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Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by zxcv, Feb 4, 2017.
I'm also still not convinced that I'll ever find a girl.
I hear you man. Girls are tough to grasp, even without the PMO addiction. But lemme tell you after reading so many peoples' stories of success and victory, things look like they do get easier!
We just have to stay strong and know that through our trials and tribulations we will get stronger and our girl troubles will be a thing of the past.
Take this time that you are rebooting to focus on yourself. I know that it can get to be lonely sometimes, but heal yourself first. You could hang out at some coffee shops or a local cafe, that can help to be around other people. If you have a hobby, you can find a group in your area to hang out with. You could also try to hang out with a group of friends as well. It is tough and I believe you will come out the other side stronger. Stay strong!
I hear ya man. "Women seem wicked when we're unwanted" - Jim Morrison of The Doors.
Funny you say that because some of my longer binges were during periods of time where I knew I was getting laid (and for the record, no, the girls didn't magically lose interest after me having relapsed again and again the previous days).
I guess the grass is greener on the other side. I feel like there's a certain drive to improve when you're single.
If you are not convinced of something, then it will not happen. That's true.
One of the main reasons why I did PMO is becauses I said to myself, a girl won't be coming along anytime soon. I might as well PMO. This is very dangerous thinking. The minute I went on nofap, I gained some confidence, and girls started paying attention to me. It's been 40 days on nofap and I have been for the first time turning down advances. It's like girls know that you are on nofap and can sense it through your behaviors. Trust me, the longer you go without PMO the faster you will find that special someone. You just need to believe that the future will be better, no matter how impossible it seems.
This is so true! What an amazing response brother
I can tell you for sure if you are going to fap everyday you never going to find that girl. 100%. If you stop your odds will be slightly better with every single day.
Do it for yourself and the future life you would like to have. If you want a relationship, picture your ideal girl and relationship. Now imagine what PMO will do to that girl and that relationship. Use it to motivate yourself to heal, before you look for her. Become the man that is worthy of that life, of her.
NoFap is a great place to start. Think about counseling too, if you haven't already. Just remember, not every counselor is a good fit for every client. For one thing, if the counselor minimizes porn addiction at all, leave. Just don't waste your time. There are good counselors out there that understand. I know because I've had several good ones!
Yeah, that's pretty much how I'm thinking. But I've gotten to 115 days of nofap before, and I still thought I'd be alone.
There is a saying “The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.” If you say you can't do it then that is the truth, you can't.
Saying I can't do it is an affirmation, you need to stop telling yourself you can't do it and start believing in yourself.
It's really tough until you understand that simply saying 'I can't do it' is the mind killer.
Of course you can do it, people here are no different to you, we all have weaknesses.
Stop telling yourself you can't, that is your biggest hurdle. Perhaps take a step back and look at this small part of the process. You can't eat an Elephant in one sitting, you need to break it up into smaller chunks.
Work on your affirmations, turn I can't into I can, you're only changing one thing, the letter 't'! But seriously, listen to some motivational speakers on You Tube, go for a run, just stop saying to yourself 'I can't, because when you do, it's true.
Work on being someone who makes you happy not being with someone who makes you happy. That being said, you need to step outside of your comfort zone in social situations and actively seek a partner. Nofap is great but its not enough - improve other facets of your life be self sufficient, but look for love with pure intentions. Good luck.
Additionally, nofap lets you see girls differently and evokes interests you may have not previously had.
Truer words have never been spoken.
*sigh* Lovesickness sucks.
I don't want to be the one to say this but,
You need to man the fck up brother. Don't be making excuses about not having a women. Its all you, and the things you tell yourself in your head. You can attain anything, if you put in the work. Beat this addiction, develop life skills, and get that women. No excuses
I hear you. After a somewhat devastating experience, I decided to improve myself and finally become worthy of a girl's love.
Over 100 days and other improvements later, I'm still my shitty self and am starting to question my motivations. Nobody is ever going to care whether or not I PMO, so why bother?
So you don't consider your self worthy of any girl's love?
Just keep going with it, in actuality a female will make you want to fap more and or pmo. I'm new and know by experience. I had a relapse partly because I met a new girl, and had a very rapid build up and in the morning like felt hopeless to the urge. Then felt like I lost a bunch of confidence and drive to even talk to her...
Not really, no. I don't have anything to offer and it would be unfair to keep someone I love from finding someone they actually deserve.