It's a pattern, here's how I'm breaking it

As cool as NoNut November is, we shouldn't wait for a month that starts with the letter N or a new year to try and better ourselves. Yeah it would've been cool to have a perfect PMO-free month and share my story about it, but I just had my 2nd relapse of the month. The new thing I did yesterday after it happened was I looked in the mirror and said "you're a human and you make mistakes". The whole shame thing is a double-edged sword because we should feel it when we want to better ourselves, but it can sometimes also give you an out, since you can just say it's okay. I'm hearing that keeping track of streaks and always watching NoFap related content can be detrimental, but the difference for me now is I'm actually journaling what happened and on a forum like this for accountability. I didn't come on here when I had the urge, and I knew all the tell-tale signs were there, and like a puppet the strings pulled me to relapse. It truly is an addiction, and it sucks. However, I am still eligible to improve this month over the last and keep at my goal. I wrote down my "why statement" back in April, which is to serve why I'm still attempting this lifestyle. Being on here and journaling in the moment, or after the fact are the next step to how I am improving.

Winners keep score, and here is my progress since I started last August:

1. I used to PMO almost everyday, now I only do it on average once a week.
2. I typically am PMO-free around 22/30 days out of the month.
3. My current high streak is 21 days.
4. Every time I consider dropping this altogether (which isn't often) I decline that absurd notion and get back on the horse.
5. The biggest recent development is more consistent journaling and coming on here. Currently 12/16 days PMO-free in Nov2019. My new goal is to finish off the month without a relapse.

As a highly driven dude, I don't like failing or losing streaks. But knowing that I care and am making progress is what's keeping me going. Thank you for reading.