It's getting tough

Meditate

 

I'm no medical expert but in my experience you cannot control involuntary bodily functions... what you can do however, is take the fight to your brain.
The fight to abstain is a mental one which you can win.

 

This is indeed a mental challenge. In living life I pass many “triggers “ on a daily basis. Whether attractive women in the real world (the store was a little tough today, I got a semi and thought I might pop) or ads, commercials, pop ups or whatever in the digital world.
I also have my fantasy bank as well as memories galore. All these are sorted out in my mind. I have to choose to focus on something healthy if I want to remain free. The more I entertain sex or fantasy thoughts, the harder it is for me to not PMO.
I almost have 30 days and struggling with fantasy a lot today. I am remembering a past “massage “ and want to go get another. I want to do it really bad and am ready to almost cry. But as of this writing, I am free.
I have had some long runs of complete freedom in my life. I have dealt with this for decades. My experience is that I have to pay attention to my thoughts. They are the key to my behavior. We have become increasingly expectant of things happening fast. But you don’t feel better after one week of chemo. You feel worse . But to be cancer free you have to keep going for chemo until you are cancer free. Same here.
I am writing here to help myself stay sober today. @guyfromtx it gets better I promise. It gets easier. But first it’s really fucking hard. I gotta grind it out. I gotta dig deep. And that’s what you’re doing. You’re on here, asking questions and figuring it out. Keep the faith man. It will get better.