It's hard to controll life when abstaining from delight yourself

I find it hard to controll life when I'm abstaining from delighting myself sexually.
However, at the same breath, I feel that I have a huge reward on my behaviour because I feel self confident and I really love myself in whichever situation I'm at. It is something that I did not have in the past, I used to self loath myself after I did stuff that dissapointed myself. Now, I'm just empathic to myself and I feel nice.