It's been a while

So it has been a while since I have been on this website or posted anything on this website. A lot has happened since then but I will get down to just what has happened in the past year. Depression hit me hard at the beginning of the year. I was to the point some days that I didn't know if it was worth it to be in this world. In that dark time I had used PMO as a way for me to feel something at least. Something to take away the numbness that I felt. Sometime in April I got to my lowest point and decided it was time to do something. I reached out and got help. I started working on myself and slowly I got better. I started going to therapy and learned about some of the lifelong issues that I haven't faced yet but need to face. I got serious about dealing with my porn addiction. I got serious about taking care of the codependency issues that fueled my anxiety, depression, and porn addiction. I joined a group called Celebrate Recovery. I would highly suggest that everyone on here check that out. They have groups all over the country. Slowly I have been getting better.

As I look at where I am at now, I can say that my life has definitely changed. It has been a month since I have looked at porn but I still have the temptation. I'm working on abstaining from masturbation. That has been hard. I used to tackle my problems with the fact that I just want a quick fix and then be on my way. I have learned through my journey in the past few months that recovery is a marathon, not a race. I still have a lot that I need to work on but I can tell now that I am a different man than I am before. I'm not afraid to talk about my faults. Bringing the worst of you out into the light is what heals you.

For those of you out there still struggling. Keep fighting, don't give up home. Find a support group that can encourage you and keep you accountable. This forum is great but I have found that finding people in my area that have the same issues and talking face to face with them, helps tremendously.

This is the most important thing. If you are ever hit so hard with depression that you feel like ending it. Please reach out to someone. A friend, a family member, someone on this website or in another online forum. What you are going through right now is not worth ending your life for. YOU matter.

Thanks for reading guys. I'm going to try to visit more often and use this as another tool in my tool belt. I will probably be using this as an outlet to get my thoughts out there. Might be about dealing with my porn addiction, or might be dealing with another portion of my life but whatever it is, I think its good to journal my thoughts and feelings as I continue through this recovering process.