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It's been a year since I discovered NoFap and I feel like I've gotten no where

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Cool guy tough guy, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. Cool guy tough guy

    Cool guy tough guy Fapstronaut

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    On this day one year ago I discovered NoFap and have tried my very best to quit my addiction, it just hasn't happened. I had a few good streaks, but none longer than 20 days. I'm at a point now where it's almost daily. I'm still a fairly young guy, but this addiction is seriously consuming me.
     
    Hero25 likes this.
  2. Ravefist

    Ravefist Fapstronaut

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    Then you NEED to make it a thing where you mull over this addiction every SINGLE day if not multiple times a day. You need to tell yourself that you are not going to masturbate in the morning. In the afternoon, do so as well, and in the vening, before bed, you need to meditate on how to regain your lost semen.

    I'm telling you man, as a young guy from the military, I wish I had never started this habit. I wish I had never released my seed, and I am suffering a lot from it. If one day goes by that you can preserve your semen and not squander it, it as a victory for you.

    Do it for yourself and no one else. You'll be happy that you have your seed with you when the time comes for you to use it. Just keep on track, and if you feel yourself getting off track, jump right into the mentality to what this habit has taken (and will take) from you if you do continue to succumb to it.

    Best wishes to you, my friend.
     
  3. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    How many girls did you date or sleep with at that time?
     
    Cool guy tough guy likes this.
  4. Cool guy tough guy

    Cool guy tough guy Fapstronaut

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    0. I'm basically an incel and there isn't much hope for that to change.
     
  5. theends

    theends Fapstronaut
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    Me too. I am also young and I discovered NoFap around 2 years ago and I have been consistently breaking streaks and then restarting over. The highest streak I ever achieved was 21 days. I believe the main issue for me was giving in to urges almost instantaneously without doing what I know I could have done to avoid it (going out for a run, cold shower etc.) Instead, I just let it consume me. So now I have made a step by step plan on what to do when I get urges, that may work for you as well. It all depends on what you feel will help you out the most. (distractions, hobbies, work etc.)

    Another thing I'd say that helps is a lot is keeping busy. What are your hobbies like? I've always noticed a pattern of relapse when I am sat in my room distracted by social media or games when I could've been focusing on homework or something else more productive.

    Luckily, I was an avid gym goer even before discovering NoFap so it was very easy for me to spend a lot of my time improving my body physically. This later on led to other hobbies which I do now which are boxing and swimming as well as going to the gym which keeps me very busy. This combined with a school schedule eliminates a lot (not all) of potential relapse times. If you don't already, I would highly suggest starting to get into physical training of any sort.
     
    Cool guy tough guy likes this.
  6. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Before i am going to humbly disagree, wtf is an "incel"?

    You both have a gift and a curse at the same time. Being young means that you usually have much higher testoterone levels and you are WAY more prone to fall back then older guys.
    But due to the fact that you ARE young, IF you manage to abstain and focus on developing yourself, you get a much higher reward since you have more years that you can benefit from doing this.

    I suggest making a list on why you should PMO. And DEFINITELY getting rid of porn and any substitute

    Reasons are:

    I want to take responsibility that the times you are with a woman are going to be beautiful. I won'let that be a coincidence. I will learn how a woman thinks, study how to go down on her, kiss her, and make her feel good about herself.

    I will increase the duration of the sex by having a healthy body image for you and her, being able to become and stay erect longer.

    I will be more present and not drift off with my mind.

    I am able to create the future i want and i deserve.

    My happiness is NOT relying on my friends, family or my partner. They can make my life amazing, but whether or not i have an amazing Life, is up to me.
     
  7. Go hardcore then, stop paying for an Internet connection, if you find yourself using public wifi tto download stuff, sell all your devices, if you find yourself buying films, magazines, etc. join something where you can't do that, like the military, an ong that takes you to the other side of the planet, whatever. Wanna quit? You can quit. Period.
     
    diesel2256 likes this.
  8. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Man, you're 30 yo, it's time to stop that addiction, it will take what it will take, just stop it forever, cry if you want, but stop it.
     
  9. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    Of course nofap alone won't change anything if you don't do something different with your life. What are the needs that you are unable to meet?

    Do you think it is helpful for you to hold on to that belief?
     
  10. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    So we are on the same boat, I have discovered that I am addicted to porn and women, exactly year ago and did 20 days as a personal record. But don't believe you got nowhere.

    I will speak about me and maybe you will find yourself in it. I was fighting whole 2018 and did maybe 150 days clear and 200 days porn and fap. 150 days is amazing. This year I am planning to do more. Please understand that you are fighting very deeply rooted addiction where it had imprinted itself into your brain. Someone who can beat addition in a first try or month is not even addicted. Addiction comes from inner loneliness and shit feelings about yourself (plus complex boredom) It will damage prefrontal cortex and then you are deeply in it.

