It was important...

I am max, I am 25. actually I have a streak of 14 days no PMO. After many attempts to close this addiction I have understood just some things:

• It was important do not use PMO when I feel bad. I had to undertand life is not shit only for me, life is difficult for everyone, so why PMO when I am sad, when i am bored, when i am tired ecc. But also when I was happy I PMO. so I understood another thing: listen to my emotions. I use PMO to cover my emotions, to empty my self from emotions bombarding my brain with those things. Lately I am listening to my emotions, I write every thing I feel, and I accept what I am feeling.
  
• Second point, it was important do not focus on closing PMO. When I had a streak , even if a long one, I was continuosly thinking PMO, I was obsessed by it, how to close it, why I fell down so easily. I understand it is not important to think how to close with PMO, but to focus on life, how to realize my dreams, the will to live must be stronger than the will to PMO, stronger than urges. So I started to cultivate again my passions: reading, cinema, go to gym to have a beautiful body, meditate, karate. These little things can fill my life, I know belong to me and make mw what I am really. I asked to myself what I wish really, I want t obecome a scientist and so I got back to study as i am able.
  
• third point, it was important to learn to get up after a relapse. I had to understand after a relapse, not everything is lost. I thought in this way, so when I fell down, I said "ok I fell, so I can fall again and again" ecc. No rebooting is not LINEAR! A relapse after 70 days (I had this one) doesn't mean everything is ended, everything is lost. The improvements in my life decided at that time are not lost, I still see in my life and so i was astonished because at this point I had understood nothing about this addiction. So after a relapse, I don't care if I am at day 108, I care if the day after I can stand up again on the path I decided for my life. So I don't fear the urges, I don't fear a relapse. One could think in this way is easy to relapse again. I can say it is not so for me, now I PMO very much less frequently.
  
• fourth point, maybe i think the most important, it is connection. The opposite of a dependence is connection. Connection with the other people, connction with friends, the same family. How much i neglected family, friends. I felt as a strange person who spends his days PMOing. No I said. I started to call my friends, to talk with others, exploiting every opportunity to be with the others. For me PMO means loneliness, because when I PMO, I can talk with no one, I am closed in my room alone, as if those things could satisfy me, could be enough to me. No I need relations, I need to talk with others, express my feelings.

These are the things I could learn in many years of struggling for this addiction. surely there are other that actually i don't remeber. I hope this struggling can be useful also for others

 

Obsession for no PMO made me relapse so easily, I say not, I want to be free from PMO, it is the past. I agree with you, i use a counter but i am not interested too much even if every day my brain can heal from compulsivity. I want to concentrate on my life, on relations, friends, passions and not on PMO

 

thankyou brother. that was also for me, at a moment I understood I cannot escape from emotions using PMO, and also to me it is a very important point to leave PMO in the past

 

I take again this post. After now I am 142 without PMO, fantasizing, edging I subscribe all the things I wrote. One other point I want to add, reboot is not linear and there are moments where it is very very difficult, moments of depression, where I feel noone loves me but it is a whole lie by my brain to make me fall again. It is in this moment that urges explode. So it is importnat to find something to break the cycle addiction, something to break the urges but something very easy to do and for me it is going out for a walk, just a walk until urges end up