missing out. She also is now very anxious about having sex because she is inexperienced and she is super picky about who she will even consider dating because at this point she's waiting this long so it better be worth it. I am of the opinion that you need to test drive the car before you buy it! I would never commit to marrying someone without knowing if we had good sex first. There are some things that can be fixed once married but others that can't. For example if I had not slept with my fiancé first I would not know he has severe DE and may not be able to O during sex and would have been stuck in a miserable sexless marriage. But now that I know we can work to fix it before we get married and if we can't then at least I know going into it if we still agree to the marriage what I'm getting into. I can't help but wonder if part of your hesitancy deep down is performance anxiety. I wish you nothing but the best and I'm sure these are things you have heard many times before!