It's been over a week since stopping fapping, but need help

I think the thing I've slowly realised with women is that their feelings for you change from day to day, week to week.

By the sounds of it she was probably being 90% nice, and maybe 10% interested. (Just my guess, you are in the best position to guess that number).

That doesn't mean it's a complete write-off forever. Everything you do from now on will either increase that % interest in you or decrease it. You're either going in the right direction or the wrong one. They key is to pay attention to those things that increase it and do those more, and when something makes it go down figure out why and stop doing it!

I've had a girl that I almost completely blew it with, she ended up pretty much hating me. Then I turned it around because I started doing all the right things and she forgot about and forgave all the stupid stuff that I did.

What's key now is what do you do with that 10% interest she showed in you?

First of all make sure you get the basics in. Be well dressed and well groomed. Don't look like a scruff bag, get a haircut maybe, wear nice clothes, keep yourself clean. This shows that you have self-respect and she will respect you more. Forgive me if I'm telling you stuff you already know!

Second of all, you must make sure you have a fulfilling life independent of her. If he senses that you are completely dependent on her for your own happiness, she will find that frightening. No one should have that kind of responsibility, it's not her job to make you happy, it's yours.

So make sure you have things in life you really enjoy doing for yourself. Have hobbies, have interests, have things you like to do and try and enjoy your life as much as you can.

This will also help because she will see that you've got something good going on that she might want to be a part of.

Sorting out those two basics will stop her wanting to run for the hills every time she sees you. It will mean she doesn't have any warning bells going off in her mind.

While you're sorting that out, you need to get to work on creating a relationship with her and see if she takes an interest. This means you'll have to talk to her. But just try to talk to her like a normal person as best you can. Be interested in her, make a conversation, listen to what she says, make an appropriate response.

That conversation you had with her already was perfect, you were talking about something normal and it made complete sense to have that conversation, nothing weird about it from the sounds of it.

Now that you've already had a conversation you have permission to speak to her more. Ask her how her exams are going, or maybe ask her if she knows the answer to some question you might have about the course.

It's a completely normal thing for you to go and start talking to her about stuff like this, you're basically making friends. While you're talking about all the normal mundane stuff, she'll be checking you out. She'll start to wonder what kind of person you are, and that's where the two basics of A) Being well presented, and B) Having a life of your own, will start to build the attraction.

If you've got those two things sorted and you can keep up normal human conversations with you then you just have to wait and see if she starts to show a bit of interest. Like if she starts smiling at you, or coming up to you to ask you stuff, anything like that.

That's when it's probably a good idea to ask her out on a date. Something simple like a coffee or something like that.

In life if you want to have a relationship you'll have to get used to working on that alongside other projects. So yeah it might be a distraction but that's not going to change. If you've got a girlfriend then you'll find you might have some thing to sort out with her at the worst time, like the day of a big meeting or something like that. You've just got to be able to juggle more than one ball at a time in life unfortunately.

Any other questions just ask and I'll try and help as best I can! Let me know how it goes.

 

Hey there,

I have been in your situation dozens of times. I am finishing College this year and I had lots of exams and lots of crushes too. And I had lots of times I wanted to fap. Try your hardest to resist, and think how good it will feel to you, talking to her after finishing your exam without fapping before. Fapping and porn are the denial of Love. I wish I would know that some years ago.

 

@programster Hey, this is a good thing u are embarking into. I'd just say that if you are doing this with all your energy then it would be good to not have relations with women for a bit. It might make you super horny and insane! Then you find yourself... in that pitiful state.

Think about it, u are talking 2 girls cause you want to make babies . Your trying to dicipline your Fap skills. Women are pretty good at completely destroying that. .

Honestly though I would be really hard pressed not to talk 2 girls in college. I know when I went I was getting ambushed left and right! huahua. All day n nite!

Well good luck man. This is gonna be hard !

 

I just got out of my first long term relationship and its been two months since we broke up. Ive crushed on a few girls that I work with but lately ive been soley focusing on this one girl who has always stood out to me. I say hi to her whenever I see her and she always gave me vibes that she might have a slight interest in me but weve only had very short conversations.

Whats interesting tho is a few weeks ago she teasingly told me I should go work in her department with her. I tried to but unfortunatly they had just hired another person over there so they didnt need help.

But! Just yesterday I found out that she started working in my department! That means that I might be able to help train her and our shifts might overlap a little. The only thing is I have no idea how I am going to persue her from there. Also theres very little I know about her besides that she has a kid who is like 3 years old, which boggles my mind because I have no idea what it would be like to date someone with a child already.

 

Guys,
Relationships take work. If she likes you, take it slow. Don't read too much into it until she provides you with clear signs. Being nice to you is not necessarily one of them. Hanging out with you, possibly offering you her phone number, and/or she mentioning to you that she's interested is a better indicator. As my wife use to tell me, "just because I show you affection doesn't mean I'm ready for sex. I'm simply showing you affection." Taking this approach will eliminate potential feeling of rejection and help manage expectations.

NewDrew,
Be careful with women at work. I would definitely let her take the lead her. If you screw up and take her kindness the wrong way, it can end badly. Allowing her to take the lead reduces this risk. Good luck.