It sucks to be a virgin at 31, especially in a society which is obsessed with sex

You dont have to lie, just tell them this is private information, u dont have to disclose. Only jerks will make fun about virgins.

 

This probably won't make you feel better but I'm 60 years old and never had a girlfriend and never had sex. I have zero luck with women and I've just about given up. I'm disabled from a bad car wreck in 85 and that was the end of my confidence. Have the idea of living the last of my years alone. I wish you all the best.

 

@BoboFett
Honestly trying to follow internet personality archetypes is something I regret doing instead I should've just tried to make do with my limits and embraced my own character despite how many flaws it may have. I will admit that it can be embarrassing going to college knowing I haven't beem with a woman yet, but if I am being honest that is mostly because of the way I am. I am interested in talking to you through PMs if you are interested and hearing more about what you have to say about false internet archetypes afterall it is not a real place.

 

It doesn’t matter if your a virgin or not. I lost mine to an escort from an adult website when I was 21 and the sex didn’t really do anything for me. I won’t lie to you, my confidence did shoot up a bit and I felt more handsome. But after that sexual encounter, I still had sexual urges and felt lonely. I felt lonely because I didn’t have a romantic intimate encounter with the woman, it was mindless pleasure like PMO.

 

I’m 39 next month. I’m still a virgin. I want a woman that loves God. I have determined not to be alone for the rest of my life.

 

Hey man, I have read the thread as well. Like with everything there is some things I agree with and some things I do not agree with.

The reason that men are idolized for having lots of sex and women are seen as sluts is biology. Before birth control was invented, women can only have 1 child every 9 months, so she has to be selective with the men that she sleeps with so she doesnt waste her energy and time for a child that will be unhealthy or weak. If she slept with anyone, that shows poor judge of character and a risk to the society and group in general. One man can impregnate 1000s of women if he is given the opportunity, so it's his goal to sleep with as many women as possible to increase the chances his genes survive. That can be why people see you as 'weird', it means you couldn't have a woman sleep with you. Hopefully that helps.

Overall being a virgin is not an issue for most people, it's something we build up in our heads. Personally I have had sex a few times in my life, sometimes with women that absolutely loved me and other times with one night stands. None of it made me a better person. Now I would prefer a long term relationship with a virgin or someone cool but most likely I will go overseas when the time comes, the women in the west are only for fun.

In short, dont worry about it man,

 

I meant that women in USA, Canada, Australia, England (commonly "western" countries) have proven (in my experience) to be going against their biological goals. They don't usually choose men that can provide long term security. The stress and headache this brings to my life isn't worth it, so I keep them at an arms length and have fun only. I'm not hugely successful with women, but I wouldnt settle down with most if given the option.

 

You saying this honestly made my day, it's honestly been rough back at college again. I don't know why but now I tend to avoid spending any time with women and men who complain about their relationships, If it ends and they are sad about it because they cared of course I will lend an ear. But I personally think that most relationship problems come from both parties, especially if infidelity and sleeping around were involved. But then again I am unsure how that would work out for me, a recovering porn addict. But I figure the most I can do is these challenges for myself so this way I can continue to move forward with clean living.

 

This is getting very common. Men are sick of the bullshit. Ok you want to date every guy while you're 20? No problem. but don't expect someone with a good job to marry you when you're 28 because you're worried you're going to have to start paying for your own drinks

 

You should make a youtube channel!

 

It’s actually because of biology. Men never need to worry about their reproductive health while women need to worry about their reproductive health.

 

you know that's an important part... i'm not as old as you but when i look at failed relationships i had... i think to myself, "i was not into relationships" because it's also a thing! dating is hard sharing your life is hard. for some people it's just natural but not for me. maybe not for you too.
i see some friends that are the type of having a girlfriend "minutes after moving to a new a country" (that's a caricature of course, but i've seen that happen haha) and when i compare myself to them... i realise we are just not the same kind of people, and though we share common interests, they are oriented differently towards people than i am. i need affection but i'm am not a people person whereas they are. people have interesting lives but i'm not interested in people.

that has its implication... which is virgin or not that's not their business.

does that resonate with you?

 

I just came here to say that this statement is false, I don't know, but your profile doesn't say "female" to say such a statement about women, they(we) are not all like that. So don't say "women" because you are generalizing saying "women" instead of "some women".
The words of a person have the power to influence someone, with that comment you could be influencing a teen on Nofap that doesn't know anything about women. You'll make him think that what you said there it's true, when it's not.

 

I feel ya. I'm 34, and it drives me absolutely insane. I just want it gone so I can live a normal life

 

an abusive parent is not better than not having a parent.

it sucks that society puts too much pressure to lose ur virginity or to have a gf/bf.

 

In response to the general sentiment of the thread... What pressure is there really?

From adolescents and some people with room temperature IQs or borderline personality disorder sure, television and film definitely.

If you cared about what the world values you wouldn't be here... Because the world's values are upside down and lead to dysfunction. The world values precisely the things we reject by being here. No one who matters cares if you are a virgin, and those who make a deal of it are lost sheep themselves.

It's in your head. Don't identify with it... And certainly don't identify with the values of the world. You might as well just PMO yourself into a coma if you do - because that is what the world values.

The truth is a lot of these "players" are just as messed up as you... Those women who snicker at your lack of experience were groomed from childhood and likely bear obvious signs of sexual trauma. (Not a knock against them.) The world is sick. Those who do well under it's rules must necessarily be especially sick.

If you are in your thirties you should be beyond this. Leave the past where it belongs - in the past. For the younger among you take this to heart - there is nothing wrong with being a virgin... And obsession with loosing it may very well turn you into a thirty or forty year old virgin... Which is the better outcome... Because at least you haven't harmed anyone by using them so you can brag to mediocre men.

Act and you ruin it.
Grasp and you lose it.
Therefore the Sage

Does not act
And so does not ruin
Does not grasp
And so does not lose​

 

I'm in the same boat, but I'm 19. You might be overthinking this whole thing. Be yourself stop worrying about other people fucking or being virgins. stop worrying about other people's religion when you just want to be healthy and happy. You gotta be yourself and go outside to try and find people you click with, that's what I'm gonna try to do with college. I think that I can only grow so much by being alone (friends and relationship), maybe that's true for you too.