    Every time you succeed an urge you will figure out some nano-information for your brain to help you succeed in the long term. What I am trying to say is that you can fail 8764x and then suddenly you make it. And that's beautiful in it. One day it will click and you will be able to do very long streaks. You will build that discipline. Also please study how to strengthen prefrontal cortex which is needed to control your sexual impulses. I read a lot and it helps. I mean when I say a lot I mean a lot. Sometimes 6-7 hours a day.

    Another thing is where your motivation is coming from. Some people can succeed in positive motivation and some people need negative motivation to break through. For me, for example, positive motivation does nothing. I need to apply negative motivation which is fear "of something" which keeps me from porn.

    If you start to see yourself as a hero and you will see your journey as a successful journey even you are failing you will start to see results. Your way of thinking (which is imprinted in you from your childhood) keeps you in addiction as you are too harsh with yourself. You need to start to be kind with yourself. Good luck to you.
     
  11. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    That's a bunch of nonsense. These thoughts are very toxic for you and keep you in addictive mode. There is a beautiful girl out there who is looking exactly for you, she is dreaming about a guy like you. Always remember you are creating your own life. If you stick to a negative pattern of thinking your life will be negative no matter that you look like Hugo boss model. If your attitude is positive your life will turn out positive. No matter how you see yourself in the mirror. You will attract women by who you are. Please spend at least a week on many videos from this guy and change your way of thinking. You can and you will win.

     
  12. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Don't mean to be rude, but, do you knows the things you wrote for personal experience, or do you know them because someone else spred them?

    (that is not an attack post, i really mean the question)
     
  13. 4DCreator

    4DCreator Fapstronaut

    We already had a chat elsewhere :emoji_thumbsup:
     
  14. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Maybe, did i make the same question to you?
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2019
  15. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    You sir, do understand!
     
  16. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    Thoughts do create reality that is true. But most of our thoughts are unconscious. Which means that most of the time they play automatically and take an enormous effort to change. And then I'm not even mention that the change might not be the correct one and might reaffirm your old not helping thoughts and make then ever stronger. Also some thoughts and beliefs have multiple layers build on eachother - and keep eachother in life in a sense. Which makes things incredibily complex.

    People mustn’t expect that they see changes very quickly. I had this knowledge for years and yet I could not change it, which created the pit of self-criticism. Don’t make the same mistake as I did and give it some time - and give yourself the time to do so.
     
  17. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    The things that make us grow the most are usually the things we fear the most and are able to confront the fear.

    Only by leaving your comfort zone, true growth will occur. Almost every single thing i did that led to the person who i am now, was due to some kind of overcoming and learning how to deal with heart breaks, social anxiety, fear of dogs, fear of heights, fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, fear of spiders and the fear of disappointing a girl in bed.

    I had to face every single one of them, most of them were active decisions. I knew i had to do it to grow.

    And my old self changed into a completely new being in the process.
    I am not where i want to be.
    But compared to how i was before, i am not just miles ahead.
    I am lightyears away from my old self.
     
  18. Spikey Cloud

    Spikey Cloud Fapstronaut

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    Yesss exactly! I like this qoute :p

    "The cave you fear to enter, holds the treasures you seek"

    Btw may I ask what you did to overcome the fear of dissapointing a girl in bed?
     
  19. Just as alcoholics have to go to AA meetings and work their 12 steps of recovery daily, we also have to work a program on a daily basis. Try looking up some 12 step work that you could maybe apply to PMO. Hit me up if you’d like to discuss further.
     
    Cool guy tough guy likes this.
  20. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    First of all realize that a girl can disappoint you too in bed. It goes both ways. Then think about it, if a girl wasn't that exciting in bed, would you judge her immediately and not want to date her anymore or would you give her time, like a decent human being? If you do the ladder, why do you assume she wouldn't be decent like that too?

    We aren't perfect, sex is rarely perfect and your partner match is rarely perfect. The trick is to go with the flow. Accept what you have. If you have an erection, great, enjoy it. If you getting floppy, just go down on her and most important of all, stay in a good mood! If she can see in your face that you feel uncomfortable because you're soft, she's gonna feel bad too. If she sees it doesn't bother you she will have an easier time as well. The mood will be lighter and the chances of you getting into the flow and hard again much higher.
    When I have sex I usually stay in bed with her for 1-4hrs, I get hard, soft, hard, soft all the time, I don't care anymore. I just go with whatever because I stopped judging myself, I pushed those thoughts away and classify them as stupid, and now I end up being hard most of the time and we have fun non-stop.
     

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