It's bad to admit this, but I can find PMO extremely enjoyable.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Sep 24, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I actually find it more enjoyable when I don't use it for a few weeks or longer and then relapse and go on a binge for a full day. Like when I used to use it all the time I didn't enjoy it as much. But going without it for a few weeks or longer and then relapsing and binging for an entire day, I must admit I get extreme pleasure and enjoyment from this.

    It worries me how much I actually enjoy it sometimes. Like I honestly don't think in that moment there's anything else I would rather be doing. Quite worrying.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  2. Mistersofty

    Mistersofty Fapstronaut

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    I feel you on this one. That's what makes it so difficult to stay clean, anticipating that first release after a week or two without touching it. Similar to a heroine or nicotine addiction I presume.
     
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  3. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    I think admitting it is healthy. It has allowed me to be more realistic about why I do it and why I want to stop doing it. If I were trying to convince someone to quit smoking, I would first want to know what pleasure it gave them. I'm pretty sure they could name a million reasons why it's bad, but fear and shame often intensify a problem.
     
  4. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure you are addicted in the sense that many people on here are... many non addicts use porn in a sporadic way that does not take control of their lives.
    What you describe above suggests you are in control going for long periods of abstinence... ?
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I was getting longer streaks a while back, like a month and things like that. These days I usually get between a week to two weeks before I relapse.

    I mentioned this on another post, but I think I might be an alcoholic. What usually happens is I try to stay off the drink, but I usually only manage to stay off it for between a week to two weeks or so. Then what happens is I end up getting really drunk and the following day when I am hungover I go in to an extreme PMO binge for a full day. But then after that day I go back to not using it at all for a week to two weeks again. Basically not using porn again until the next time I have a hangover. I really don't know why hangovers from alcohol do that to me. They seem to make me want to binge on porn the entire day. The worse the hangover the worse the binge.

    But I don't use a smart phone and have a good blocking system on my laptop which my best friend is the administrator of and holds the password to the administrator account on my laptop and the password to the blockers. I can get him to unblock everything if I really want him to, which is usually what happens when I am hungover.

    But yeah I think without the blockers I'd likely be using PMO every single day, or nearly every day. I actually made another post about this as well, about how I don't understand how some guys can refuse it for long periods of time without blockers.

    Without blockers I know I would end up peeking, and we all know where that would lead.

    I have quite a good blocking system. I even can't see images these days on my laptop except from the sites I have aloud before my friend blocked me from being able to change it. I also have youtube restricted mode locked on and it can't be turned off. I have safe search locked on on every search engine and can't be turned off. Every anonymous search engine blocked. Of course all porn sites are blocked ext. All social media sites blocked. All social media content sharing sites blocked ext. All proxy sites blocked. All vp ns blocked. But now I can't even see images on the majority of the internet. I find that is really helping to not even attempt to peek or search for stuff.

    But yeah if I can access porn or porn subs I usually always end up relapsing. The damaging part I think is having access to it right in front of you and being able to search it and peek at it for a second. I can't really do that anymore. I mean I can go to my friend and have it unblocked at any time, but it's not something I usually do.

    But yeah my eyes usually aren't really seeing anything explicit in anyway for between a week to two weeks, but then when I am hungover I seem to be extremely horny anyway, and then the sexual excitement of getting everything unblocked for the day is extremely exciting to me.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2019
  6. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    Blockers aren't sure fire.

    And how does blocking them help you recover. Abstinence isn't recovery
     
  7. DerNeuMann

    DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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    Hi, friend. Maybe it would be helpful for you to look at how the two problems might be related? I'd like to suggest that the reason you get drunk and the reason you binge on pmo afterward are both the same reason. If you can dig deep and really name for yourself why you end up punishing yourself in these two ways, then you're halfway there. I wish all success for you.
     
  8. MuscularSherlockHolmes

    MuscularSherlockHolmes Fapstronaut

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    If you like it that much, then why worry about stopping? Cause ultimately, freedom comes when you no longer want it in any shape or form in your life.
     
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  9. jarvyjarvison

    jarvyjarvison Fapstronaut

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    Not even having sex with another human being?
     
  10. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    Hey, I admit. I wouldn't say I like porn (hentai). I fucking love it. I admitted it to myself many times.

    The problem is what comes after, right? Who can afford to have an entirely unproductive day here and there? And it's a big blow on your self-esteem. That should count also.

    I loved porn before, now I love the man I am when I'm on NoFap. I joke you not, sometimes I just looked at the mirror and thought I was some kind of awesome guy, just for abstaining.

    My current streak will be abstaining + gym, I'm looking forward to the results.
     
  11. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    That's great man.

    Yeah I seem to love PMO more the longer I go without it for a few weeks, and then what happens is I always end up binging on PMO for an entire day. When I used to PMO everyday I don't actually think I got as much enjoyment from it, but it was just something I did anyway.

    But I suppose it's even the same with me with alcohol. When I was drinking every other day I wasn't that excited by drinking, but I just done it anyway. But when I stay off alcohol completely for a few weeks the thought of drinking becomes very exciting to me. I guess PMO works in a similar way.

    Healthy behaviours go together with me, and unhealthy behaviours go together with me. For instance when I am not drinking alcohol I am not PMOing and I am eating healthy. When I am drinking alcohol I PMOing and eating junk food.

    The worry with me though is I actually feel better mentally when I am living the unhealthy way. Usually when I am living the healthy way my mental health seems to be worse.

    I've stayed off alcohol and PMO for quite long periods of time and still didn't feel better mentally. So it's quite a strange thing with me. But yeah I seem to feel much happier and have less mental health problems when I am living unhealthy. Quite concerning to be honest.
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2019
  12. Its not.
    I actually relapsed after good streak. And what I discovered is that I dont enjoy porn.
    Like, I could only feel dopamine spike. Actually, I didnt feel like, "Wow thats cool"
    No, it was lame. I actually thought that real life things are way more enjoyable.
    Really, you have to develop yourself to such level that porn will stop becomig enjoyable.

    Also, I think its just a stupid excuse. I like it.
    No, you dont like it, you are just addicted to it, and this addiciton ruins your life.
    Thats the truth...
     
  13. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I have actually experienced that quite a good few times where I was super excited to get back on porn and then when I got on it I found it boring at first. But what I will say is it didn't take much to make me start liking it again.
     
  14. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

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    If no one would have found PMOing pretty enjoyable nobody would be here.
     
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