It's quite strange that there is some guys that get laid regularly yet they still prefer PMO?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 14, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    I mean I would more understand guys preferring PMO who don't really have successful sex, or don't have good sex because of sexual dysfunctions like PIED ext.

    But there is literally guys out there that have successful good sex, yet they still seem to enjoy PMO more.

    Do you think this only happens with guys who have been with the same sexual partner for a long time? I could maybe understand a guy getting bored and less excited with the same sexual partner, as this is actually how it is supposed to work, and how it works in nature.

    But I mean if there is guys out there that get laid frequently by loads of different beautiful women, surely guys like this wouldn't prefer PMO over having sex with all these different beautiful women?

    I just don't really understand how we have actually reached a point where there is guys who are actually having regular successful good sex, yet they still prefer PMO.

    I was actually reading an article there about these women complaining about how their husbands actually prefer porn over having sex with them. I mean that is just so messed up.

    So to the point they no longer have a sexual relationship because their husband would rather masturbate to porn.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2020
  2. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

    45
    34
    18
    i am one of those guys.i am married man but prefer pmo over real sex with wife.
    why?
    well,pmo edging,variety of women,the excitement is endless while sex with wife is alot of work.watching porn while M is alot easier and has high dopomine.
    strange it is early morning and my brain is saying i need to masturbation to naked pictures but i know the smart thing is to resist the urge.the thought will pass.
     
    skaterdrew likes this.
  3. Timecop

    Timecop Fapstronaut

    93
    93
    18
    I have a simple answer to this: Over stimulation. Porn is a huge overload of dopamine ( High speed porn, multiple tabs open, ). Same as junk food over regular food.

    But, you are right, it is messed up.
     
  4. chip_danger

    chip_danger Fapstronaut

    38
    41
    18
    It’s about the novelty in having millions of beautiful people and scenes to choose from. One single romantic partner can’t compete with that. This is one reason why it’s such a problem. For a porn addict, the brain learns to favor effortless attainment of the “perfect” fantasy (P), over the challenging pursuit of an imperfect reality (sex with your partner). Of course, the pleasure from PMO is not sustainable and there are terrible consequences to this as many of us know. But that is why we are still hooked despite having an attractive sex partner.

    Even if you’re sleeping around with multiple people, the same still applies. You can always find someone hotter, sl*ttier, or whatever, online ... and have many choices. For much less work. And I believe sleeping around casually tends to get the mind in a lustful state (chasing novelty and frivolous sex) and thus prone to supplementing with PMO.

    It is a sickness for sure.
     
    drkarim, Timecop and skaterdrew like this.
  5. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    It does not seem strange to me at all, I wish it did.

    There are so many reasons this happens but let me pick two.

    Men and our obsessions
    @skaterdrew do you have any hobbies? I have too many and they tend to change, but I get really into them. Take fishing. I use to go fishing, and often when I wasn't fishing I would be reading magazines about fishing, watching DVDs about fishing, or browsing the internet for new fishing ideas. All of that is very recognisable, no? But you could replace the word "fishing" with "watching beautiful naked women" and it would still work. Why does this behaviour make sense to you for fishing and not for pursuing beautiful women?

    Validating our broken identity
    Suppose something in your upbringing gave you a broken sense of what women were. You didn't see them fully as other people but more as a prize to be won. You are good at it, so you "get laid frequently by loads of different beautiful women" but you need to keep reaffirming that your way of seeing the world is correct. Watching porn is a great way to do that.

    There are millions of other reasons that seemingly successful men watch porn, these are just the first two that came to mind.

    But back to my first point. When I read what the wives and girlfriends write here they are often shocked and hurt that their men chose porn when they were in the next room desperate for sexual intimacy. It does not shock me at all, but part of me wishes it did. It would be great to share that naive belief in life. There's something horribly cynical about the real world. I know that's a silly way to see things—I should find a way to see the real world as positive and naivity as a passing phase—but I cannot help seeing naivity as good and the real world as broken when it comes to men and sex. That's probably part of my probem, that failure to acknowledge myself positively.

    So I hope you hang on to your incredulity, it sounds like a great state to be in; I wish I could join you there.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2020
    drkarim, chip_danger and skaterdrew like this.
  6. Ricardo26

    Ricardo26 Fapstronaut

    104
    29
    28
    Whats the terrible consequences of PMO
     
  7. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

    325
    433
    63
    1. Just to do both does not mean that you prefer both...
    2. It's like having junk food instead of standing in the kitchen and cooking yourself a nice and healthy meal for one hour.
     
    drkarim likes this.
  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    I remember one of my friends said to me one time that he can't wait for his girlfriend to go to work a lot of the time so that he can get the porn on.
     
  9. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    That is quite a good way to put it. Standing in the kitchen and cooking a nice healthy meal for your self took a lot more effort, but it was so much more rewarding and beneficial for you in the end. Where as eating junk food was instant, easy, probably excited you more initially, but then the end results produced nothing positive to your life, but in fact only produced negatives to your health ext.

    I guess the first analogy is similar to pursuing real women and having real sex. It takes much more effort, but is so much more rewarding in the long run.

    Then the second analogy is similar to PMOing on high speed internet. It is easy, there is no effort, you get it instantly, but there is no rewards from it in the long run, but it in fact only hurts you in the long run.
     
    drkarim, Timecop and RollerCoaster like this.
  10. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

    325
    433
    63
    Yes, that what i wanted to say :D
     
    terpydabs likes this.
  11. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,047
    1,401
    143
    Having sex with lots of different women is still objectifying women and still addiction, sex addiction, this is similar to porn addiction. I thought this is what we are trying to escape. An unhealthy view of sex, people and interactions.
     
    terpydabs likes this.
  12. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    I more think people on here are trying to escape porn addiction and the behaviour that goes along with it.

