It's good to be back on here.

It's good to be back on here and now I see how necessary it is to be here during your rehab you must go through to overcome your addiction. Today is May 23 2017 and I'm rededicating my life to getting better. I was at my worst yesterday. It was the worst that I had ever been in my 15 years of watching porn.


I got off of work early and I came home and porn binged for the rest of the day. During the hours that passed by(with a nap in between) I didn't eat and I didn't drink anything. My dad came over and I didn't answer the door because I was too busy trying to find a scene I've seen a million times. My friends were texting me and I didn't respond. When I got done it was 10:30 at night and I was literally weak when I stood up. My back was hurting, I had stomach pains, headache, eyes aching and my penis was throbbing. We all have that moment after we get done that we snap back into reality. When I did I actually started to tear up. I got sad because I realized I just wasted the entire day giving into my addiction and neglected family, friends, food and liquid in the process. That's when I realized this has to end.


I recorded a voice memo on my phone to help me through urges and titled it "You'll regret it". I'm a Baltimore Ravens fan and Ray Lewis is my favorite all time player. Ray tweeted on twitter a couple days ago, "If you quit, you'll regret it". I can use that as motivation for me to go on instead of giving in and I can listen to that voice memo I left myself. You have to do whatever it takes to make it work and I have to make it work this time.


Thank you all for reading this and I hope you're all going strong with your reboot. Much love and respect to all of you!


"If Tomorrow wasn't promised, what would you give for today?" -Ray Lewis