I mean even tough i am religious I never did believe or believe in possessions and demons and the likes. I believe we have our own free will and just saying "demons" undermines that. However, i am also addicted to porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing. This is the one thing i have been battling with for years and still can't shake. When i'm on streaks it's absolutely amazing and I feel like an entirely different person. When I crash and binge, i feel horrible. Probably most of you are familiar with that. What fascinates me is my state prior to a relapse and the complete switch that happens from the "normal me" that doesn't pmo, that's present, relatively happy, goal oriented etc and the "other me" that watches all kinds of filth and does things the "normal" me finds disgusting. After the binge, when the fog lifts, i'm like, what tf did I do? When i am on a streak and I get the cue, it's like my mind stops working and if i don't quickly shut the thoughts down completely it goes into a spiral i can not control. I forget why I started it, i forget what i said i'd do when i get the urge, I forget my own values, I forget my own solid logical reasoning for not doing it, everything flies out the window. Which is why i mentioned "possessed" in the title. Now i know i'm not actually possessed but "possessed" describes the feeling, the transformation, the acting out etc better than and psychological terms could. Psychology wise this is tangent to some sort of multiple personality disorder (disociative disorder). I say tangent because there's so many commonalities to MDP, but none are "full blown". The split is there, but not to such an extent. That's why it feels so weird to say it and i know it's not the case, but even if MDP sort of describes it academically, "being possessed" describes it better on an intuitive level.