    Actually for mammals having multiple sexual partners in nature is actually the way nature intended it to be. Nature intended for male mammals to run about impregnating as many females as possible.

    Humans are mammals. But what happened is humans frontal lobes in the brain kept growing over thousands or even millions of years , which caused humans to become more and more self aware, to become more and more intelligent. So humans got to a point where they somewhat now actually go against their natural instincts. Because like I said male mammals in nature usually have multiple sexual partners. Male mammals in nature usually run around impregnating female mammals very frequently in nature. This is actually what our ancestors would of done. Maybe not so much over the last few hundred years. But when you go further back in time when humans behaviour was more animistic this is certainly what would of happened.

    The thing is even though humans are more intelligent now, more self aware now. That instinct that our ancestors had to reproduce is still deeply within in. This is why we are naturally still very attracted to other women if we have a wife or partner, this is why many people end up cheating, this is why a new sexual partner is usually much more arousing and exciting than a partner you have been with for a long time.

    This is how nature designed it. It designed it this way so that we constantly keep reproducing. So we further the survival of our species.

    Human beings aren't actually creatures that generally only had one sexual partner. Male humans a very long time ago generally went about impregnating multiple females very frequently. These same systems and impulses are still within us today. Even if humans have now got to a point they are much more intelligent and they are actually doing something that somewhat goes against their physiology.

    This built in mechanism within us is the reason all of us are finding it so difficult to stop PMOing. It is the reason some people cheat. It is the reason we will always look at other women even if we have a partner. It is the reason we will always get more sexually aroused by a new sexual partner.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2020
    terpydabs likes this.
  13. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    827
    1,011
    123
    Humans are by nature lazy creatures. our modern lifestyle of overworking, under sleeping and constant low-effort entertainment in the form of video games, TV and music contributes to this. Loosely speaking, there is never enough time for us to do all the things that we want to do - at least, not without seriously examining exactly what it is that we want, which most people don't make time to do :)

    PMo versus sex? It's low effort, with the 'same' (at least, on a basic level) reward. Having a life partner isn't sex on tap, you know. Even if it was, a lot of men feel too tired for sex and yet are able to masturbate to porn.

    It can also be connected to your memory, and the damage you did to yourself growing up with pmo. In nearly ten years single, virtually all my sexual experiences were interacting with the screen. So it is still more familiar to me than proper sex. If I give up pmo for longer than a few days, I don't fantasise about sex, I fantasise about watching porn.

    It always concerns me when the perpetually single (nothing wrong with that, I have been there too) guys on here think that finding a girlfriend will make all their problems go away.
     
    terpydabs and Hardwork11 like this.
  14. chip_danger

    chip_danger Fapstronaut

    38
    41
    18
    For me the consequences have been to waste so much of my potential for 20+ years of my life, preoccupied constantly with perverse thoughts, unsatisfied with my sex life because it could never live up to the perversions I’d developed due to porn, wasting time, operating at a lower energy level than I now realize is possible. Lack of focus. Coping with PMO and not confronting my real mental/emotional issues. Always wanting to satisfy my desires with lowly pleasures. Etc etc.
     
    terpydabs and Ricardo26 like this.
  15. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,047
    1,401
    143
    Do you prefer an animal family where all your daughters are regularly raped by the alpha males and the laws of the jungle exist so it is kill or be killed. Or do you want to live in a human society where there are family values, children enjoy having both parents around for Christmas and birthdays etc. But I understand the appeal of everyone being naked like animals and fucking anything beautiful that walks, but to me that is not the society I want to live in. I prefer a society less primitive. I understand that porn uses supranormal stimuli to amplify primal behaviour and aims to make that dominate everything else. Unfortunately it leads to PIED, sissification and all kind of weird things that I would prefer to avoid. I understand as a teenage boy/20s it is good to fuck a lot of women to gain experience. A guy who spends his whole life just fucking random women, what does he achieve, he is no more than an animal. I believe as men we have to use our lives to build good things for society, that doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy sex.
     
  16. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    No I prefer living in a human society. All I was getting at is those same instincts are still deep within our brains today.

    It's the coolidge effect. The main purpose of this is to get us an other animals to reproduce. To basically make sure every female is impregnated. To further the survival of the species.

    This is how nature designed it.

    All I was getting at is this instinct is still deep within our brains today. It is the reason we want to keep PMOing. It is the reason we want to check out other women. It is the reason we want to have sex with tons of women. It is the reason we cheat. It is the reason relationships lose that spark. It is the reason we lose that excitement with our partners. It is the reason we eventually get fed up with our partners sexually.

    The main purpose of this instinct is likely to get us to go out and impregnate another female to further the survival of our species.

    I can't help it if nature designed it this way.

    But your right. I do prefer living in a human society where we are not running around behaving exactly the same as animals. All I am saying is this instinct is still deep within our brains today, even if we are civilised now.
     
  17. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,047
    1,401
    143
    Thanks, I understand and agree with your points. I do believe that we can control these basic instincts like we are all trying to control PMO. I agree that when relationships lack variety then people cheat, but the alternative is to constantly work on relationships making them deeper and more exciting.



     
  18. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    1,283
    893
    113
    I mean yeah people certainly spice things up in their relationship, spice things up in the bedroom to keep it exciting.

    I have actually heard one of the biggest things that works in relationships is not seeing each other as frequently. So basically being together the majority of the time just kills the excitement in the relationship. Where as maybe not seeing each other as often, maybe not actually living together, when someone works away from home and doesn't see their wife for weeks.

    These sort of things really keep the excitement in the relationship going.

    With how the coolidge effect works, I could see how these kind of things could keep a relationship more exiting and interesting.
     

Share This Page